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Hopefully this isn't too much information. I know no one is a doctor I'm just looking for someone who's experienced something similar and can offer some insight. Basically, was diagnosed with hsv1 about 5 years ago. Was diagnosed with HPV last year. I have a wonderful partner who loves me and is unfazed by my diagnosis. We have been together for 2 years now. We have unprotected sex; I am on valtrex daily and rarely have outbreaks unless we have very rough sex or I'm not "warmed up". In the past year or so I have noticed a "growth" in my vagina, (don't know how else to describe it) which is bumpy and very tender. It's hard to describe. Certain positions are uncomfortable and it slightly burns when I touch it. I went to Planned Parenthood and two different practitioners looked at it and told me it was "just my anatomy" but I can't ignore it. It doesn't hurt like crazy and I usually forget about it but I can't help but think it's something more... I don't remember it always being there. I am wondering if it could be some kind of permanent herpes lesion? Forgive me if this all sounds ridiculous I just don't know how to describe it or where to go from there. I tested negative for all other STDS last time I was in. They told me it definitely wasn't cancerous... Anyone else experience something similar? Or can offer some advice?

Hi all. I have HSV1 genitally, and never have symptoms unless I'm having regular sex, which is of course infuriating. In the past I never took medication unless I was having an outbreak, which hardly ever happened. Now that I'm in a relationship I started taking Valcyclovir daily for suppression, for my boyfriend's sake. We are long distance so I will go from not having sex for a few months to having sex constantly for a week , and repeat. Inevitably I break out badly after the first 4 or so days of having sex again. I'm wondering if I should go off the daily suppression dosage since it's not doing anything anyhow, or whether these post-sex outbreaks are just something I have to live with... I feel like there has to be a way to manage this better! Any suggestions or shared experiences are most welcome...thanks!!

Hi! I'm a 23 year old female, just for some demographic. This one's been eating at me for months now. Started seeing someone long distance, we'd chat on the phone for hours and I really liked him but he was far and I didn't know what to expect. He came to visit me, we connected in a crazy way and had a great 5 days together, no sex. He was very respectful and didn't push it. I felt I had several opportunities to tell him, work it into the conversation in a graceful way, and of course I let them pass. He left, and we were talking more than ever. A month later I went to his family's beach house for a weekend to see him again. I felt strongly that I had to tell him this time, because a) it felt like a face-to-face conversation and I didn't know when I'd see him again, and b) things were progressing towards a place of working each other into our futures and I started feeling like I was leading him on or "tricking him" by not telling him (the mind will do crazy things to us..) Anyways, it was a unique situation because we had logged so much phone time that we felt super comfortable with each other and felt as if we had been dating for much longer, but in reality we had only spent a total of 7 days together? So in my mind, I kept reminding myself that this was still new, that it was too soon...combined with, "this is progressing quickly and seriously, I need to tell him" By the time I got down there I knew I couldn't do it... we were with his family almost constantly and the little amount of time we did have alone, I didn't want to ruin. Avoiding sex was AWFUL and insanely difficult. Felt like I was back in high school. I was quiet almost the whole trip. I left without telling him. It's a week later, and I finally worked up the guts last night to tell him on the phone. The conversation had turned to learning lessons, about life offering us the same lesson in different manifestations. I brought up the releasing of attachment to the physical body, and told him about being with the guy who gave this to me, and my experience with that, what I learned, and then moved onto explaining that I felt it was time to tell him and that was why I couldn't sleep with him last weekend. The first thing he asked was "What was it like to tell me that? How do you feel?" and matter-of-factly assured me that it did NOT change how he thinks of me or wanting to be with me. Even brought up wanting to go down on me in the same sentence. I told him that was sweet but he should digest the information first, and that I would understand ANY feelings he had regarding the topic, that I was an open book if he had any questions. He told me he thought I was brave for telling him "out of context" (as in, not when things were hot and heavy) and thanked me for trusting him enough to tell him and that he hoped I felt better having that off my chest. We left the topic for some time and revisited it later, I probably spewed out some statistics, he mentioned getting cold sores occasionally (I'm type 1) and basically summed up that he thinks we're fine. He said he doesn't use condoms and that it's been awhile since he's been tested and that, even though he's never had a close call, he's going to do that before we're together. Just wanted to share another successful disclosure in hopes to encourage those of you who are feeling blue and unsure to speak TRUE to what's in your heart, be honest and raw with yourself and with others. The relinquishment of control will bring good things :) I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

Haven't been on here in awhile! I'm finding myself in a situation that is new and uncharted for me.. About 2-3 months ago a guy I knew through a mutual friend and I struck up communications again. He lives out west, I live on the east coast. Progressively we started chatting on the phone and texting, etc. He came to visit me last week, we had a blast, connected in an awesome way.. slept in the same bed, snuggled etc. No sex, no pressure. I really like him, I know he feels the same. He has been an open book with me, no games, very up-front and respectful. The next time I see him will be in a month, just for a night at a family party, and I had originally planned on disclosing to him then. Partially because I trust him, partially because I want to have sex with him and be intimate with him. However, I just got off the phone with my mom who STRONGLY swayed me in the opposite direction, telling me I should hold out and not "ruin the day" by telling him. She also said it might discourage him from wanting to be with me, particularly with the long distance factor. She thinks I should wait to disclose/have sex until/if things get serious and we decide to move to the same place and be close to one another. I totally see what shes saying, but it greatly upset me and sort of shifted me into the mindset that yes, he probably will reject me. Guess I'm half venting and half asking for advice from anyone who's dealt with a similar situation?

Hey y'all... I've been working on a grass-fed dairy farm for the past few months and have been drinking raw milk regularly, which is said to have anti-viral properties, amongst many other awesome benefits. Haven't had symptoms since, (despite sweating a ton and not showering as regularly as I probably should) knock-on-wood. Wanted to toss that your way

had unprotected sex last night with a man 20+ years my senior and did not disclose. I knew what I was doing despite being drunk. Never thought I'd do this.

the self-doubt, fear, shrinking back into my shell... it's all coming back, and it's a total overreaction. I am going out with a guy tomorrow who I don't feel wild about but he's attractive and sweet, and already I'm worrying about having the talk. It's been almost a year and a half since I've dated or had to think about this and it's scaring the hell out of me. It's like any self work that I've done is draining away and I'm left with this feeling of walking off the plank or something. I feel like I always dance around the idea of a person, I flirt, I'm charming, whatever, and then as soon as something substantial happens I run away from it. grrr

Hey all- I was with a friend who was getting inked a few weeks ago and they asked her to sign a form agreeing that she didn't carry any communicable diseases, which got me thinking.... is this going to be an issue for me? I plan on getting tattooed soon. From what I've read I'm gathering the issue lies more with Hepatitis but I wanted to be sure and see if anyone on here has any input.

http://www.rebellesociety.com/2012/11/08/morsels-for-a-wicked-sexy-life/

@In_The_Same_Boat that's unfortunate that your friend reacted that way. It's upsetting to see that side of a person, particularly when it's someone who you expect to be more open-minded and accepting. I'm sorry that happened to you, and hopefully you're able to surround yourself with more positive, uplifting, and understanding folks.

@Sil88 I agree- I often hear people boasting about the number of people they've been with etc. and it's infuriating because you can do all the right things (not have one night stands, use condoms...) and still be affected. A voice inside is always urging me to be brave and share my story in hopes that it'll help others, but often I let the moment pass due to fear.

@fitgirl, you're absolutely right, and sometimes I forget how ignorant I was to STDs before I was diagnosed. It's not on the forefront of people's minds because a) it's an unsavory topic and b) they just don't worry about it, because no one talks about it. Thank you for your kind words

@positivelybeautiful, thank you for your gentle words. I am glad that the article is helping to comfort people in our situation. You have truly helped turn my mood around and I'm grateful to you.

I live with 3 girls, all of us in our 20s, and naturally the conversation turns to sex often. The other night the subject of getting tested came up and the ignorance that surrounds the concept of "I always use condoms" infuriates me. I had that mindset too, before being diagnosed, and despite always using condoms I contracted this. They don't know my situation and I came close to talking about it because I felt it might give them perspective but then chickened out. Just venting I guess. I feel very ostracized when i come back to school...all of my roommates have men in their lives (granted, I can't blame herpes on not having met anyone) and it is a constant reminder of my situation. Especially when the idea of an STD is just laughable to these people; they treat it as if it's an impossible situation. I just feel lost. Between this diagnosis and a bad breakout of acne that started a few weeks back, I feel as if I've forgotten myself and am becoming reacquainted with myself. Like most people in this situation, I have my ups and downs with accepting HSV. It's been 2 years since I've been diagnosed and I have moments of not caring and feeling as if I'm over it, and moments of total dismay, which is where I'm at now. I've been very weepy and volatile and I don't know what to do.

I hear ya.. it took me almost a year after I found out to even want to touch myself again because I was feeling so repressed. But I still felt like I was holding back and wondering whether he was disgusted with me the whole time and whether he was thinking about it... it's such an ever-present thing..sigh.

Last weekend I slept with my ex-boyfriend, who knows my status. Maybe it's wrong but it just felt nice to have some physical male contact and not have to worry about explaining things, or stopping myself, or dancing around the issue. I'm not usually a one night stand type of person, but this just felt easy.

I'm so glad they brought you comfort :) Thank you xo

you guys are awesome. thank you for the support. xo

Back at school, living with 3 other 20-something year old girls, and the conversation turns to sex way more than I can handle. I have come to terms with my diagnosis and am very content with myself. I have learned so much thanks to HSV and I feel like I've gained a good deal of wisdom through this experience. However, roomies don't know about my hsv and it is very tiresome to have to listen to them talk about petty things that I can't contribute to and don't WANT to contribute to. I feel like it makes me come off as "holier than thou" or bitter (which is maybe true..) but I can't help my reactions anymore. I'm just frustrated and lonely. Sex (particularly casual sex) is shoved down my throat constantly when I'm up at school and it is exhausting.

Hi Adiral, you can definitely add it to the community blog! Thank you for the article!

awhile ago I shared with you all a piece I wrote about herpes and self-love.. I decided to submit it to a site called rebellesociety.com, and heard nothing for months. I assumed it was because the subject was taboo and made people uncomfortable. BUT received an email yesterday and they have published it! It's gotten many "likes" and shares on their Facebook page too, and it feels good to win one :) hopefully it will reach others who have HSV and make them feel less alone... anyways here it is again on their site: http://www.rebellesociety.com/2014/06/17/herpes-yoga-self-love/

I was seeing someone for about 5 months. He knew my situation, things were fine, we broke up in Feb. and ended things amicably, initially. Then he did a total turn around and blew me off, won't acknowledge me, gives my roommates dirty looks when he sees them around, and I can't help but wonder if I passed this on to him, and he found out by passing it to someone else or something. I'm just irked and I can't get past it, especially since I'm in college so it's a very concentrated environment as far as people we are friends with, etc. I'm paranoid and can't help but wonder who knows what about me. I'm feeling forlorn, and obviously powerless to control the situation. Just venting I guess. I suppose this is something I will need to get used to- breakups will always be 10x harder with this.

I typically go au naturel down below, and have been noticing some irritation. Didn't know if anyone else has experienced this or if it makes a difference to shave?

Thanks, I appreciate the input :) I've had ghsv1 for almost two years, after the first outbreak I didn't see it again for a year until I started having sex again and began having constant outbreaks. I am also hesitant to start up Valtrex because (and maybe this is irrational) my doctor told me that after about 6 months your body builds up resistance to it, and I guess I feel like I should wait until I start seeing someone to use it?

I work out regularly (usually 4-5 days a week) and I have essentially had one constant outbreak for four months, and I have not had sex since January. I am wondering whether my exercising is triggering them just due to the sweat, friction, etc. Has anyone else experienced this? It's becoming tiresome. I have a prescription for daily Valtrex but have not started it because a) i'm not seeing anyone/having sex and b) I kind of want my body to learn to fight this on it's own.. also, I am on antibiotics 2x a day and don't know if I can handle being on Valtrex in addition.