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I think the sooner the better. Just sit quietly somewhere with him. Let him know that you have something important to say to him. See how he responds. You can base how he responds as you are trying to tell him. You can always stop if you feel a lot of doubt. I think it is better to get it out like I have herpes, it is not life threatening, it can be controlled through protection, someone in the past gave it to me without telling me he had it, etc. See how he responds. I know it is scary but if he cares a lot about you, he will not leave you. You will know how much he cares also.

Try asking him if he is afraid? This may help him open up his fears and get you both closer. You never know. It doesn't hurt to try. You already told him the hardest thing, so anything now, will go smoother. I think.

Pros: I have learned to be more selective and not lower my standards about men. Cons: I haven't been with someone for almost 10 years and am beginning to wonder. Yet, I haven't met anyone that I think is worth it yet.

Everytime, I have disclosed to someone, either to therapist or a friend, I get treated with no respect. How do I go on to believe that people wont take advantage or try to take advantage of me after I tell them?

What horrible words to say about yourself. This is nothing, think of cancer as a disease which is very much worse than a little pimple like herpes on the skin, hello, making a mountain from a molehill is probably causing anxiety and so many other mental anquish. We need to love ourselves first before we can love someone else. If you walk around saying to yourself that you have a disease then this is not loving yourself. You need to say, "Hi, sweetheart, I love you but I love me and it is important for me to tell you because I care about you that this is who I am. I live with a mini skin virus that may break out once in a while and because I care about you, I want to make sure that you don't get this skin virus which comes from the herpes family. Like a cold sore on your mouth, no worse than that. So here I am!"

Hi Adrial, I was told by a counsellor in a sex clinic that people can put a bandade on the area where outbreaks usually happen which prevents skin to skin contact helps.

If they care, and you let them know to make sure they are wearing a condomn and no outbreaks, the risk is very low.

Oh, only tell someone if you think the person really cares about you too.

Hi, Based on peoples suggestion, just wear a condomn and make sure you don't have an outbreak makes the risk very low. My doctor and other counsellors have told me this. I have never given it to anyone in 18 years. Voila