Iowasweetheart

Hey everyone! A few days after joining the site, when I received my welcome letter from the founder of (h)opportunity, Mr. h opp himself, Adrial, I decided to send him a thank you and let him know how grateful I was to find the website here. I hope it helps someone else when they read it, and if not, I still hope you enjoy it! Iowasweetheart June 26 (2014) "Hello Adrial, What a nice welcome message! Thanks for setting me at ease and helping me feel so welcomed! . I first just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing here. Your choice to make this your life's work has changed so much for so many people about being H+, helping people all over this world, you've changed so many lives and hearts and minds with this site. I am here because two days ago, I was in search for help, and I didn't know where to go or what to even look for. I googled the phrase "How do I tell someone I have Genital Herpes" and Google pulled up your site. I COULDN'T BELIEVE the numbers of members or the copious amounts of topics and resources. When I got to the site and immediately found how much is here for me, it was great, but the best thing was how absolutely comfortable and easy it was to be here. I felt like I had found the perfect place to mend my heart over how to handle this. I was on my way to not only getting what I was searching for, but absolutely the best and most informative resources for anything you could possibly want or need, not only for yourself but also for a potential partner. I figured out right away that I was here to help learn how to have "The Talk" and also to provide the best possible resources for my love interest after I figured out how to tell him and gathered my courage. Less than 24 hours, here I am, back to tell you my outcome was amazing, a total success! I disclosed this afternoon, over a chat on Facebook, (that was his choice) and I had told him I needed to discuss something important, something that was hard to say, and would put me in a very vulnerable spot. I asked him if he wanted to meet or would he rather just discuss it over chat. I found out right away that he already figured I was going to tell him I was H+ and although I suggested a face to face opportunity to tell him, I let him decide how he wanted to communicate about a sensitive matter, letting him know up front that there were some things I needed to tell him before we discussed doing anything further emotionally or with anything physical. When I told him, his first reaction was very kind and he immediately said he was sorry to hear that was it, he had hoped it wasn't, and he made me feel like he had thought about how I was feeling.. .what a great thing to find and make me feel at ease that was! I knew at the same time almost immediately the stigma surrounding it was setting off a pretty standard reaction as well, and when I asked him if it was a deal breaker when considering anything happening beyond our talk, his first words about it were, "It doesn't change how I feel about you but at the same time, I can't imagine getting it on purpose either", (not bad, not bad at all.. it was really fine) and so I took a deep breath, and used my practice dialog I had thought about prior to talking to him and I just followed your advice about how to open up the lines of communication for a healthy discussion and disarm the tension. I could begin then to give him more facts about it all and asked him to please put aside what he thinks he already knows, and actually find out the facts about all there is to know. He became willing right away to do his own research and agreed to do that and then think it over, so I gave him the website link and asked him to start with the video. I also asked him to get the disclosure and discussion e-books and then told him to look around at the discussion forum and informational blog... I think he's really open minded and super smart, and even if he chooses not to date me (he already indicated that he still wants to before he even checks here for info) I am truly, honestly ok with whatever his decision is, as long as he gets as much information as he can to make an informed one. I couldn't have done it without coming here first and getting completely prepared on how I was going to do this without losing my integrity and trust with him, it was important that I find a way to do it and keep those important things in tact. Right after, he commented to me how much he respected me for being up front and honest, he told me that he knew it couldn't have been easy, and he said he was proud of me for having the guts to do it. Hearing him say all this made it worth every anxious tear, every deep breath and all the worry, the uncertainty, the fear of rejection, all the things I had leading up to "The Talk", his reaction after made it all worthwhile. I had an added bonus too, one I wasn't expecting either. The best part wasn't how well that turned out, it was coming out of it with confidence, knowing I can truly handle this with no problem, even feel a potential for a future with H+ and I can keep moving forward, knowing its possible to find love again, I don't have to be alone forever. I didn't think I could ever do this two days ago. Hell, I didn't think I would even try it at all before he came along. It was the first time since being diagnosed in 2008 that I had been single, I wasn't even looking for anyone, didn't have a bit of desire to get involved because of the thought of telling someone, I had given up any notion of this. But facing the truth and finding a way to get through this without anyone getting hurt, that was so special to experience that! This wonderful guy was a total surprise when he came along. He was an old love I hadn't seen since I was a teen. Two days ago, he found me on Facebook after 33 years and within 5 minutes of chatting, he admitted he'd always been in love with me-had spent his whole life thinking about how in love he had been. He even told me after we talked that even to this day he's felt like we should have been together for the past 30 years, missing out the whole time. The connection and chemistry between us was obvious, and having him tell me how beautiful I was, how attracted he was to me, it ignited something in me that was so sweet and special. Just hearing someone out there had been thinking of me for so many years, thats good stuff! I told him if I had only known I totally would have went out with him had he asked me, and its not time for regrets about it, but If only he would have faced the fear and told me he loved me all those years ago, who knows what could have been? I don't live in the past and wont allow myself to use negative dialog or any "I wish I had" or "if only" type thoughts, because I know there is no point, its a waste of my time and energy. I am not hateful or bitter with my truth of who I am truly happy with the company I keep in those empty moments, but I never could have been ok with the thought of never enjoying love again. Moving on with acceptance and courage is my only option if I hope to be happy. Well, before I close, I just want you to know how much I love this website, especially the section on success stories OMG! Talk about giving a person hope after H+ status! I can't even find the words to express what this website means to me, but I think you already know. THANK YOU AGAIN for choosing to spend your life doing this important, meaningful job. You totally rock. Hugs and Love, Lisa Anne. (Iowasweetheart)