ShawnaA

I was watch a youtube video about herpes and this male named Ian Frazer has been working on a vaccine to eliminate the viruses reproduction cycle. He explained about the little receptors that plug into outrwhite cells and genetically mutate the cells, they are hoping that it blocks the viruses receptors or something along those lines so that they can not mutates the cells. To me herpes is more like a parasites annoying its host, but only if it was that easy (because there are treatments to get rid of parasites). I just think that it's cool that our technology is coming so far and advancing so fast that there is hope for cure. I just hope one day I can say i USED to have herpes.

Thank you so much ^.^ I will send him the handouts and make sure he gets tested, he fears of getting it and I can understand why and I will have him tested as well. And thank you for the support.

When I was 16 years old I was raped and lost my virginity that way (not even my mom knew that I kept it to myself) and thats how I contracted Herpes. I didn't know I had it for the longest time everything seemed normal I'd get a few sores down there but it was in the middle of summer and just let it go as heat rash and then when I turned 17 in my junior year of high school I had a true break out. It was the worst feeling of my life and burning and itching and the pain so excruciating. So my aunt and I made an appointment at one of the free clinics in town and that's how I found out. It was the worst feeling because I had to tell my current boyfriend of the time he couldn't even look at me and was afraid to even touch me. My Aunt, dad and sister treated me like I was an abomination cleaning off the toilet seat with bleach and the bath tub before and after every use. Which made me feel so dirty and disgusted with myself and even talking about it now makes me cry. The only people that made me feel at the time was my mom and my Cousin (who also had contracted herpes and supported me) in her younger ages. It hurt me so much to be treated like this my aunt and sister would talk behind my back and one day I walked in on one of their conversations, which left me wanting to end it all. I went to one of my friends house and she talked me through she hugged me and let me cry and cry and cry until I didn't have any tease and told me she didn't care about that and she loved me, she never once treated me like a walking plague. Things settled down once I exploded on the whole house telling them they couldn't catch it from me sitting on a toilet seat or from even using the same tub. I went through all of this by myself pretty much without any supporters, most of my family besides my mom and cousin always brought me down about it. This happened back in 2010. Now in 2014 I have over come the feeling of nastiest and I don't look down on myself or even blame myself for what happened. I am also able to tell the people I am close friends with about it. I have even told my current lover and boy friend that I suffer from it and it's affecting our relationship (doesn't want to have sexual contact anymore) but I'm fine with that we will talk about it (i've known him for about 8 and a half years) and I'm sure we can work this out, it's just the fear that he has and I can understand why. I also haven't had any really bad break outs last year in 2013 I only had a couple which were very mild a few bumps here and there but I would dry them out and in a couple day they would peel and be gone ( I made sure not to have any sexual contact with anyone for fear of spreading it). I was also on antivirals for awhile Acyclovir but I found that I didn't really have a use since I wasn't having any real severe outbreaks. In 2014 I haven't had any out breaks at all I've found a new support site, I have been less stressed out, and I've been eating a lot healthier too. I also realized from the videos from youtube that this doesn't have to stop me from having sexual relationships I just have to be responsible about it and inform my lover in a proper way (which I already have) and that I can still find love in the future if I want to. To sum it all up it's a new beginning and just because I have herpes It doesn't mean that its the end. I know things from the past shouldn't affect me anymore but sometimes it does.