beachluvr

I have H2 genitally for almost 4 years now. I've been able to keep it under control with daily antivirals until recently. In mid-May I had surgery to remove my left thyroid due to a large mass. It seems like about two weeks after my surgery, I've had back to back outbreaks. I only get one bump but as soon as that one starts to clear up, then another appears and in a place that I've never had them before. I never use to get them inside, always on the outside. These are on the inside of my right "lip" (I know that's not the proper term but you know what I mean). Does anyone know if thyroid plays a part in hormones and can effect outbreaks? I've had my blood work done and the doctor said my remaining thyroid is functioning properly and my levels are good but I'm just not feeling right since the surgery. My boyfriend is very understanding, thankfully, when it comes to the intimacy part and not being able to be close with him. He can't perform with condoms so he chooses to not use them but we have not been intimate while I am going through outbreaks. We just recently got back together and now this...ugh! I think a phone call to the doctor is happening soon but I wanted to see if anyone else may have had this issue. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

@Ashley...Your story and experience in life so far touched me. I believe out of all the posts I've read on here, you are by far one of the strongest and positive women on here. I wish you the best with your disclosure and I'm sure he will be accepting of it and hope the cancer is gone for good. Thank you for sharing. @Timbbey...In time you will get to a better place with H and will be more accepting. I think once you accept it, it's much easier to manage and to go on in life. There are days that I don't even think about it anymore and if I do, I don't let it worry me. I will not let a virus control my life, take the fun out of my days, and not let me smile and laugh and be happy. Ashley's story is one of strength, courage, acceptance, struggles, survival and she has made it even with H. I hope that one day you will get to that place. Once you do, you will look back and see it's really not that bad.

@Timbbey...I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I was first diagnosed. I felt dirty, ashamed, like no one would every want to touch me, that my sex life was over. None of that is true. I will never forget that night when the doctor called me and told me I was +. I was sitting in my car outside the restaurant my daughter and I had just ate at. I felt like throwing up, I cried in my car for 30 minutes and was devastated because I had just stated seeing someone new and the thought of having to tell him was so painful. I actually thought of driving into a tree that night on my way home because I was so emotional. Then I realized that I knew nothing about this, that I needed to look into it and see how to handle it. I'm glad I did. Once I educated myself and learned it really isn't as bad as it's made out to be, is when I was able to come to terms and accept it. Yes, it sucks. It's here to stay unless one of these companies is able to find the cure they have been working on. I am hopeful that I will see one within my lifetime. You need to stay positive, learn about it so that you can educate future partners. Don't think that you will never have intimacy again. You will!! Disclosing is very scary but it's something that needs to be done. I've had two very successful disclosures and I think it's because I was able to educate them and answer their questions so they felt like they could trust me. Life is not over just because we have a flaw. We are not perfect, we can still live, have fun, wake up each morning, go to work, see family/friends. Don't let H control your life and that's what you are doing. Don't let negativity take over. Take control, laugh, love, and be happy!

@Chinup....You are very welcome and thank you for your concern about my coworkers. It's very sad. That was my whole point in writing this....to make someone feel better about H. Makes me happy that I did. Once you come to terms with it, it's easier to move forward. I still get OB's from time to time but always remember.....Shake it Off.

I agree, there are for more scary things out there, especially now. My daughter works in the health field and they just had a meeting yesterday on the Ebola thing and it's something very serious. She was told what symptoms to look for, how they think it's contracted and are now having to wear special uniforms to deal with patients because they just don't know where people have been. HIV seems minor compared to this. At least with HIV there are drugs and they are aware of how to control it. Ebola is a whole different story. @WCSDancer2010... I agree. There are people out there who don't have the normalcy of life anymore but have managed to cope so that they can still enjoy it. There are parents out there who basically live at hospitals because they have very sick children. My coworker is a part time massage therapist on the side and she has a client who cannot walk, talk, and is not always aware of who people are but every time she goes to massage him, he has the biggest smile on his face. She said when she sees his smile it brightens her day makes her realize just how lucky she is and she, too, has her own health issues but doesn't let things get her down. Let's see..Ebola, Cancer or H? Hmm, I know which one I'm picking. H isn't so bad now compared to all this. @havefaith427....you are exactly right. US H+ PEEPS WILL BE JUST FINE!! So for those of you still having a hard time with H.....next time H pays a visit, just shake it off (as Taylor Swift would say) because you're going to be just fine!!

It's been a year since I got the news I was H2+. It hasn't been so bad for me, very mild, and I've had two successful disclosures which totally surprised me. I've educated myself about H but I still have questions from time to time and I read this forum daily and I love it! I enjoy the laughs from some of your posts, the tears I have shed with some of the wonderful stories, the heartbreak for what some of you went through. I know some of you have had a hard time coping with this. I just want those of you who feel like it's the end of the world to look at things differently. I know it's a total shock, it was to me, but things could be much worse as I'm about to tell you. I have a few coworkers who were diagnosed with cancer in the last year. One guy had lymphoma and was out for 6 months and just recently came back and is doing well so far and we all pray he will continue doing well. My other coworker was diagnosed with breast cancer in one breast and chose to have a double mastectomy because she didn't want to have to go through everything all over again if it showed in the other. She came back to work 2 months ago and her spirits were slowly getting lifted and she was able to laugh and smile again. Her hair was growing back and she looked adorable. We were so happy for her. She came down with a dry cough that would not go away. She went to the doctor and the cancer has spread into her lungs, shoulder, and liver. We are all devastated for her. Another coworker just went out for surgery this past Monday because they found cancer on her pancreas. It's very sad and I think about them every day. My point in writing this is to sit back and look at yourself and be thankful for the things you have in your life....family, friends, good job, health (despite the good ol' H). You are able to wake up each morning and do the things you enjoy, spend time with the ones you love, lead a normal life. My coworkers wake up every day wondering if the cancer will return, if they will be back in the hospital sick again, wondering if/when this disease will take them from their loved ones. It's very scary for them. So next time you feel down about H, just remember there are people out there who are far worse off than us. H is just a skin condition that will cause some discomfort from time to time but will not slowly kill you or take you from your loved ones. Educating yourself, being aware and cautious, you will find it's not that bad and you can manage it and you will find the right people who will accept you unconditionally. Wake up each morning and be thankful for what you have and that you are not going through what some of my coworkers/friends are. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.. LIVE each day like it's your last, LAUGH at the little things in life and share it with others, LOVE yourself most of all and share that love with those around you. This is one of my favorite sayings and it's so true. We've all been through crap in life, hit some speed bumps, but it's not the end of the world. Get out there and live your life and don't let H bring you down.

@seeker....I take Zyrtec daily for my allergies and have not had an issue with OB. My OB which have been a few are very minor and I really don't think the allergy meds have any effect on OBs. I also take 500 mg. of Valacyclovir for daily suppression and no issues with taking the meds together either. I think you will be fine with your allergy meds. I'd rather take the allergy meds to cut down on the allergy symptoms so that my immune system stays stronger and doesn't allow my body to get weak and run down to avoid H from taking the upper hand.

Hello all... I've heard conflicting information on this. Is it possible to get an OB on both sides of your body at the same time? I'm not sure if I'm going through an OB now or not. OB seemed to be under control for the past several months but the past few days my back has been bothering me on the right side and I woke up with bumps on my butt cheeks....3 small ones (not in a cluster but about an inch apart) just outside my butt crack on my left cheek and 2 small ones about 2 inches apart in the middle of my right one. They are not painful unless I pick at them. No prodrome symptoms at all. I have had prodrome in the past but never got an OB. This time bumps with no prodrome. I have noticed that since getting H that my skin seems to be much more sensitive now. If I work out at the gym and sweat and don't shower when I get home, I wind up getting bumps within a day or two and irritated but I don't think it's an OB because it's not painful. So I always make sure to shower when I get home from the gym. Has anyone else experienced sensitive skin since acquiring H? Thanks and hope everyone is having a great day.

Well I finally took the leap and disclosed to a wonderful person. We have been seeing each other for several weeks, spending a lot of time together and he's stayed the weekends a few times. He came over Saturday night and we had a great time. He stayed the night and we were laying in bed just cuddling and talking and I knew he wanted more (so did I). He began doing things and I told him that I couldn't and the tears started welling up in my eyes and he knew something was wrong. He said that we didn't have to do anything but I knew we both wanted to. I told him that I needed to be upfront and honest with him about something very personal and he said that I could tell him anything and that he would never judge me. I was scared to say it. The words were on the tip of my tongue like hanging there but nothing was coming out. I had practiced this speech over and over in my head but it was like I turned into a mute. He stroked my hair and kissed me and told me that it wouldn't change anything between us. He even said that he had a secret that he would share with me first to make it easier for me. He shared his secret and I knew how hard that was for him and he made me feel so comfortable so I knew I had to share mine. He laid there holding me, kissing my forehead, and wiping away my tears as I told him about H. He listened and told me how sorry he was that I was lied to and used by the last guy and that I had gotten this. He said it didn't change a thing, that I was a beautiful, strong person, and that he was so glad that he met me, and appreciated my honesty. He held my face in his hands and looked into my eyes and told me that I was beautiful and kissed me long and passionately and he made me feel appreciated, accepted, and normal again. After the great kiss, he said, "Here I thought you were going to tell me that you use to be a man and that I couldn't handle". Well we both just started laughing and it felt so good telling him and not being afraid anymore and laughing with him. He is the first guy that I have been with sexually since my diagnosis in December and it felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders as he was the first guy that I have disclosed to. I had dated a few but we never were intimate beyond just being affectionate and I never felt comfortable enough to share something that personal with them. He has been so wonderful and I feel that we were meant to meet. I'm helping him through a rough patch in his life and he's made me see that there are still wonderful men out there who are honest, respectful, sincere, and non-judgmental and just aren't looking for a piece. It's just a shame that he will be going back home possibly in March but I am going to enjoy every minute I can with this awesome guy. Just had to share with all of you.

I had a very similar experience a few weeks ago. I met someone on a dating site. He seemed like a great guy; very professional, funny, easy to talk to, is a Realtor and we talked about real estate since I'm sort of in the same field, etc. We had several phone conversations and made arrangements to meet for lunch. He called me at work the day before we were suppose to meet and we chatted a while. He proceeds to tell me that he and his friends are joksters and play jokes on each other a lot. He said he played a joke on his friend and had a female friend of his call and say she was from a doctor's office and they had a patient in there who tested positive for an STD and that she named him as one of her sex partners. He said he let his friend suffer for 24 hours before finally telling him it was a joke. My heart sank when he told me that. I was hurt, pissed, and just plain not feeling him anymore. Here I'm thinking he sounds like a great guy and then that! What an ass! The day of our date, I called to tell him I had to reschedule due to personal reasons and he was very understanding and has even text to ask when we are getting together because he really wants to meet me. I am not feeling it anymore. I wanted to just blast him and tell him that is not something to joke about, that things happen because people are uneducated, that no one is perfect, and that I even have one. But I didn't. The more I thought about it the more pissed I got. I was not going to tell someone I didn't feel comfortable telling, someone that I didn't know if I could trust, and was not going to disclose for the first time this way....to someone who thinks of it as a joke because he obviously wasn't, in my opinion, going to be accepting of it. It's a shame because other than that, he seemed like a great guy.

@DecievedAndDealing I know how you feel. I was feeling the same way when I was first diagnosed back in December. I contracted it in October; this was a Christmas gift from someone I dated..ugh. I felt hopeless, damaged, unloved, disgusted, etc. I'm 48 and dating is hard enough these days to find a good man let alone without having to worry about dropping the H bomb on someone you meet and like. What helped me was getting on this site. Listening to the stories, getting support from others, watching the videos from Adrial and Dr. Leone and learning about H. I've read two books and I think the knowing and understanding the do's and don'ts of H has helped me a lot. Yes, it's a "lil monster" we will never get rid of (hopefully one day there will be a cure) but that doesn't mean we give up being who we are. Just because we have a skin condition doesn't mean we are not loveable, caring, fun, good people. We are just people with another flaw..no one is perfect. My outlook has changed a lot with regards to this virus and I'm not going to let it stop me from living life, meeting people, smiling, laughing, spending time with friends, and being ME. I've accepted it and come to terms with it. I take daily suppressive meds, vitamins, eat better and my OBs are only one small bump once in a while (HSV2). Learn what you can about it, ask questions on here, get whatever support you need to help you get to a point where you can understand and accept it. H is a gift that none of us wanted but life is a gift that we need to enjoy, share, live, and experience. Don't let H take that away. Hugs

Hello there. I've often wondered that too. I haven't read anything from people on here who are in discordant relationships that are taking daily Valtrex and being careful during OB's, if they have passed it onto their partner. I know the transmission rate is very low (1-2%) with suppressive meds, condoms, and no sex during OBs but I'm curious to know as well.

@BMShas...thanks for sharing. I try to keep up to date on recent vaccine research; I find it interesting. Any news is good news to me. Do I put my life on hold holding out for a cure? Of course not. It just shows that H+ people are not being forgotten. It shows that companies/people are actively trying to come up with something to help us who have it and to prevent those from even getting this little monster. Any little bit of hope is great and I know we all are hoping for that light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, live life to the fullest, smile, laugh, love and enjoy each day you're given because you just never know when it will be taken away. Thanks again for sharing.

I know tanning/sun can cause a herpes outbreak in some people. I've heard it's worse for people with HSV-1. Has anyone with HSV-2 had an outbreak from the sun or a tanning bed? I miss tanning and am afraid to go because I don't want to cause an outbreak. It's summer and I need some color; I'm looking like Casper's sister when I'm usually tan right about now.

Take it from me, things will get better for you. I was in an abusive relationship with my daughter's father on and off for 15 years. He was my first boyfriend, my first sexual experience. I thought I was in love but it wasn't. I thought he loved me, but he didn't. I stayed just to have someone and that isn't a reason to stay. He physically, emotionally, and financially abused me. I was the one who worked, paid the bills, gave him money, took care of him, I never got Xmas or birthday presents. All I got was pain, heartache, misery, abuse. He was into drugs/drinking which got worse. I stayed with him through treatment centers but he was always court ordered to go which never worked because he wasn't ready to change. Then the abuse started. He kicked me when I was pregnant, hit me, and I stayed. I would always hear, "No one will ever love you like I do", or "No one will ever want you because you're used", or "I'm sorry and won't do it again". Well again always came. He began cheating with a married woman and the abuse got worse. It was to the point where he made me sleep in bed with him with a shot gun between us and at one point he punched me and drug me through broken glass and pointed a gun at me and said he was going to kill me before he killed himself. That was it for me! I stood up to him and said, "You better not miss". He left me alone that night and the next day I went to the police and pressed charges. I know a lot of it was the drugs but I was not going to live my life nor have my daughter be put through that. She witnessed him hitting me once and I swore I would never let that happen again and I haven't! I needed to protect myself and her. I left him 17 years ago and I went through a year of counseling and it was the best thing I ever did. I regained my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth and became a much stronger person. My daughter is now 22 years old and is the best child I could ever ask for. Her and I have the strongest bond ever, she's my best friend. She's in college in the medical field and has straight A's. I have my own house, work for the government, and I feel that what I went through was meant to be. It made me who I am today...a stonger woman. As far as H, (I hate saying Herpes, so I refer to it as H..lol) I date but am not in a serious relationship. It has made me slow down and be more cautious and to make me see that I have value and to not allow men to take advantage of me or to allow them just to get in my pants. They have to want to be with ME, to show me that I matter to them and not just for a roll in the sack. I was diagnosed in December and was lied to by the guy who gave it to me in October. I trusted him and he wasn't what I thought. So H has made me see things in a different light. Yes, it's scary at times with the dating thing and having to disclose. I am spending time with someone but I don't get to see him as much as I'd like to because of his work schedule and he has custody of his two kids so it makes it hard. We have not had sex but have snuggled and done things that will not put him at risk; he does not know my status yet so I make sure certain things don't happen until I tell him. Once I feel the time is right, I will disclose which is going to be very soon. Rape, control, abuse is NOT love. One-sided relationships are NOT love. If you're putting in 110% and getting nothing in return, that's NOT love. Do not ever allow someone to take advantage of you in any way. Don't ever stay just to have someone. Don't stay just because you feel H will keep you from moving on with your life. Yes, H may be a speed bump but I think it's meant to slow us down and to have us take a long look at ourselves and the people we bring into our lives. The ones who are of value will be the ones to stay. As Herry said, please get some counseling. I promise you it will be life changing and you will be so glad you did. You will get through this, you will become stronger, and you will find love. The first step is to love and value YOU. Yo can do this!!! If you ever need to talk, let me know. Lots of Hugs!!!