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QueenB

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Everything posted by QueenB

  1. Hey! Umm, Just a bit of a different perspective… It is totally your prerogative to have casual sex!! I mean no offence to anyone when I say that TO ME, *PERSONAL OPINION*, the idea that as a woman, sex is something you allow a man to have or take from you is problematic at its very core. I personally believe that the idea that sex is something women provide to men who then owe them something perpetuates the (what I believe to be) harmful idea that women are not active participants in sex. It assumes that women do not want to have sex for purely physical benefit, furthering the gap between men and women that keeps M/F relationships inequitable and power dynamics skewed. … Get it girl. Now, in terms of your question, I don't know the answer. (Sorry!!) When I was first diagnosed with HSV II I immediately thought I was going to need to sit every one of my casual partners down and have a talk. When I mentioned my fears about this to my practitioner, she looked at me like "LOL!!" Basically, she told me that I have no responsibility to tell anyone about my diagnosis unless I want to. I asked her "Is that unethical?" and she said "That's a decision you have to make based on what you feel is right, but everyone who has casual sex - protected/unprotected, is taking a risk. You agree to that risk by agreeing to sex." She told me that using condoms (female condoms offer a bit more protection), and not having sex during active outbreaks were the most responsible things I could do. The reason I can't share my personal opinion on whether you should disclose to casual partners is because I haven't really decided how I feel about it yet myself! Sorry I can't be of more help there. I know most people feel that you should disclose to everyone, but I'm still on the fence. When I think about it, I think, "Would I want to know?" … probably. And then I think "If the transmission rates are THAT low… maybe not… maybe I'd rather just have fun!" I also think about the greater risk posed by the many people who have the virus without ever knowing it. What kind of thoughts do you have when you think about it? In your gut do you feel it's wrong not to disclose? Do you go back and forth? Sometimes I find it helpful to think of the Best Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario, and the Most Likely Scenario in a situation and write them down. Maybe walk through a one night stand and see where the disclosure convo would fit in and what the outcomes would be in a disclosure situation as well as a non disclosure situation. Like a 3-way pros and cons list! Keep us updated!! :) B
  2. Hehe, we don't pay for health care in Canada. I hear you! In my case, blood tests wouldn't come up positive yet anyways. Thanks for all your advice though, I appreciate it!!
  3. Thanks for all your help and advice!! Update: I went to the doctor again today, and she said there is no way they will do blood tests for HSV where I live. The only way they would do it is if I were sent to an infections specialist if I were having really really severe symptoms and needed very special attention and care. She also said that I need to relax and stop googling and driving myself crazy (lol) because she couldn't see any abnormalities when she examined me. This was a relief, but I still hate being in this limbo state!
  4. Thanks so much! In response to your question: I didn't use anything that might have caused an allergic reaction, however, the partner I was with was quite a bit more sizeable that I'm accustomed to, and the clinic practitioner I saw said that the sores did not look like blisters and may have been a result of inadequate lubrication/tearing. Unfortunately, it would take me months to get in to see an OBGYN, and blood tests for HSV aren't generally given where I live in Canada, I have asked. In order for my partner to be tested, he would need to experience an outbreak and have swabs taken. He has never had an outbreak, or any other noticeable HSV symptoms. I think I will try to be cautious and ride this out, keeping a close eye on my body and how it responds. Thanks again for the input - and I am open to more!!
  5. Hi everyone! I joined H opportunity under the assumption that I had HSV II - Now I'm not so sure. Any advice and info you guys could provide would be awesome - although I warn you, it's a complicated story: 16 days ago I had unprotected sex with a new partner. 2 days after that I noticed genital sores that were almost internal, but not quite. I went into a clinic and had swabs taken - the practitioner saw the sores and prescribed Valtrex - I took a 5-day course of the Valtrex. She also took swabs. The sores healed up within a few days and 6 days later I got news that my swabs had come back negative for HSV I and HSV II. Around this time I started experiencing extreme itchiness in a different location. I went to see 2 practitioners. The first said it looked like a simple skin irritation - no sores or blisters - she took more swabs just in case. Later the same day, I saw a different doctor who said "yeast" and prescribed a topical steroid and anti fungal medication. I have been using the topical medication for 7 days now. 2 days ago I started experiencing tingling sensations all over my genital area, but not in the area that sores were noticed. There are no sores or blisters developed in the area that tingles, and have been no sores since those noticed 14 days ago. My question is, I suppose, is how likely is it that I have HSV II, if swabs taken within 72 hours of sores developing came back negative? Also, how likely is it that these are prodrome symptoms? And finally, if I have sex using a condom while experiencing this tingling, how likely is it that I'm going to infect my male partner (provided that I have HSV II)? Any help you could give me would be very awesome. I can't tell if I OBVIOUSLY have HSV II and am just in denial or if I legitimately shouldn't be worried/stop having sex.
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