mister201

My heart goes out to you, bro. I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I just finished watching your video diary. It felt like I was right there with you because I could feel your sadness, grief, gratitude, joy, fear, and excitement and everything else you expressed. I can relate deeply to so much of what you said for obvious reasons because I'm traveling a similar path right now. I want to thank you so much for turning a painful experience into an opportunity to share yourself deeply. It helps me remember that sharing deep ultimately leads to the type of authentic life and relationships I want. Much love, Brian

Adrial, thank you so much for you help and support. Before I'd "met" you, this stuff seemed so off limits for me. There's no way I would have dreamed I'd be disclosing this to other people. You've helped me see how important it is to love yourself completely and be honest with those who love you, too. And yeah, falling in love is VERY fun! Herpes doesn't have to get in the way of that at all. :D

I've had herpes for nearly 10 years and in that time I've always dated other guys with herpes. The "talk" has never been a big deal. In fact, fear of the talk has probably held me back way more than any other single factor in my life over the past decade. Recently, I've started dating a guy I've known for a couple of years, but we've only just recently began developing romantic feelings for each other. For the first time ever, I was going to have to have the talk. In a way, it felt in my heart and mind like a giant "Dead End" sign, like there would be no way he'd accept this part of me and still want to date me. Last night was the big night, and I finally had the talk with my new guy. I was moderately stressed about it for most of the day, but by the time evening came when we planned to meet I felt pretty calm, centered and focused. I knew he had something special planned for us and I wanted to get the herpes talk out of the way first so that I could put my mind at ease. It went something like this... Me: I want to have a heart to heart talk with you about something important. I’ve got genital herpes. I’m sharing this with you because I trust you and I believe in you and I believe in us. And I’d like to have a discussion with you about it. Him: I love you. Then his dog started howling because she’d accidentally gotten her toy trapped under the couch. We both just started cracking up laughing. I couldn’t believe that we were actually laughing in the midst of this conversation I’d catastrophized for so long. So yeah, all in all, it was a very positive experience. He wasn’t bothered by it at all. He said he has a few friends who have got it and they seem to live happy, normal lives. He did ask if I was on Valtrex daily meds, which I am. After that we went on to have a very romantic evening. I’ve known him for 2 years but have only been dating him for 2 weeks. I feel in my heart like I’ve found something really special. It feels like he’s my future husband. I’m also so relieved that we were able to have this heart to heart talk and remain openhearted, positive, and loving -- even finding some laughter in the situation. The talk definitely has brought us closer together.

Dear Adrial, Thanks for coming out of the H closet (again!) I'm glad to know you and your real name. If I were there I'd give you a big hug and buy you a beer or a coffee or a vegan taco or whatever you like. You're one pretty awesome, honest heartfelt dude. Thanks for being that way. I kept thinking of your post throughout the day and it made me feel totally inspired. I wanted to shout my herpes status from rooftops. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we all understand how difficult having herpes can be sometimes. I absolutely forgive you! We've all been there. And thanks for a great coaching session. Still feeling the ripples from it in my daily life. Brian