Seekingpeace

Thank you VE. I know time does heal and this is a good community to be in to see that in action.

Thank you Ken and Dancer. All of your words of encouragement do give me a bit of that peace that I am seeking. I found a therapist this afternoon who deals with Herpes and was lucky enough to schedule an appointment with him tonight.

Thank you whitedaisies. I am glad to hear that things are getting better for you. I know the next step is therapy and I am hoping to find someone who specializes in dealing with this specific issue.

That is so beautiful.

It's been a little over a week since I found out I was positive. I can't stop this feeling of depression and doom, despite the fact that I am surrounded by some very supportive people and also have a supportive boyfriend who is here to talk me though everything. I went to a local support group last week and it helped a little bit, but these thoughts of despair keep coming back to me over and over. I am not a kid, I am in my 40's and have three kids of my own to take care of. The depression is making it hard for me to go to work and take care of my kids. Logically, I know I can't stay in this place forever, but I just can't seem to snap out of it. I am looking for a therapist now in hopes that they can help me move forward. I feel like I know all there is to know about this disease, so I have now been obsessively looking on the internet about cure news. I came across Dr. Halford's blog and his research gives me the only sense of hope that I have felt since finding out. For everyone who has been dealing with this for a while, how long did it take to get to a positive place? I really need to hear some inspirational stories.

Thanks Orngpeelmafia, I will keep that in mind too. :)

Thank you Willow and Dancer for all of the support. You are both so strong, I hope one day soon I can have that kind of attitude. :)

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the info. I think it would be a good thing for me to go. @Dancer I will keep that in mind, thank you.

I was wondering if anyone here knows about any support groups in NYC or Long Island? I thought it might help to actually be there face to face with others going through this.

So, I was diagnosed two days ago. My mind has been reeling ever since. My bf and I are waiting on his results. He is such a wonderful person. I am 45 and have never met a more caring selfless man. We have known each other as friends for over a year before we became romantically involved 3 months ago. He has been here to wipe my tears and hold me tight and make me feel so loved. I am praying his results are negative, but I know there's a good chance I will lose him if they are. This is why I know for sure that I do love him. I want what's best for him. I so want him to tell me it will be ok and he will stay no matter what, but that is the one thing he is unable to say. I know he will always be there for me as a friend, it will be the loss of what we had until this all happened that is killing me. The intense passion and freedom to do what we want when we want, that will all be gone. And there may just be nothing but a platonic relationship left. I don't think I can handle that. That's how we started off, but seeing him with another woman is something I couldn't bear. I do feel lucky to have had those three months with him though. It has been amazing. I think partly because we knew each other so well from our long friendship. I didn't just hop in to bed with him, but we really got to know and love each other before we had sex. I feel like there is no one like him out there and I really screwed it all up. I am so mad at myself for being so weak with the man who I think gave me H. He was diagnosed and didn't want to go on antivirals or wear condoms. Why did I comply? I thought I loved him. How wrong I was. Now that I see what love really is. The thing is, I know many of you on here say that if someone can't accept you with H than they really don't love you and are showing their true colors. I don't know if I believe that. This stigma is so strong, that I feel it can make really good people run. And my bf won't run, but he may never be intimate with me again. My heart is hurting so bad.

Thank you Dancer for your kind words and good advise. I have been reading your other posts on here and you are so compassionate and knowledgeable. This is such a wonderful community to be in at this time in my life. The thing is, I should have known better, but was afraid to get blood tested and was looking to the doctors to get me off the hook. Very bad choice in retrospect. I was 43 at the time this all happened and should have gone for the blood test. I rationalized it because I didn't want to believe it. Now I need to come to terms with it and hope that the fallout for my bad decision doesn't lead to the end of my new relationship. That is good advise on getting tested before any intimacy, thank you. Thank you for your hugs.....they are definitely needed right now.

Thank you Willow for your encouraging words. I'm sorry to hear about your positive result after originally testing negative. I know it's not so bad physically to have this, its the emotional damage it's causing thats horrible. I am hopeful that I can get to the point of accepting myself like so many others on this site. Right now it just doesn't feel so great.

Hi, I was just diagnosed with HSV2 yesterday. I am sitting here now crying as I type. I have been to this site before reading posts, but never joined. I was dating a man who was HSV 1 & 2 positive 2 years ago. I was blood tested when we found out he had it, but was negative at that time. Just going for that blood test threw me into an emotional tailspin. I was so afraid, but then so relieved that I had tested negative at the time. I continued the relationship. He did not go on anti virals and we used condoms about 70% of the time. I suspected I may have caught it when I came down with flu symptoms. I went to my doctor who told me I had an ear infection and then to my gynecologist who did not think it could be herpes without any outbreak. My gyno swabbed me at the time and it came back negative. I went into a deep depression at the thought of having herpes back then and was put on anti-depressants and saw a psychiatrist and therapist to get me out of it. Because of my mental state, my doctors didn't advise blood testing. I convinced myself I was ok with what my team of 4 doctors told me. I went on without any outbreaks and just lived my life. I had always said if I got an outbreak, I would get tested. This is how I rationalized things. No outbreaks happened. I recently entered into a relationship with the most wonderful man. We had known each other as friends for over a year before becoming intimate. Recently, I had what I thought were two yeast infections. I became worried because they were so close to each other. I told my boyfriend my whole story about the man I had dated with herpes and that I had not been retested after that relationship ended. He encouraged me to go for testing. Unfortunately, my worst fears were confirmed yesterday. I am now terrified that I may have passed this on to my boyfriend and we are awaiting his test results. The guilt I feel is immense. How could I do this to the man I love? I am so ashamed and sorry for what I put him through. He seems to be standing by me despite all of it. I am an emotional wreck and he is so strong. He is worried more for me than himself. I feel so horrible....