diversgirl

Anyone used it? Reviews?

Thanks for sharing Dancer. I have so many of the same feelings and emotions as you. Loneliness is so tough for me. I had a beautiful man who I was deeply in love with give me H. He knew and didn't disclose. That was tough to take, and yes he blew my trust for him right out of the water. I was so caught up in the anger and fear of H and its impact on my life, I forgot how much I wanted him in my life too. If only I could turn back time, just this once..... it wouldn't be the H that I would change, it would be to take better care of love.

Dancing around my kitchen singing Let It Go...... :) :) :)

These two really spoke to me. And the thought on meditating,that even 30 seconds is ok :) Thanks for sharing!! 11. Suffering is the result of clinging. (This so applies to my recently ended romantic relationship....I suffered because I kept clinging to the thought he would take care of me and that we would be together & be there for eachother. Once I let go of clinging to that expectation, the pain stopped.) Yesterday, we took a bus to Cali, Colombia. We were told it would take five hours. After eight hours had passed, I was hungry, tired, annoyed with the horrendous movies being shown in rapid succession on the bus and tearfully frustrated. I was clinging to my expectation that the trip would be five hours long. My young daughter, on the other hand, was just fine. She had no expectations. Whenever I cling, I suffer. So I strive not to cling. 13. Friendship is the highest form of love. (This is so me, and I need to remind myself I have some wonderful lovers in my life -- my dear friends) This teaching came from Osho. When I read that sentence, it stopped me in my tracks. It rang so true. Though at the time I struggled with romantic love, I have typically flourished in friendships. True friendship is founded on trust and respect. The best marriages are founded on genuine friendship.

I probably should have added I tend to being an HSP. To deny my feelings = not a good place for me. I forget sometimes that not everyone feels like I do lol http://www.alternet.org/personal-health/6-signs-you-could-be-highly-sensitive-person

Hate -- a very strong feeling of dislike I hear what you're saying Dancer although I'm comfortable with the definition above. With all due respect, I think you're putting more into the word than there really is. I just spent a week in Maine on a solo camp/hike/cycle/kayak trip. I've found ways to love life, breathe, smile, be independent, laugh. But do I still hate him? Yes. Does it have a power over me? No. I think it's actually unhealthy not to let your feelings happen. I've given myself permission to hate him and I've been happy and OB free for the last month. Trying to stifle and push down my feelings was stressing me more than accepting my feelings. His possible past rejection is not my problem or worry. I am my focus. :)

I'm sorry :( I know what you're going through. Diagnosis is challenging enough, but then to find out the person who gave it to you, knew and didn't disclose is heartbreaking. In my case it was my boyfriend who knew (probably told me he loved me the same night he knowingly infected me). Before we went to no condoms I asked him point blank and he lied and said he was fine. It's a horrible betrayal to overcome. And then he dumped me and went back to his ex gf, who he had slept with when we were still together (which I didn't know at the time). So I don't know if it helps, but you are not alone. I loved him too, and to have this and go it alone, knowing that you can't lean on the one you loved.... wow, just so hard. Isolating. And trust....yes that will be harder to do next time no doubt. I haven't figured out that one yet. It's been a few months since this all happened, and while some would say I should forget and move on, I can promise you I will hate him forever. And I'm good with that. Find beautiful things in your life to enjoy, appreciate and treasure, it helps. But if you want to be angry, that's ok too. Message if you want to talk. xo

Yes, the wingman! Good stuff :)

You told him. He knew the risk. He was able to choose. What I see in you is an honorable, decent, loving, compassionate human being :)

Agreed, great article. Thanks for sharing!

I will!

Thanks @WCSDancer2010 so much of what you say rings so true. And he texted today and says he wants to talk about us and our future together. weeeee! Crazy how life works. I've been so angry lately... hating the ex bf who gave this to me. No matter what happens, no more negative looking back, only positive looking forward :)

So i've had this friend, we dated a few years ago and always got along and stayed friends, have a lot of the same views on life and parenting, but we lived too far apart to make it anything more. There was a time when we were both single we would joke that once all our kids were out the door we's run away together. Well I'm almost there, and single again, so he started talking like he wanted to maybe rekindle things. I waited a few talks before I told him about my status, he was supportive and said lots of people had it and it''s just a bump in the road. I was so relieved and thought he was being so sweet about it all. And now it's been a week and havent heard from him, so I asked him what was up, and he said the h+ was just more than he can handle right now. He was honest, which i do appreciate, and said it was just really tough because he knows I got it from this other guy I was dating at the time.... rejection, sad face. It seems I'll end up alone.... just sadness

Thanks for the suggestion @NSgreenville! And @Otter, yeah those shorts are schmexy lol. So glad to hear you're getting your exercise on :) I can totally relate!

oh, good to know! Thanks for the clarification :)

Aw, thanks :) I was diagnosed April 29th (swab), so just shy of 3 months. Blood test last week still neg. Gonna try again in the fall I guess

oh well dang. No not hopeless @whitedaisies, we can do this .... but geesh I agree, I thought there was another option. OK, so I'll keep taking val 3x a day and just stick with it for a while. Damn that stupid ex bf for not having the guts to tell me he was h+. He still hasn't gotten himself a blood test so I can know if I'm dealing with both 1 & 2 or just 2. You think he could at least do that for me since my blood test is still neg. Cowardly bastard. Ugh. He needs to see the wizard for a 3 pack. Brains, heart and courage.

I literally just went back down to 1000mg daily (suppressive dose) of valacyclovir yesterday, after the 10 day 3000mg from an OB and now another bump appears. Seriously so damn annoying. Grrrr. Has anyone swtiched from val to famiciclovir and had better results? I'm HSV2 gen, diagnosed about 3 months ago.

Agreed :) Wonderful people here.

I totally get your need for a workout, I exercise some and I don't have any problems with running or hiking. Cycling is a little different and I do seem to be prone to OBs post cycle (20+ miles or more). But I love it so I haven't given it up altogether, although I have seriously backed off on the amount of miles I log weekly. And what Dancer says is absolutely right on. Wash and dry asap! I have a camping trip coming up with bike/hike/kayak and I totally had to book campsites with showers. To do without would be asking for mega trouble. Even after a hot sweaty day of just life I find myself showing 2x daily. Good luck!

Luck luck and more luck! Have a blast :)

First, I'm sorry you have to deal with H. Most of us here would agree that learning we are H positive truly is one of the most emotional things we've ever had to face. Personally I'm just shy of 3 months into it and I really struggled in the beginning. Depression, thoughts of suicide, fear, insecurity....ah the list is long. I struggled so much that the bf who gave it to me broke up with me, damn that hurt. He didn't have the patience and empathy that I needed (but that's his issue and another story). Back to me...the challenge for me is I've always been a fighter. My family/friends would describe me as strong, independent, fearless. I fought to get out of a bad marriage to save my kids from years of emotional abuse. I fought financial issues (hmm, that seems to be ongoing lol). When my 18yr old daughter was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, I fought that too. These were always battles, I didn't accept the status quo, those were times when I needed to be strong and fight. And I'm really good at it. In the early stages of my diagnosis you can probably find a post of me saying 'I'm fighting to survive'. The problem with that (for me anyway, everyone is different) is this isn't a battle to be 'won'. There is no "yes, I survived that divorce" or "yes, she's 3 yrs in remission and healthy" (all good things btw). I can't go to my friends and say yep, I survived herpes, see how strong I am? I'm a badass fighter. I had to learn acceptance. And guess what, in that sentence there is no word fight. So now all of a sudden the skill I had (and perfected), that got me through tough times, wasn't the skill that was going to help me now. I had (and am still working on it) to learn to accept. This is my life. I can't wake up every morning and think, ok, what's my plan, how will I fight this today. Because it doesn't work with herpes. It can't be my primary focus, my battle, because there isn't a round to be won. What there is, is a new life to accept. And I can either choose to accept, or continue spending time and energy on trying to fight. And let me tell you, that is freaking exhausting. So when you asked....How am I supposed to repair? For me I guess there isn't a repair, there is an accept. And when you get there, it feels good, light and almost joyful, because you don't have to fight or repair, there is no fixing you. You are beautiful. Accept it :)

and yet with your brief visit, I'm cracking up. love your posts. being able to laugh through the tough times = priceless :) wishing you the best.

Yes, I have had a number of OBs on suppressive meds, in addition to the signs that one is coming. I"m now taking somewhere between and 1000 & 2000mg daily to keep it at bay. Diagnosed via swab April 29, 2014.

I don't have swollen lymph nodes behind my ear, but I do have them on right breast and under my armpit (diagnosed hsv2 via swab 2 months ago). To the extent that with a suspicious spot on mammogram recently (and the lymph node thing), I was sent for a needle biopsy just to be sure no cancer. Incredibly frustrating and super stressful. Seems because I refuse to stop cycling I'm triggering OBs, hence the swollen lymph nodes. I've been told they can be swollen for quite a few months while I develop anitbodies. Not sure if this helps, but that's what my doc said.