suzyque

Hi jj1966, I, like you, have struggled with the "who" I got infected by. I just recently got through my first outbreak which I would consider pretty bad. It started with a few ulcerations in the vaginal area and four in the pubic hair area. A few days later, three more showed up. Very, very painful. I had a 103 fever and pains down the back of my legs for some of those days and was absolutely exhausted. The total episode was about two weeks and I had started taking Valtrex about 1/2 way through when the diagnosis came back positive. This first outbreak was about 11 months after I believe I was exposed to HSV-2. I don't understand the reason for the delay, but like you was battling bacterial vaginosis and also yeast infections which had been recurring for probably 6 months, so my system was run down. My guess is that was the trigger for my OB. I too know it's a moot point, but at the same time, knowing who I acquired it from would help me move forward. I am trying to let it go, trying to keep it in perspective, but there are days when that is really hard. Hang in there and stay strong!

Thanks for replying. Good to hear from a guy :-) Update is that he got tested on Friday, so we are waiting for the results. I agree his position is odd. Still trying to figure it out. We've been together awhile and he has never given me even a slight reason to doubt anything, so I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. It kind of sucks that there is no way for me to know if he had it before me or not. I just have to choose whether or not to trust him. I hate to be suspicious, but I don't want to be an idiot either.

Thank you for your response. I hope you are right and my partner just doesn't see it as a big issue. My suspicious side wants to assume the worst - like he has had it all along and doesn't want to tell me. There is absolutely no evidence of this, but as I said, I'm struggling with the "Who the hell gave this to me?" issue right now and I need him to follow through on getting testing for both our benefits. I just have to be patient, I guess. I am also waiting for the feeling of "life goes on." I'm a practical person and will deal with this like I've dealt with every other adversity in my life, but it really sucks! My heart is heavy with sadness that I now have to consider my H status before any sexual encounter I have -whether that be with my current partner or any in the future.

Hi, I'm newly diagnosed. I've been in a monogamous relationship for about 7 months, and my boyfriend has told me he tested negative for HSV-2 prior to dating me and had been celibate (by choice) for a period of 2 years before we began dating. I tested negative in May 2013. I am struggling with where I got it from. My guess is I was exposed to it by a man I had sex with shortly a few months before I started dating my now boyfriend. I was with him once and used protection, but he turned out to be a lunatic and I don't trust anything he has since told me and I no longer have any contact with him. I do recall him joking that that he had herpes, but then he denied it, so who knows. I got tested only a month after that sexual encounter, which I now realize was likely too soon to have the antibodies show up in the blood test. I don't recall having any initial symptoms within those first few weeks, and the past two weeks have been my first miserable and terrible outbreak, which is about 1 year after when I think I was exposed. I don't know how common this is, to have such a delay with the first outbreak, but for whatever reason, the herpes decided to make its first appearance. My problem at this point is that my partner is procrastinating about being tested. I don't understand why. He's a mature, well educated physician. He has been nothing but supportive of me. Has assured me he isn't going anywhere and he loves me etc.. He has acted like this is not a big deal and that we can manage it successfully. I, on the other hand, am devastated. He said he will get tested, but so far has not. It's been a few weeks since I tested positive and we've talked about him getting tested regularly. I don't know if he's embarrassed to get tested, in denial that its a possibility that he has it, doesn't want to know one way or the other - I just don't get his reluctance. I am already on suppressive meds and he said if he tests positive he will do the same. But he hasn't gotten tested. I am worried about if I exposed him and the ramifications of how he will feel if he does test positive. I am also concerned about who I should tell. There were two long term friends w/ benefits who I had a last hurrah with (separately, mind you) after sleeping with the lunatic and before deciding to settle down with my now BF. I don't think they gave it to me as I had been with them off and on for a long time, but if there is a chance I exposed them, I feel like they have the right to know. The doctor said it is highly unlikely I could have passed it to anyone prior to my first outbreak, but some of what I have read seems to contradict that. I was waiting to see what my bf results were figuring that if he tests negative after 7 months of unprotected sex with me, then it is pretty unlikely one encounter with the FWBs would have exposed them. However, with my bf's delay in getting tested, I am feeling like I need to talk to them regardless. Does anyone have any thoughts on any of this?? I'd appreciate anything you'd like to share. Thanks in advance :-)