alex08

I drink green tea every day and I've only ever had my original OB 7 years ago and 2 more close together last year.. then again I eat chocolate every day too... :-)

I don't think he'll be mad for not telling while you were getting hot and heavy. It was a smart choice to draw a line and hopefully he'll see that and be grateful for it. It sounds to me like now is a good time to tell him, since you could obviously quickly get into a physical relationship under more healthy circumstances (to put it delicately). As many people have said here it could actually be the thing that lets you know for sure if he sees this as a potential relationship or a chance for a hookup. Bright side! ;-)

While it is contagious at any time, during OB is a definite no no. Everyone is different but my bf and I have been together 7 years and he has never had any symptons. Just keep an eye out. Doctors can also do a blood test if you don't have symptoms. Also just fyi it's still possible to contract it during protected sex. Btw I laughed out loud at 'inspect her visually'!

I was only kidding ;-)

Just my 2 cents but probably the thought of having to disclose means you won't date just anyone. You need to know that you can open to someone in a way which, imo.is more personal than just sex and dating. It's actually kind of great :-)

Been in her shoes and yours and I gotta say that all those feelings are so normal it's almost funny! Yes she handled it wrong, yes you handled it wrong, but it's not to late to fix it all. People get STD and it's not always horrible or vengeful. Things happen. She told you, you did it anyway. You are both guilty, blameless and normal! I totally agree with WCS. and not just cuz I'm a little afraid of her... You have to have a non-judgy conversation and make things right. Good luck :-) Ps if she really won't talk to you anymore then you have every right to call her all the bitches of the day.

I have only told 2 people. I'll give the example of my mum. I had to tell her for practical reasons (I was 17 and needed a lift to the GUM. clinic). She avoids it at all costs. I mean she never made me feel bad about it but she never offered to talk about how I was feeling. I could tell she was ashamed and a little grossed out. In 8 years she only asked me if it ever came back once and seemed shocked that I hadn't told her when it did. Lesson to be learned, be there for LO. and let them know they can call you if it gets too much It is amazing that you care so much.

I never even thought about donations! This site has helped me more in just 2 days than anyone ever has regarding this skin condition :-) just gave and as soon as I have more to give I'll give it!

Thank you so much everyone. I should have joined a site like this years ago. I've only ever told my boyfriend and my mum about this and I can't tell you how good it feels to open up to a whole community of people who know how I feel. Although, I suppose you do know how it feels lol! I've cleared my head a little bit and re read all your comments. I was in a bad place when I started this discussion, at like 4 in the morning. (UK time). I'm not usually an insecure person but when it comes to this I have been feeling really lonely and lost. Your input is so appreciated. I think I might show it to my boyfriend. I've said stuff here I didn't even realise I was feeling and he should know. :-D

Wow thanks so much for your replies. I wrote this hoping somebody would be on my side but now that I read how this seems to an outsider I feel a bit sick. I've been in a controlling and manipulative relationship before (the guy who gave me H actually) so I can totally see how this is coming across but I really don't feel that way. I certainly don't feel trapped, that is all him. The thing is the 'making it up to him' that he wants isn't unreasonable, he just wants more sex, nothing weird or anything. I feel that if he hadn't brought up the H with it it would just be a normal conversation about our sex life. He did want anal and I tried a few times for him but didn't like it, he tried to bring up the H but I flat told him that was manipulative and he dropped it. A lot of why he's still annoyed about it is because I have lied to him about other things since then too. I don't really know why, I have never cheated or anything but sometimes I go out and don't tell him. Last time I ended up falling asleep drunk at a friends house. I did tell him eventually and obviously he was very suspicious and it brought up those feelings of betrayal and being lied to. I mean I obviously need to work on that and I am trying. I suppose I'm writing this to give his side a little bit. I was hoping someone would be on my side but now I feel bad for making him out to be so bad. I thoroughly do not expect anyone to be still reading this so thank you if you are lol! I totally take on board what you have all said though and I'm looking into free counselling services in our area as we speak :-)

The best thing my mum ever done for me was knock some sense into me to make me leave the guy who gave it to me. He had obviously cheated since we had been together for a year before we both suddenly got it and he blamed me even though I was virgin before we met. I found myself begging him not to leave me til my mum said 'what the hell are you doing??' You feel like no one else will want you but believe me they will :-)

Don't be discouraged! More people than you know already have it. Would you try a herpes dating site? I always think that's what I'll do if I'm ever single again. Telling is always a horrible experience but most stories I've read on here are positive! You should read a few :-)

Accidental repost sorry! Please comment on this one

Just wanted to say that I'm really glad I found this site. You guys really know your stuff and the stories are really uplifting. I love it :-)

Hi I've just had my membership accepted but I spent last night reading through similar posts so I know I can get some good honest advice here. I got herpes when I was 17 and stupidly slept with a couple of people without disclosing, including my now boyfriend. I lied and even denied but finally came clean and he forgave me. 7 years later he still brings it up. I love him and I want to marry him, and I really do know he loves me too. But recently he said he feels trapped, that if he does have it (and he's never had any symptoms) he feels if we ever broke up he would never date again. And he feels that because of this I should be 'making it up to him more' in bed. My question is has anyone experienced this? Is he right? Should I be still trying to make up for a mistake he forgave me for 7 years ago? I feel really selfish but at the same time I don't want to feel like I'm less worthy in our relationship. I should stress that we have a great relationship apart from this and I had to drag this out of him when I noticed he wasn't happy. Thoughts please??