Jump to content

JustCurios

Members
  • Posts

    11
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by JustCurios

  1. WCS, I guess...I'm in denial. As well as because I'm prone to blaming myself for issues I'm not sure if there's anything that I can do to remedy the situation. He has some really great qualities that I've never experienced in a guy before, but also his level of maturity and my level of maturation are of obvious calibers. I also feel like he gives off the vibe that he's ready for a relationship when in reality he is extremely emotionally unavailable and is just looking for a great time.
  2. The guy I've been dating who I thought I contracted HSV-1 cold sores from is a bit on the immature side. After going to the doctor and having my blood drawn I'm awaiting now on test results to see if I had the HSV-1 strain inside me prior to the encounter with him. While doing this, I joined this forum and learned so much information on the virus, how to be safe, and how to disclose. Despite whether I have the virus or not, whether I have an outbreak or not, I still value the information that I learned and feel as though now I can help to dissipate the stigma that's attached to this common skin condition. My best friend has outbreaks once a year around the same time. She thought that the annual cold sores that she got was attributed solely to the cold weather. I printed out a handout for her and explained to her that temperature change could be a trigger to her cold sores that awakens the virus. She read the pamphlet, felt a little shocked that SOO many people had herpes (and that she did too), and thanked me for opening up the door to her about this minor annoyance of a condition. Although she has been dealing with the virus since she was 9, I felt the need to tell her this information because I thought perhaps it would help to add to the knowledge that she already had: for example she was unaware that after touching your cold sore you should wash your hands before touching anyone/anything else, she had no idea that cold sores were THAT contagious. But she isn't the problem; the problem is the guy I've been seeing. I know everyone reacts to things differently but it seems as though he is too immature for..well...anything. After having the SAME talk with him that I had with my best friend, he didn't seem to care much at all about the virus, even though he too has been getting them since he was young. However, because our relationship is of a different nature I asked him if he would ever consider starting suppressive medication, and using topical ointments (when he experiences prodrome) so that we can both be healthy and safe. He responded and told ME to get educated, told me that "cold sores are not Herpes, they're just a strain of herpes. it's not that big-a-deal." I felt livid because I had literally felt like I had gone through a shit-storm with wondering if I had contracted this virus from him, and the fact that he was so chill when it came to both of our health's combined gave me serious red flags in my gut. Unrelated to the herpes issue there are so many red flags that I receive from this guy. He has said MANY times that he's the type of guy where he feels like things should be handed to him, even though he knows its unrealistic. We haven't even been dating that long and his immaturity has caused us to have "talks" almost every other time that we're together. He thinks that I'm being "controlling" every time I approach him with serious matters, because he likes to tune out serious things and wants everyone to be happy instead. He will constantly cut people off in conversation and start to talk about himself when the conversation gets "too serious" for him. Controlling, in his point of view, could range anywhere from me talking about something that he did that made me feel very uncomfortable, to me asking him to please, please lower his voice in public when we talk about *personal* things. The only time I've seen him being serious was when I freaked out about "cold sores being herpes" back when I didn't understand the virus so much, and he ran to the clinic because he was worried *mostly about himself*. There's a lot that I feel like relationships take from both people. I'm nearly 20, I'm a great student, and a hard-working employee. When him and I first began talking, my interest in him plummeted significantly after being called by him 3-4 times a day and receiving 5+ texts a day from him; after the cold sore situation I expected him to become more serious with his attitude when it comes to important things, especially because I had made the decision that I wasn't going to let the virus define who he was in my eyes. I've also given him more time out of my life because I know it's unfair to be so busy while you're trying to cultivate a relationship with someone. We've had some major setbacks, from him asking me to *lose weight* (I'm 5'7 and I weigh 130) even though we had JUST started dating, and later apologizing like mad and blaming it on his "lack of a filter"; to me telling him that my name is "Loren" and that I truly do prefer "Lori" and him calling me "Ren" because he says "he prefers that better than Lori and to please not fight him about what he calls me" regardless of how uncomfortable, and unused to that nickname that I am. And look, I understand that Herpes shouldn't control your life, but the unwillingness to take it, or anything else, seriously when it regards yours and someone's health, is unacceptable. I'm sorry for the long rant but I am absolutely mentally and emotionally exhausted. I feel like I have to be "mommy" and that step by step it feels like I'm teaching this man how to be courteous of other people, and that just because things don't go your way doesn't mean things are "ruined". It's like he doesn't get it, and everything feels like a big joke to him! Last night he called me and asked me to help him with his paper that he had a week to do, even though he KNOWS that I have 200 pages of articles to read between classes! So, guys and gals, as someone who might be H-, who is trying to work it out with someone who is H+, what do you suggest? AM I doing something wrong here? Or is this just simply not meant to be... Thanks for reading. JC
  3. @thisisgoingtobeokay thank you so much, I've been wanting to see my doctor but I'm afraid that because I have no noticeable symptoms she will turn me away.
  4. I was exposed to he virus 5 days ago and after freaking out the first two days, I've left my bottom lip alone, and I'm experiencing now tingling, and itching in one spot on my bottom lip. I read that prodrome lasts a few hours to a day max before the cold sore appears, but it's been 5 days straight and I'm constantly experiencing this burning and itching sensation. Is it possible to go through prodrom without any cold sores arising? How long does this last before a cold sore arises?
  5. Ra, thanks for the info. After coming into contact with the virus I got a cold however the symptoms lasted only a day. I have yet to have an OB and its been 5 days since contact with the virus. Ive felt itchiness and tingling on my lip and have been applying abreva about 3-5 times a day but I dont visually see any OB. At this point I'm not sure what's going on.
  6. Thank you all so much. I will update with further news.
  7. I haven't gotten the blister yet but the tingling sensation feels like one is coming on. I read on the abreva container that it said the moment you feel tingling to apply the product. The problem is, I don't know where to apply it to because everything tingles.
  8. Hi all. I posted previously about wondering if I had oral herpes HSV1 and how I believe I contracted it. Today, marking the third day since coming in contact with the virus, I have noticed various tingling sensations all over my lips both top and bottom. After using my abreva and applying it evenly all over my lips, I felt an uncomfortable burning sensation. I'm also experiencing extreme lip shedding and constant dryness. This is a very uncomfortable situation to be in and I'm especially worried because I have work tomorrow and I've never had a cold sore before. Is it possible to be afflicted with two or more cold sores on one site? Will I look like those people on google whose entire lips are inflamed with cold sores? What are ways that I can hide these sores so that I don't feel sensitive about it? Please help, I'm so scared...
  9. Lelani, you have comforted me on so many levels. The whole "watching for symptoms" thing has been happening to me for the last two days. I went out to the store yesterday after work and bought some abreva and have been applying it. I don't know if I've been doing it correctly: the back said to apply if i feel any tingle, burning, tightness or itching. Before all this, I was used to applying Chapstick to my lips on a regular basis and without applying it my lips would burn so much. I didn't want to apply any other product with abreva so I've been using the abreva raw on my lips. I say all this to say, the burning that I feel could be due to my frequent Chapstick usage prior to this whole ordeal. Or it could be because I have contracted the virus. I also read that a fever is a precursor to a first outbreak. I rarely get sick anymore but I've been sneezing and coughing like crazy recently. I'm from New York so we've just suffered 3 snow storms, none of which I wore a hat during. It could be that I've caught a cold, or once again, that I've contracted the virus. As someone who has never been sexually active before, all of these "could be's" and "maybe's" get terribly confusing and terribly frightening. My best friend who suffers from cold sores on a regular basis (every few months) has no idea that her cold sores are oral herpes. There's so much that we don't know and I wish I knew more to educate myself and others. I want to continue seeing this guy: he's not "a guy with herpes that I like", he's just "a guy that I like". His disease shouldn't define him. And chances are, if you're correct Lelani, and I haven't even contracted it, I've probably at least been exposed to it. So, what are some smart decisions that I should make in regards to being affectionate towards him? And, if in the long run, I decide to become intimate with him? Also, I read that incubation is anywhere from 2-20 days. For me this is day 3 (since the ordeal happened this Friday). He said he got his right away after sharing food with one of his buddies. Would I have started seeing signs by now? Sorry for the long post. Thanks so much for answering it (whoever answers this) :) -JC
  10. Hi all. I'm a college sophomore who has taken a long break from dating to focus on my studies. This semester I met a really nice guy who offered to take me out. Eventually I agreed, we met up, and the date was a success. We were at the movies, it was dark when we met up, and midway through the movie he kissed me without my permission, but I thought it was kind of sweet at the time until after leaving the theatre I saw that he had a cold sore on the very side of his lip. It was scabbing over, and not terribly big, but I of course being ignorant to cold sores (never having one in my life) freaked out. After the date I rushed home and did so much research and had tears in my eyes when I read that I might have contracted oral herpes. The date occurred this Friday, how long does it usually take for cold sores to appear? Do you always get cold sores from kissing someone who has them, or is it a case by case basis? Where should I go from here?
×
×
  • Create New...