itcouldbeworse

So it was one of my co workers. She would throw small hang outs at her place after work. Beer pong and food. I felt chemistry from her but this one particular night it was heavy. I honestly didn't know how to respond, it had been about 2 years since breaking up with my ex that possibly gave me H. After hanging out we started cleaning up and everyone was leaving... I was going to leave too until she asked me if I could help her clean some more. Suddenly it was just me and her and she literally pinned me against the wall and flicked off the lights. I hugged her and told her I couldn't. She was confused; turning away sex? Yes, yes I did. I continued to tell her I couldn't. She asked why. I told her I couldn't tell her because it might make things weird. Welp, there goes her hand. I feel her hand reaching towards the goods. Again I stopped her. At this point she probably thinks I don't like girls. F*ck it, I'm going to just tell her. "What I have to tell you is important to me, like really important. I have heeerrrpes". She looks confused. Shocked. I'm whispering as low as I can because she has roomates. I hush her and again I whisper to her, "yea, I have herpes... sorry" She then asks me to go to her room and lay down. We go into her room and she lays down. I lay down and I'm just staring at the ceiling. The lights are off but the TV is on. She's laying on her side. It's quiet in the beginning but she started to ask questions. I told her it's more common than most people expect. I told her what I go through when I have out breaks. She was so damn cool about it. She asked if I wanted to spend the night. I told her I will but we can't do anything. We made out and we both fell asleep. That morning when I left her house I felt so damn relieved. Not because she was cool about it, but because I was I wasn't scared to tell her. I knew that there was a high chance she would say no, ewww, get out but she didn't. I use to beat myself up in made up scenarios but it played out way differently. That same day she invited me over again and we talked more. I told her she was the second person I ever told. That it was important to me that whatever I disclose stays between us two. The first person I told was a coworker of mine as well. He was cool about it too. He knew a lot of the signs and symptoms that I thought he had it too. Just so happens he had scares and did his research. Man, he didn't think it was a big deal at all. I mean he took his phone that I had just touched and wiped it with an alcohol wipe, haha, but we both laughed about that. I told him because I was going through things. I felt trapped, I felt broken, I just needed to let someone know. Luckily for me, that day, he was scheduled to work with me. Back to my girl co-worker. Let's call her El. I would spend nights at her house just making out and basically dry humping. I mean it got to the point where I had to fight to keep her from pulling my shorts down, I was so reluctant. I kept telling her she had to know the chances and she had to be completely cool with it. About a month in I was ready, she had been ready. We had sex and it was horrible. I totally underperformed LOL. I still wasn't comfortable. So El waited a month to have sex with someone with H and it wasn't even worth it. I thought I was done. Boy was I wrong, she was head over heals for me. Fast forward to now, we have plenty of sex. We are at the point where we can joke about H. We have our small arguments. We make up, we tease with the word "love". I'm really starting to fall for this girl, I haven't been the best boyfriend and I owe her so much. I'm in a relationship that I thought I would be in again; a normal one and ot one with an asterisk at the end. TL;DR Co-worker had a crush on me, I disclosed and she was totally cool with it. We have sex, argue, go out and eat. So basically a regular relationship. Even if we don't work out, I would not regret this relationship at all. It's been one of my bests. The stupid thing was that it almost didn't happen. Good luck guys. We only have one life, we were already given a small obstacle. Don't let that stop you from making the most out of it. I didn't and I'll always live like this was meant to happen. Great community btw.

I had to double check if I wrote the very first post. I'm in the exact situation. Everyone thinks I have girls to the left and right of me. That use to be the case. Now I just chose to be single. People are even questioning my sexuality lol. My night usually has me going out, having a drink or two, making girls laugh and then me just walking away... I always question if the girl seems like an understanding person or if she is the one that will tell every one.

I love happy stories. Out little gift brings out the real person. There's no sugar coating any feelings after disclosure.

Hi. I'm a young 31 year old guy living in the LA area. For the most part I've overcome all the guilt and the feeling bad for myself. Before this condition I was an over hyper funny guy that got along with everyone. I'm slowly getting back to that point. I have only disclosed to one person , a coworker. He was accepting and he sees me the same way. I think support plays a great part in healing from H. I would like to find someone just to talk to.