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Kanoa

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  1. I have been doing it all along, although somewhat irregularly (I do work/trades at studios because I can't afford the classes, but I've moved a lot in the last year so keep having to find new studios and it takes a bit to get everything arranged again). the last BAD outbreak I had (before this one) was a few months ago after doing bikram seven days in a row. This one came after doing hot yoga classes 1-2 times/day every day for two weeks, along with strenuous hiking each one of those days. Also, starting a couple weeks before that I've eliminated all of the high-arginine foods in my diet (beans, nuts, soy, seeds, oats, gluten, etc...also no sugar or processed foods) which was rather difficult because I'm vegetarian so those are my staples. But, I'm super over having monthly or bi-monthly outbreaks so decided to try it. (A few months ago I got an IUD as hormonal changes seem to be my biggest trigger... no periods now, but I still get the OBs, regular as clockwork. ick.) So needless to say it's been a reallyyyyyyy discouraging few weeks. Actually, discouraging year and a half. I feel like I've done some pretty radical things (changing my (already narrow) diet, getting the IUD, trying to stay super active and fit, etc) and none of it is working. I also take daily lysine and olive leaf. I'm a year and a half in -- I don't think I should have to be having OBs so frequently. I haven't woke up feeling "good" since before diagnosis and feel like no matter what I do, I can't get my immune system back up. I try so hard to stay positive and continue life "normally" but constantly fighting outbreaks for that long, despite trying to be so healthy, makes it really difficult.
  2. Hey everybody :) Hope y'all are doing well. I'm currently experiencing the worst OB since my primary (and I get them at least once a month since getting the herp 1.5 years ago) and trying to find out if there's any link between bikram or hot yoga and outbreaks. I know it wouldn't have anything to do with yoga itself, but am specifically trying to figure out if there's any correlation between the extreme heat/humidity somehow causing the virus to surface. Any ideas/thoughts/info? Mahalo :)
  3. What we think about ourselves becomes the truth for us. I believe that everyone, myself included, is responsible for everything in our lives, the best and the worst. Every thought we think is creating our future. Each one of us creates our experiences by our thoughts and our feelings. The thoughts we think and the words we speak create our experiences. We create the situations, and then we give our power away by blaming the other person for our frustration. No person, no place, and no thing has any power over us, for "we" are the only thinkers in it. When we create PEACE and HARMONY and BALANCE in our minds, we will find it in our lives. -louise hay
  4. Hi @ Beowy :) Welcome! I'm sorry this happened, but you're definitely gonna be okay. Anti-virals work best if started before an outbreak actually starts, so during the "prodrome" stage (the prodrome is just the signs your body gives when it's getting ready to have an OB. It can be different for everyone but typically involves tingling, burning, nerve pain, etc). They're less effective when started after an OB, but from my experience what you said (symptoms improving after 5 days on anti-viral) sounds about right. Sometimes that's how long it takes for mine to start to clear up, even if I start anti-virals a couple days early. The first outbreak can be longer than normal, too. It is possible that you could have had the virus in your system for years and never had an outbreak until now. Some people have outbreaks right away; with other people, herpes can hide away for years. 80% of people with it never know they have it. For some people, outbreaks are mild and attributed to other factors such as an ingrown hair or yeast infection. Sometimes there will be a triggering event (such as stress, trauma... or a tanning bed...) that cause a primary OB years after the initial "infection." You said you've had something similar in previous years -- those could have been minor outbreaks, and for some reason the tanning bed just triggered a more severe one. I know the sun (and sunburn) can be a trigger for people, so I assume a tanning bed would be a similar thing. I'm sure you're going through an enormous amount emotionally right now, but know that it is normal and okay -- allow yourself to feel every nasty bit of it. There's no way to get "around" it other than walking right through it. Embrace the shitty emotions so they can go on their way, and know that it WILL get better. I of course don't know the specifics of your relationship, but be encouraged by the fact that things don't necessarily have to change... there are plenty of people (and I'm sure you'll hear from lots of them on here!) that are with non-H partners and have been for years without transmitting it. Sending lots of love and sunshine (the non-triggering kind!) your way :)
  5. @LookingForAlaska I just use the wax strips you can get at walmart or anywhere... warm them up with my hands. You can get small ones or cut them into smaller pieces. Some of my friends have bfs/partners to help (we live in bikini land) which is nice, but it's definitely possible to do by yourself. Just keep the skin as taut as possible, to avoid ripping.... and don't let it scare you :)
  6. I wax myself (yep it's fun) and it's never caused an OB...and I have fairly frequent OBs, too. But waxing or shaving doesn't ever trigger them.
  7. for the birth control part... get an iud :)
  8. It's kinda crazy how something as simple as "going on a date" can make all of our insecurities come raging out :) I had the same thing happen a couple months ago so would just encourage you to be patient with yourself... date, don't date... doesn't really matter as long as you're doing what YOU want to do and what you feel comfortable with. There's no rush. As far as the baggage thing -- everybody's got a past. Everybody tends to think their past is a huge deal, no matter what it is. So your past may seem like a "huge" deal to some people, but to others (probably to most) it won't seem like that big of a deal at all. Remember that. There's no way to tell what someone's past is by simply looking at them, so you might look at a guy and think that he's got it all together and would reject you because of your past, but he could be thinking that his baggage is just as heavy as you are perceiving yours to be. Also, this is a great time to get to the "root" of what is causing these insecurities and deal with them once and for all... in my case, getting herpes magnified the (already significant) insecurities that were already there and has forced me to deal with them (which is definitely an ongoing process). Try to see this as a positive... you're going to come out on the other side even stronger (and thus more attractive) than you were before, even if in the middle of it all sometimes it seems like you can't see anything past the crazy (and negative) emotions of the present. Let yourself feel, let yourself grieve, but be kind to yourself and remember that herpes doesn't define you (unless you let it) and is only as big of a deal as you give it permission to be... and, life does and will go on.
  9. Olive leaf extract... works as an antiviral against all strains of herpes, as well as a good immune system enhancer
  10. @al123 -- Welcome! There's a great community here and I'm glad you found it :) As someone that this was done to who DID get herpes as a result -- I can say that it is betrayal to the core, in one of the biggest possible ways. I know that disclosing can be difficult, but there is NEVER a justification to take someone's right to choose away -- especially when it concerns their own body and health. I honestly don't know how trust could be rebuilt after this -- I am sure that it can and has been done, and I was willing to try with my ex, but it would definitely take a lot of time, effort, and authenticity. My ex lied to my face about it, and in his 3 years of having it had never disclosed to a partner. I see it as an act of selfishness even more than fear... putting someone else at risk to get what you want or to avoid your fear of being alone. I honestly thought that he loved me, but genuine love is about putting the other person's wellbeing and happiness above your own (within reason, of course) even if it means you don't get what you want. Basically, if you love something/someone, you wouldn't put them at risk without telling them. So, I learned the hard way that he did not actually "love" me, even though I'm sure he would still say he does. I learned a lot about love (and the lack of!) and what sort of it I want in my life through all of it. This might sound harsh... but ya, it is a big deal and I'd say your boyfriend's response is to be expected. But. You do realize you made a mistake, which is the very important first step, and you don't need to keep beating yourself up. We ALL make mistakes... its human :) Now you hope he didn't get it, genuinely apologize, acknowledge that you know you messed up pretty huge and ask his forgiveness... and then, regardless of his response, you need to grant yourself that forgiveness. A lack of forgiveness, whether it's toward someone else or yourself, is going to keep you "stuck" in a very not fun place! I would recommend being single for awhile. After reading what you wrote, I'm thinking that the person you should be focusing on and loving right now is YOU. Learn to accept yourself as beautiful, perfect, valuable, with heaps to offer -- just as you are. Let this experience be something that turns into a positive because it enables you to look inside, switch on the light, and embrace every aspect of yourself...the beautiful and the ugly. As long as you believe that you are unlovable because you have herpes, that is going to be reflected in your life. Get to a place where you are completely confident in yourself, not afraid to be alone, and where you don't need to be with someone in order to feel valuable. Your value comes from within, not from anything external... and because of that it isn't changed by anything external be it a skin condition, rejection, lack of a partner, etc. If we aren't completely confident and "in love" with ourselves, we're never going to be happy (or successful) in a relationship. I'd also suggest learning as much as you can about herpes, and you're in a great spot to be able to do that! There's a wealth of awesome information in this forum. You have a responsibility to yourself and to any potential partners down the road to be educated... and knowing all of the facts will help you feel confident next time you sit down with a partner to have that talk (a talk that will happen PRIOR to any sexy time, of course :) ) It's great that you haven't had another outbreak since your first, but it could still be transmitted at any time -- herpes can be pretty sneaky and you never know when it is shedding. Everything is going to be okay. Forgive yourself; use this situation and the feelings you are experiencing as a result to change how you go about this in the future. It's tough, but the whole disclosure thing can actually be something that you come to see as a positive -- great for determining a guy's true motives. Be willing to let your boyfriend go if that is what ends up happening, and focus on learning to love yourself... it can be a scary process, but also a lot of fun :)
  11. Peanut butter is one of the main staples of my diet and it doesn't effect my OBs in any way, thankfully... every person and their body are different. It's sort of a trial-and-error process to figure out what your personal triggers are.
  12. I take valtrex at night (when I'm taking it) because it can make me pretty crazy dizzy. I was on it daily for 4 months last year when I was with a non -H partner and had some nasty headaches, but the positives (0 outbreaks and a protected partner) outweighed the negatives for me. Currently I only take it when I have an OB. One other thing...if you drink much alcohol and plan to continue while taking it, be careful :)
  13. Hi @1auren, I can relate SO hard to what you are saying, it's almost as if I wrote it myself :) I have been feeling all of that crap quite a bit lately as I have tried to get back into the dating world, and it IS crap because it is not true in any way. I have sort of come to the conclusion that I'm not quite ready to date yet... more self-loving to do first. We are more than our herpes!!! What I have realized over the last several years of occasional good relationships and lots of not-so-good ones is that we attract whatever we feel about ourselves... so if I feel that I don't deserve a "good" person, that I'm going to be rejected, that by having herpes and dating someone I am "leading them on" or am lucky if they choose to be with me anyway, that's exactly what I'm going to attract. Ick. If, on the other hand, I am 116% strong and confident in my self-value and worth, believe that I have heaps to offer, have high standards, expect the best because I deserve the best, etc, then THAT is what I attract. Everyone has secrets; everyone has scars; everyone has a past. That is what makes us interesting (and human ;) ) For me, right now, I'm trying to just focus on building myself into an even stronger and healthier and whole-er (totally made that word up) person... falling in love with myself, basically. Waking up every morning and listing everything that is amazing about me. That might sound weird or slightly narcissistic, but... I can't fall in love in a healthy (ie non-codependent) way with anyone else until I'm secure and in love with myself. And, THAT is a very attractive quality... I know that because it's one of the things I am most attracted to in another guy or girl. Hugs!!
  14. Question... say you're always attracted to the "bad" guys and there is always crazy chemistry there, like what @misskellyrenee is describing with her ex, but you want to change that pattern and find a "good" guy... How do you figure out if you're not interested in a new person because there's just no chemistry (ie it's not gonna change) or because he's not your usual (bad boy) type and thus seems boring or sort of lackluster?
  15. Has anyone here (either h+ or h-) been on the receiving end of a disclosure? I'd just like to hear some thoughts from the perspective of a person who has been on that side of things. I've never been disclosed to (I was blatantly lied to by my gifter) and there's been lots of discussions here about how to go about disclosing to someone... it's obviously a pretty huge thing to the person disclosing... but I'm curious what are the thought processes of the other person, and the feelings about the timing of a disclosure?
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