The first guy I ever slept with gave me HSV-1 through oral sex, in 2008. Needless to say, I've never had a "normal" sex life and have only had one boyfriend since the guy who gave it to me. I've dated several others (not intimately of course). Yet I tend to go for relationships that I know won't be serious or intimate because disclosing my condition is hard for someone who already doesn't have a lot of confidence in the dating arena. I'm not sure when is the appropriate time to have the sex talk, because like I've said, I've never had a normal sex life.
That being said, I recently ran into an old college buddy at a friend's wedding. He and I really hit it off, spending every possible moment together and speaking every night since. Even though we live 6 hours apart, we're going to explore whatever this is, and for once I actually wouldn't mind a future with this one. Of course, it's been only a very short time so it's much too soon to know where this is going. And under normal circumstances, it would be too soon to have the herpes talk with someone. However he is talking about visiting me in several weeks for a long weekend. I feel like I should disclose my condition to him before he comes up, even if we do not have sex at that time (he is considering flying so this is an added time-crunch). Two reasons are prompting me. First I would feel guilty for not disclosing it to him before he spent the time and money to come up. Secondly, it would be a rain cloud hanging over my head the entire weekend (as you can probably tell, it already is).
So as this is the most respectable herpes blog I've come across, I would appreciate your thoughts specifically on this situation and normal ones. When is the logical appropriate time to have this conversation? How do you know he's/she's the person to have this talk with? Thank you in advance.