sweetfemme

I am unsure of the risk factors with unprotected sex when it comes to HSV however I know there is more risk without protection than their is with protection. I am glad to hear you made an appointment to see someone and hopefully you can get this all sorted out, I recommend a blood test. As for which agencies you should go to I am unsure of that, however I would think either or is fine. A full screening would be ideal just to make sure. And of course next time you have sex wearing protection is ideal, whether you have condoms, dams (real ones or made from condoms or saran wrap), or gloves. You come to the right place, just breathe! :)

Hello my friend! First off a little lesson in science/statistics. Correlation does not imply causation. This means that you have noticed when you have gotten herpes your anxiety had increased, however perhaps herpes does not cause anxiety, and anxiety does not cause herpes. A lot of people misunderstand what correlation means and sometimes scientists misunderstand society in relation to science. Whether or not anxiety and herpes are correlated, remember herpes is one small part of your life. Everything that happens to you after being diagnosed with herpes is not always going to be a cause of having it. You might be making herpes a bigger part of your everyday life than what it truly is in reality.

You know something? That person chose to leave you. In order for you to have a close, intimate relationship with someone they have to be okay with you having h. You did the right thing by telling this individual. Rejection is never easy. I know the feeling of dirtiness and tainted as I used to say. Remember this disease is highly stigmatized because you got it from having sex. I've had h since August 2012 and it's not a horrible disease, the physical aspect of the disease is not overly bad. It's the stigma people put on us that is. It is a person's choice to leave you and when they left you they left a lot of good things. I cannot determine your self-worth for you, that is something that you have to determine for yourself and other people will have to see your worth once you figured that out. For me I had to take time to get to know myself all over again, I questioned myself entirely. I spent time with friends and people who make me feel good, people who make me laugh and enjoy my company. Also take care of your body- eat healthy, drink water, exercise. Before other people can find you desirable you have to see yourself as desirable. Hold your head up high and do what you need to do. Don't give too much of your time dwelling over the rejection, you deserve better than that. Your time is worthy of doing something productive.

You come to the right place! I am happy to hear you are reaching out as it is difficult to find support from the offline community. I am happy to hear your current partner is okay with being intimate with someone who has h! Feeling angry and being depressed is very normal of course. Self-care is extremely important so remember to do things that make you feel good. It took me awhile to be able to feel good about myself but I would do things for myself. I would eat healthy, drink lots of water, exercise, spend time outdoors, have a bath, get a massage, buy something pretty, take a picture, etc. It doesn't get rid of the bad feelings completely however you make you a priority and become in tune with your body (even feel sexy!). Since you have such a great partner you know you have them for support and you definitely have all of us here. Honestly since I have gotten h and had time to process things I think my relationships have significantly improved and I take care of myself better than ever. When you have to share information with a partner there is a possibility of rejection, relationships make us vulnerable in order to potentially achieve intimacy. I think bringing up the conversation of sex makes relationships better. I know right now you probably are feeling very down but just do one thing for yourself, something that makes you feel good.

Hi friends, I have had h now for about 2 years. When I first found out I was devastated and eventually learned to accept the fact I had it. I knew it wasn't a misdiagnosis. Currently I am on a ob now and am waiting for it to heal and this brings me to what is going on. Honestly I always feel gross and diseased which leaves me feeling crappy about myself. It's like I feel the presence of h always. I tried doing things like exercising lots (went down 2 sizes so far) and am dressing nicer and wearing make-up. Am I just putting a band-aid over a broken bone? For those who share my experience, do you still feel that way? Did you overcome that? If so, then how?

Hi friends, I have had h now for about 2 years. When I first found out I was devastated and eventually learned to accept the fact I had it. I knew it wasn't a misdiagnosis. Currently I am on a ob now and am waiting for it to heal and this brings me to what is going on. Honestly I always feel gross and diseased which leaves me feeling crappy about myself. It's like I feel the presence of h always. I tried doing things like exercising lots (went down 2 sizes so far) and am dressing nicer and wearing make-up. Am I just putting a band-aid over a broken bone? For those who share my experience, do you still feel that way? Did you overcome that? If so, then how?

It's good you are giving each other time to process this sort of thing because it is not an easy decision for somebody h- to make. I don't mean to sound like a downer but I have faced this before with people and the way I see it for the other person is [Am I willing to put myself at risk for a life-long disease for a relationship that won't be forever?]. This is a difficult decision and for us it may be that we get rejected or people are with us for a short time but their decision is to not continue the relationship after some time. There are medication options to reduce risk and barrier methods to also help reduce risk. I will say kudos for you for falling in love. It's something I am too fearful of at the moment because I do not want to get hurt. I see the strength in you though because you are willing to connect with people and not let h stop you from falling in love and enjoying what life has to offer even if it isn't forever.

You come to the right place. If you do have it then there will be a healing process you go through emotionally and that's okay. You won't find peace immediately but you will in the future. There are lots of options out there for you and even dating websites for people with h. Not to mention you have an entire community of supporters you can turn to like you are right now. Remember professionals in their 30s are people too and have STIs. Getting tested is the best thing you can do because if you have it, then you can treat it and prevent it from becoming worse and if you don't then you know for sure. Always be honest with partners about your STI status. If somebody chooses not to be romantically/sexually involved because of that, then that's okay. They will appreciate your honesty and you can filter them out.

Yes and no! It feels great because you know you are practicing safer-sex, and no because it doesn't feel the same compared to without it. It might take time to adjust to using dental dams but it is totally worth it. I continue to use them with partners to prevent from passing on h to someone who doesn't have it. If you and your partner both have it then it is up to the both of you to decide what will happen. I have my h contained in one area and continue to use dams to prevent it from showing up in other places. Although transmission is rare in some cases, it does not make it impossible. Dental dams are very expensive and I live in a small city in Canada so dental dams aren't available on the shelves, only online. You can make a small dental dam out of a condom by unrolling it, trimming the edge and then up the side, you can google "how to make a dental dam out of a condom" for visual instruction. Saran wrap is also a good alternative because you can make the sheets as big as you need to, since h usually surrounds the 'boxer short area' it will cover more than a cut up condom. To make the experience more enjoyable I like to use lube on my partner's side. There are some nice warming and tingling lubricants on the market that can enhance sexual pleasure. As for flavor of dental dams, strawberry is my pick! Try them all out though and see what you and/or your partner likes.

It's hard to say how he will react to it. The best thing to do though is to be honest about what you think happened. I am unsure if you can carry it in your system for that long without symptoms, I am not very knowledgeable on h. I guess setting your partner down and explaining everything is the best thing at this point and all you can do is hope he will be understanding and not accuse you of additional cheating. I would encourage him to get tested (blood test) for sure. If anything happens, all of us are here for you. Let him know you love him and tell him your fears and everything you feel, he is your husband right? With everything that happened in the past between the two of you, I am sure you can get through this one.

Imagine you are in your friends living room on a Friday night. Everyone is gathered around, having a few laughs or whatever and then...a herpes joke emerges and everyone laughs. No one knows you have it and you cannot deny that you feel a bit sad after hearing the joke and all the laughter that followed. It wasn't a joke so much about herpes but herpes itself was the joke. What do you do? How have you dealt with these instances? Personally I feel sad and angry and have some resentment towards the person for awhile but I don't want to be like that.

I recommend gloves if you want a safer-sex option. I know it's not desirable...

I used dams in the past, they work great! They are a bit expensive and you often have to buy them online depending where you live. You can make one out of a condom by rolling it out, snipping the tip and cutting up the side to make a squarish looking sheet. However I like saran wrap (use the non-microwavable kind) because you can make the dam as big as you need to, I find cutting condoms are great but they are small. You can put some lube on the vaginal area to enhance the experience.

My doctor told me the medication prescribed for cold sores around the mouth is different for the genital region in terms of the dosage and the frequency at which you take it. I am a bit confused about something, you mentioned he was taking your medication? I think he should take medication that is prescribed to him because it would most likely suit his needs. It sounds like you got this one covered, I know meds are difficult to get without the money. Something I worry about in the future personally.

Hey Kanoa! Well I am a lesbian and h is very tricky for us because we do different things that straight people may not do or may not do as often. Herpes can spread to different areas of the body and although this is rare, we can get h on our fingers and hands which can increase when we use them during sex which I recommend using latex gloves or latex-free gloves if your partner is allergic. Tribbing can be difficult (scissoring) because there is no way that we know of how to protect from vagina grinding. I would only do this is your partner already has h because any methods I can think of would just crumple up and be useless. If your partner already has it though I would be less worried. Dental Dams are good if you can afford them. They are impossible to find where I live so you order them online, grab some at sexual health events or you can use saran wrap. I personally find it awkward using saran wrap when I first meet somebody but when you have been with somebody for awhile it's all good hah. Be careful with 69ing because your face has contact with the skin in areas that dams or wrap may not cover and you can spread it onto your face if you are not careful. Strap ons are great! Make sure that toys are designated to a certain person. For example this harness is only for Monica to use on Leanne with this dildo. This can decrease the chance for transmission. Also the harness is a great barrier for the surrounding vaginal area of the receiver and the pelvic area of the giver. Always clean everything afterwards! Also use condoms on the dildos too. Good habit. I find privacy difficult in the lesbian community because we tend to all hang around with each other and secrets are passed along. For example let's say Miranda has h and starts dating Bianca and discloses her h to her. Then Miranda and Bianca break up and Miranda later starts dating Bianca's ex-partner Veronica and they are still close friends. Well maybe Miranda wanted to wait to tell Veronica about h however Bianca tells Veronica that Miranda has h before Miranda had the chance to tell her. If Miranda and Bianca were on good terms this may or may not happen but if they are on bad terms you bet there is a high chance of Bianca telling Veronica about it. This has never happened to me personally but I have seen it happen (btw all the names were ones I made up). What I find extremely difficult gay or straight, people expect sex very early on in a relationship, even before they fall in love. This never sounded funny to me before h but after getting h it changed my perspective on love and sex. My preference is to wait at least 4 months before telling a partner about h, and after then we can talk about sex if they are still interested in a relationship. My body my rules as I like to say it. Since I live in a small city in the maritimes in Canada there are few partners to begin with. So even trying out dating websites for h is impossible because nobody signs up for them. There are some unique challenges that lesbians face and some bisexuals. Honestly I haven't quite mastered anything I am still struggling myself but I hope my experience gives you an idea!