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I use it! I love it! I've never used it on an active outbreak, but I have put it on if I am feeling tingly down there. I have used it at full strength, but I have also mixed it with lavender. It burns a bit if you use it full. It prevents me from having a full blown outbreak and stops the itching and tingling. Good luck and I'm glad you found it!

Hi everyone! I've been a member here for a little over a year and wow it has been a whirlwind of emotion. I still have my good days and my bad days. I currently have an amazing boyfriend who accepts my herpes and all. :) There really are great people out there. If you ever need extra support or want to see that all people aren't so bad, you should do what I did last night. The Office on Netflix, Season 7-Episode 4-Sex Ed. Please spend 22 minutes watching this fabulous episode. I have had a secret crush on Ed Helms since The Hangover, but this completely sealed the deal. There are so many people out there that are ok with herpes and recognize the stupid stigma. Please watch it and see that there are people who do not care and that you are not alone. :) I promise you will feel better! Plus it is pretty hilarious! Cheers!

I feel like a letter would give them too much information. If you have trouble saying it, hand him a pamphlet or I gave him the information packet about herpes that the doctor gave me. It gave him an understanding what I was going to be talking about and I didn't have to give a huge explanation. he just knew. He can ask more questions later after he has processed everything.

Had you brought up the pain before? I had to do this and I started with, "Hey, you know that pain I told you about awhile back, well it didn't go away so I went to the doctor. I found out that it was herpes." (If you had a positive swab and a negative blood test, you got it within the past 6 months and that has it narrowed down. You can explain that. If your blood results were positive, you have to go back a bit further. You have to tell them anyway and if it was them, you can't force them to get tested, just bring copies of your test results and explain to them that you believe they gave it to you. They can choose whether or not they believe you. Good luck! Doing this was one of the hardest things I've ever done...practice on a friend first. It helps.

22 genital

Yay! Glad to hear it worked out!

@ihaveittoo1975 It stinks we can fear the unknown and the possibility of disclosing and being rejected by someone new can make us stay or settle for things we normally wouldn't. I wish you the best of luck in your situation and that we both can find happiness in whatever we decide. @wcsdancer2010 You're right. I need to do some serious thinking. All of these thoughts came to my head when he randomly texted me that he did not want to move to the city where I live. We are currently 900 miles apart. I really care about him, but I don't want to make him move here if I am the only reason. I am just too afraid of no one else accepting me.

From my understanding of the drug it is a "fake" copy of the virus that causes no symptoms to the consumer. It tricks the real virus into thinking that is has already produced enough copies of itself and prevents it from replicating to the point where you will have an outbreak.

My boyfriend does not have H and has had no symptoms of H so far and we've been together for 8 months. We always use condoms and I always try to shower or have him go down on me before we have sex. I don't know how that would help, but we do that. haha. I also make him wash off with soap and water sometimes after we have sex. I'm also on antivirals and I take ViraStop and use Melissa oil if I'm feeling a prodrome symptom. You'll come up with your own things you do to protect your partner and it will all be ok. :) Eventually when I get married I hope that he will be willing to not use condoms, until then I will always use them. To me marriage is for life so they should be more than ok to accept the 1% higher possibility of getting it. It sucks, but it doesn't hurt that bad physically.

I was off birth control and then I got back on it for awhile (4 months) and it caused me to have 2 outbreaks. I am now off the birth control completely. I was taking Microgestrin 1/20 FE. Condoms are great!

I have almost hit my one year mark of having H. It was very difficult at first, but I have accepted what it is and have a boyfriend who has also accepted me as well as my H. He is very supportive and if I ever have a bad day, he is always there to talk to me about it. We are currently in a long distance relationship which makes things hard. I have realized recently that we have some differences in what we want in life (he never wants kids, and I want them some day; he doesn't have career goals either; I currently make over twice the money he is making). I just don't feel like I have found the person who I can have all of my adventures I want out of life with. It makes things very hard because he is an amazing guy and he has accepted all of me and helped me so much through this process. I feel myself in this situation where I don't want to lose him because I don't feel like anyone else could accept all of me. That includes the herpes and all of the other self confidence issues that I have. Basically I want advice on this situation and has anyone else felt like they are trapped in a relationship because someone has accepted you? I also saw a picture of my ex who we broke up because of distance. He looks amazing and is doing everything he wants with his life. I am doing the same thing as far as my career, money, and the traveling I do. (I finally live in the mountains and make big bonuses (:) I have not told him about this in the few times that we talk. I plan on visiting him in South Africa when I go this spring and I'm really nervous. I feel like I might want/have to tell him. It is killing me today. We cared for each other so much, but I have a hard time believing he could ever care about me with H. I have cried many times thinking about that situation. I know I would have accepted him, but I feel like I'm blinded because we with H have more compassion for others than almost anyone. We live with this stigma that forces us to see the good in others despite almost anything. I am so grateful for it, but sometimes I wish I had this compassion without the H attached. Has anyone else reconnected with an ex since finding out they had H? I really need help today. :'(

I have almost hit my one year mark of having H. It was very difficult at first, but I have accepted what it is and have a boyfriend who has also accepted me as well as my H. He is very supportive and if I ever have a bad day, he is always there to talk to me about it. We are currently in a long distance relationship which makes things hard. I have realized recently that we have some differences in what we want in life (he never wants kids, and I want them some day; he doesn't have career goals either; I currently make over twice the money he is making). I just don't feel like I have found the person who I can have all of my adventures I want out of life with. It makes things very hard because he is an amazing guy and he has accepted all of me and helped me so much through this process. I feel myself in this situation where I don't want to lose him because I don't feel like anyone else could accept all of me. That includes the herpes and all of the other self confidence issues that I have. Basically I want advice on this situation and has anyone else felt like they are trapped in a relationship because someone has accepted you? I also saw a picture of my ex who we broke up because of distance. He looks amazing and is doing everything he wants with his life. I am doing the same thing as far as my career, money, and the traveling I do. (I finally live in the mountains and make big bonuses (:) I have not told him about this in the few times that we talk. I plan on visiting him in South Africa when I go this spring and I'm really nervous. I feel like I might want/have to tell him. It is killing me today. We cared for each other so much, but I have a hard time believing he could ever care about me with H. I have cried many times thinking about that situation. I know I would have accepted him, but I feel like I'm blinded because we with H have more compassion for others than almost anyone. We live with this stigma that forces us to see the good in others despite almost anything. I am so grateful for it, but sometimes I wish I had this compassion without the H attached. Has anyone else reconnected with an ex since finding out they had H? I really need help today. :'(

I'm gotten past the hurting part of being diagnosed with genital herpes. Now, I really want to help someone who is going through what I went through. Feel free to message me or we can meet up if you live close by. I am 23 and living in Boulder, CO. I really hope I can pay it forward!

I use Lysine, Virastop, and if I feel tingly down there, I use melissa oil mixed with lavendar oil and put it directly on the place my outbreaks occur and it stops them from coming.

Very very unlikely. Don't stress too much about it. :)

Hi everyone! I am so happy to say that I finally got out of the place where I got herpes! I got a new start with a new job and new people. It is amazing. Despite all of those great things, I still have herpes. I am now in Boulder, CO and really nervous about finding an OBGYN. Does anyone have any recommendations for a physician near the Boulder area. I am willing to travel to get someone good. And if anyone is in this area, I would love to meet up!

I have had herpes for six months now and I've had a huge realization. It is something that people might or might not have had yet. The fear of not being able to go back. Before this diagnosis, me, like many of you, had ex's or people you thought you might always end up with. Herpes changed everything. You couldn't be like "normal" people and hook up with your ex accidentally and then get mad about it later. Sex has to be something planned and carefully thought out now. Well for the most part, but if it's an ex-lover, you couldn't just say to hell with it. Herpes forces you to move forward with your life and to not dwell on people or things in your past. Living in the present and for the future can be an extremely difficult thing for people to manage. I struggle with it every day. There are other things in life that people dwell on and herpes forces people to not be able to, or the virus will literally consume you. I struggle with not living in the past every day. I believe there is a reason for why things happen to us and herpes might have saved me from going back into a bad relationship. I'm sure everyone here has had a similar experience. Feel free to share any insights or to elaborate on my thoughts. Thanks! Everyone here has been so supportive over these past 6 months and I can't wait to help someone else in the future! XXOO

I wouldn't do it as the night begins. I would wait until around the middle when you guys are alone and bring up something else vulnerable about yourself and ask him to reveal something also. Then say you have one more thing to tell him. Sharing things that both bring you closer will make this conversation go way smoother. Just have him be vulnerable too. I did this and I admit, my flaw was a bit bigger than his, but people see things differently. Good luck to you! He seems like he really cares for YOU and this should not get in the way. I promise after you tell him, you will feel like a new person! I know I did after I disclosed. :) XXOO

I feel the same way! I feel like having this has made me see the world in a completely different way. I'm less judgmental and I take way better care of myself.

Quick background story. I met a guy last summer at my summer job and I really got along with him. When I left said job, he asked me on a date. I said I wasn't ready because I had just gotten out of a relationship. I chatted on and off with him over the fall just as friends checking up. I got herpes in December and took all the way until April to go on a date. He had been asking me for a few months and I thought, what could it hurt? I went out on a date with him and it was perfect. We got along so well and our sarcastic and witty personalities meshed. We went on many dates and it was perfect. As soon as I knew we were starting to get more physical, I knew I had to disclose. I did it. I told him. It honestly was so freeing! I had no idea how I was going to do it, but it happened. I asked him if there was anything about him that not a lot of people know. He told me some little things, but I told him I had some things to tell. I talked a bit about my family and some issues there and I said there was one more thing he needed to know about me. I started freaking out a bit and said I couldn't say it. He told me that I didn't have to tell him if I didn't want to. I said that I had to actually, but it was very difficult for me to do it. I handed him the paper that the doctor had given me about herpes and told him before he read it that it was something that I couldn't change and that he could come get me after he read it. I left the room and went outside. (man I could have used a cigarette at that moment) I cried a few tears, but then I mustered up enough courage to go back inside. I came back in and he was happy I told him and knew how hard it was for me. He said it didn't change anything and that I'm the same person as I was before. I told him I didn't want this to be a defining part of our relationship so if he wanted to talk about it, to get it out now. We talked for about 30 minutes about it. I told him I would do everything I could to keep him safe. It was perfect. It's been about 2 weeks since I disclosed and things are perfect! I hope I can give other people some hope! It was tough, but you can do it! :)

I guess my anxiety is just getting to me. I feel like if I made a spontaneous trip to see him just to tell him this, it would make him think that it is a bigger deal than it should be. I'm just torn and worried that when he stays the night this weekend if he won't even want to stay if I tell him. How would you want a woman to start this conversation? I have thought about starting with "I really like you and I feel really comfortable with you and can see our relationship going further, because of these things I have to tell you something about myself that I cannot change. This yearh I was diagnosed with genital herpes. Do you know what that means?" What would you say after that? and he is a biochemistry major, so he obviously knows about the virus, etc. He honestly probably knows more about the science part than me. All I know is the transmission rates and the stories of other people. I am on suppressive therapy and have been since my first outbreak b/c of my past experience with other strains of the virus aka I have had shingles twice and am only 23.

I went and visited him this weekend and he really respects that I want to take things slow, but I am feeling a little guilty about not telling him why. Every time we lay by each other I just hug him for a long time b/c I get so scared he will leave when I tell him. He is a great guy and I always chicken out and give him an excuse why I won't let him touch me. I have had terrible anxiety about it and he asked me last night why I was shaking. I'm back at home now feeling guilty that I didn't tell him this weekend. Should I call and tell him? He is coming to visit me this weekend.

Hi Everyone! I met this guy last summer pre-herpes. He was interested in dating me then, but I was not emotionally ready b/c I had just ended a relationship. I have had almost a full year to heal from it and the one night stand in the middle left me with this virus. I have had the worst time dealing with it. Because I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac, I spend many hours trolling the internet trying to figure out why and how this happened to me and seeing if I can 100% prevent someone else from catching this from me. It did not help that one of my friends who is in med school who I told said that whoever I will date, will get it. I have been distraught. I have been talking and hanging out with this guy who has liked me since last summer and we are both wanting to start a relationship. There is a catch. He lives about 90 miles away from me. He is also still in school. I guess the thing I am wondering is if I tell him, will he reject me b/c he is so unsure the relationship will work out because of distance and timing of it all? Has anyone else started a long distance relationship with herpes? How do I tell him. I have been staying at his house and things have been mostly hands off. No sex, but I can tell he would like to. I'm 23.

I'm a 23 year old female living in Missouri. I've had H since 2 days before Christmas. It has been super tough for me. I would love to have someone to talk to about this. Even though I have told a few people who I trust, no one really understands. I do not know anyone else that has this. I feel alone.