Sparklepony

Thanks guys!!! I'm still smiling like an idiot over it.

It went pretty much as perfect as it could have gone. I ripped the Band-Aid off, told him basic facts and then waited for his reaction... he wasn't even phased. Said he knew about the statistics and such from a class he took a few years ago, told me he was pretty impressed by how up front I was and that it doesn't change anything. I almost passed out.

Nonexistent.

I have been in the sun a lot all summer and so far no issue whatsoever. The antivirals are pretty efficient I think, I honestly think that's what has kept any other outbreaks besides my initial one away.

It's been almost 5 months since I was given the herpes. If someone would have told me back then that my life would be so much better now I would have laughed... or punched them depending upon who it was. I've gotten better at taking care of my body! Down 17 pounds, ran a half marathon (well, walk/jog/run.. whatever). I've made pretty excellent progress with my job. And I sort of "met" someone... I've known him since high school (I have no idea why I keep going back to people from HS.... ) and now the task of telling him is becoming real. We aren't close to anything physical, it's strictly talking for now but I feel like I should get it done and over with and out of the way. I've pretty nervous because I've never even had to think about telling someone yet. Overall, I'm actually GLAD this all happened to me. I feel like my quality of life is so much more than it was almost 5 months ago. No real purpose for this post. Just been a long time since I've been on HL and figured I would update. Have a great night!!

I'm not sure, but I think the protocol is to take suppressive meds for about 4-6 weeks before delivery. If you're concerned about it and it's causing you stress, just get on suppressive meds now and it *should* make your outbreaks non-existent. You have about 7 months to go so in that time your body will have built up a good immunity and the risk isn't as great of passing it along to your baby.

I think it's emotionally driven. I see people immediately start dating after separating from a boyfriend/girlfriend or divorcing. I think it's a sense of validation, needing to feel your value. Totally human nature, I think it's a defense mechanism to avoid having your self esteem implode. There is nothing, NOTHING, wrong with dating after a herpes diagnosis.... we aren't ruined people, in many cases we become more enriched by it. You just have to keep in mind that you have to be open and honest with it about future partners.

I have no idea how sex would affect me, haven't done the deed since being diagnosed. I do know my back is more sensitive in the lower spinal region. I notice if I open or close a door or bump into something with that area that it tingle/mild pain in for a few minutes.

Ehhh I would be skeptical of Nail, waxing, etc. Anything with chemicals or intense ways of hair removal (the act of ripping out hair is traumatic for skin) can trigger an outbreak. Shaving is less invasive, but beware of tiny cuts. What has worked for me is shaving the less delicate and then just trimming the more delicate area. I'm still less than a year after diagnosis so I'm still pretty cautious of causing outbreaks. The best thing is to figure out what are triggers for you. If waxing causes nothing then great, if Nair doesn't cause outbreaks then great. Everyone is different.

I know that having the herpes is a big life change, but you're giving it way too much control in your life. You HAVE herpes, you are not herpes. Don't let it define you, as difficult as it is. You don't say how long you have been H+, but I'm assuming not long? Maybe a month or so? It's a process to accept it, and you need to go through the motions. I remember being TERRIFIED of anyone finding out, like to the point that I thought I would never date again to avoid disclosing (I'm still not dating... but it's because I'm insanely busy, not because of the herpes.) but I've gotten to the point where I'm kinda meh about anyone finding out. I've told a few close friends, my mom, and the person who passed this along to me but if anyone else found out, their judgment says more about them than it does me. You can't function the way you're feeling now. You NEED to find a way to move past your grief feelings and learn to live again. For me, I basically told myself that it was done and I couldn't change it so use it to better myself. I think I've done just that. Again, you have herpes, you're not herpes. As for the triggers, not everyone has the same ones. I have had one outbreak (my initial one) and that's it. I use to cry thinking I could never again have peanut butter or caffeine or be able to run... well, I do it all. I seriously eat maybe a jar of peanut butter a week, coffee almost every day, and I'm averaging about 30 miles a week in running (half marathon, whats up?) All in all, you're going to make it through this. It's just up to you to determine your outlook.

Things like this are so powerful. So scary yet so easy to relate to. I don't know why, but HIV and even to some extent still, herpes, scares me. I don't know if I'll ever get over that. I think it's a mix of a lot of things. No one wants to have something that compromises our health or our thoughts of our self worth, no one wants the possible (and almost at some point guaranteed) shame, and no one wants to risk passing it along to another person. All of those things weigh you down if you don't directly deal with the emotional baggage that comes with being affected by these things. Have you seen Dallas Buyers Club? I rented that right after it came out and within about 15 minutes I was bawling. That could easily be me, that could easily be any one of us here almost.

No really too much to ad, Dancer brought up yeast infections and that's what your symptoms sound like. It could be any number of bacterial infections. Herpes usually starts as a itching/burning then turns into blisters/sores within a few days. There can sometimes be a discharge, but it's not typically "white" like with a yeast infection. The burning and itching is why people confuse the two.

I've been taking Valtrex for awhile now (A month and half or so...?) and at first I got slightly dizzy, but it could have been to increased heat (stupid body being super sensitive) and/or some dehydration. I also notice that I get more headaches if I don't drink enough water which may or may not be a side effect. Other than that, nothing really to notable. The tiredness might not be a side effect of the meds completely, but your body adjusting to having herpes. Fatigue is one of the symptoms of outbreaks. Also, I noticed Dancer was commenting on some back pain? or sensitivity? So sorry, so lazy and didn't read through everything but I had some back pain towards the end of my initial outbreak right at the end of my spine. I'm pretty sensitive with my body and I chalked it up to the virus sort of "locating itself" there. I notice now that if I push open a door with my hip or back or something that it tingles for a few minutes.

It's probably healing, like Dancer said. It could also be your imagination. I know right after my diagnosis I was so, so afraid that I had gotten oral herpes as well. I kept feeling the tingling and thinking "yup, here it comes" but nothing. I also get phantom tingles when I think about having an outbreak. Our minds do some weird things to us.

Ramble on my friend. Sometimes it's the only way to sort your thoughts. I can't offer much help with the HPV, or even the distress your relationship is under right now but I can say that I don't think throwing in the towel just yet is the right thing to do. Unless there is way more going on than just the lack of intimacy then I would just consider this a rough patch. I know that lack of sex can make a relationship seemed doomed. I also know that sex isn't the only form of intimacy there is. For right now you guys should be focusing on figuring out what those other forms are for your relationship. HPV and herpes, as well as anything else sexually transmitted throws relationships a huge curve ball. Especially in the bedroom department. I think right now she just needs you to talk, talk, talk, and talk to her. Women like that shit.

Herpes is really confusing. Some people seem to have a week to a few days of indication of an outbreak, and others have nothing then bam full blown outbreak. It really just comes down to learning as much as you can about you body and really paying attention to details. If you have been diagnosed within the last few months then being on suppressive meds could work to your benefit. Outbreaks are *usually* more frequent and more intense during the first year. Predome is still an issue as suppressive meds do not completely take away the chance of an outbreak. As far as bumps showing up in the same AREA, yes. You will always get outbreaks near the are that you contracted the herp from. The exact same SPOT, no. It will be in your lady area, but not be the exact same bumps every single time.

I had noticed a few posts asking about the exercise and outbreaks and found the info interesting. I was a pretty avid runner, then got lazy about a month before my initial outbreak and then proceeded to gain like 10 pounds.... yeah. Anyway, I've been working out 6 days a week the last 3 weeks and not even a symptom has shown up. I am ecstatic about it!!

I've seen a lot of people ask if outbreaks are often caused by exercise. While every person will have different triggers, I found some interesting information. - If outbreaks are triggered by exercise (change in routine, change in intensity) they should only happen a time or two before your body catches on. - For MOST people, exercise reduces outbreaks because as with most things in life, sweating and the increased circulation that comes with exercise improves overall health conditions. - If you're worried about outbreaks, start off slow and gradually increase so your body doesn't go into "shock" (you should do this anyway to avoid injury) - Wear breathable clothes. While the tight, spandexy material often times looks better, it doesn't give your nether regions a chance to breath. - Stay hydrated. Dehydration can trigger outbreaks. I wish I could re-find the source for this. It was on my phone, stupid iPhone glittched out and closed all my internet windows.

I'm actually glad that I have to be more selective with who I sleep with. I wasn't out of control by any means, especially the last four years, but when I was younger I was not nearly as careful as I should have been. Since being diagnosed I've changed the way I think about sex. Yes, it can be crazy and hott and spontaneous but with one person. One person who knows my soul. (I can not believe I even typed that out). One person who WANTS to know all of me and wants me to know all of them. Not just the fun things, or the easy things. I've decided I won't give someone my body if they won't give me their love.

I've been wondering this too. Not because I have any potential dates or anything.... lol. I think it varies from person to person. Obviously, BEFORE sleeping with them. Personally, I would want to wait until I knew it was someone I could trust to not tell other people or use it against me. Herpes makes you really open your eyes to the kind of company you keep. I have only a few select friends I would even consider telling- maybe 5, and even at that I've only told 2. It's going to make you be extremely selective at who you sleep with, which isn't such a bad thing.

It would make sense timeline wise that you have Herpes. Generally outbreaks occur within a week or two after initially coming in contact with it. There are those cases where people are carries for years and years and never know but that's sorta rare. If he got it then it takes about a week or two to show up on his body, then another week or two for you then it makes sense that it would be Herpes. I had a UTI as well around the same time as my diagnosis which is pretty common, as are yeast infections. That whole area like to act up at once apparently. Until you have a physical outbreak or a positive blood test there really isn't a way to know. I would wait another 12 weeks then get a blood test unless you have a physical outbreak. As far as being angry, it's normal. You have every right to be upset. There was infidelity AND your health that was affected. However, staying angry isn't going to be very productive. Plus Herpes flare up are easily triggered by stress. You're probably scared too, which is also very, very normal. Just know that as time passes you will see that Herpes isn't anything more than an annoying skin condition.

EEEKKK!!! I'm so excited! This turned out so great, Herry!!

Maxi dresses and skirts are where it's at. I've been wearing them a lot lately. Basically crotch-less yoga pants.

Sunlight can trigger outbreaks, but I think it's a bigger problem for those with oral herpes. If you must tan, then wear a bikini in the bed. That might help. As far as shaving, once your outbreak is completely healed, it shouldn't be too much of an issue.

I think I would rather deal with an outbreak than a few of my exes.... Nothing feels a good as closure. Especially after such a long time.