Athena

I can copy and paste everything but it'd take like 30 entries. Is there any way I can post it somewhere?

https://www.facebook.com/notes/happy-social-and-vibrant/h-facebook-groups/729456850401530 Ok so here's the deal. There are a ton of private facebook groups where only people that are "invited" and "group members" can see what you type, post, are tagged in etc. in these groups. If you can't look up the groups the names of those in charge of them are there. Send them a message and they'll invite you! They have socials and provide a general forum to talk to others in your area or within your area of interest. There's even a CRUISE FOR THOSE WITH HERPES!! OMGGGGGG I'M GOING! Now go forth and be happy :D

@WCSDancer you got that right! H-wingman to the rescue! He's been texting me non-stop and I told him I can't see him any more. I thought I would leave dating situations because of H before I left them because of the other person! Boy was I wrong :p

Well, long story short: Met hot doctor dude on pof, talked on phone for about 40+ hrs over five days, got shut down when he brought up how H would be a deal breaker which led to first accidental rejection. Figured I'd be friends with him anyways and perhaps educate his ignorant ass. He's driven three times (1.5 hrs each way) to see me. Update: Last night I had my last friendly "date-ish" with him. But not for why you think. I could tell it wasn't going to go much further so I thought what the hell and told him. His response???? Him: "Oh ya, well, I think I might have it too but orally." Internal monologue: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Mofo you just told me weeks ago how scared you were of H and how it'd be a deal breaker!!! *ahem* Me: "Have you ever been tested?" Him: "No I only had outbreaks when I was younger so it's no big deal and it may not even be that but they looked like little blisters on the edge of my mouth." Me: ".....*gasp*" ...then proceeded to give him statistics. "Buuuuuuuut would you have told me that if I hadn't told you?" Him: "Probably not its not a big deal right?" .........!!!!!!!!!! THEN later on in the night we get to talking about ex's and he tells me that he wouldn't be upset if his ex wife ended up in the hospital after being beaten up by the man that she left him for....... *STUNNED* I speechlessly got up, left the table and restaurant and took my ass home. *INSERT EXPLETIVES HERE* I'm SO GLAD I told him and found out who he really was! Talk about saving me time! Crazy folk out there! NEXT!

@whitedaisies that's still great progress! I hope it's AMAZING :D @Kaybee just do it! I promise you'll feel better :) Join the group I linked and just take a look at events that are posted. Most seemed to be late 20s- early 40s for the particular meet up I went to. But that doesn't mean there aren't younger ones too!

@Dancer will do! Most of the groups don't have "herpes" directly in the name but have "H" or something somewhat related to it. There are hundreds of social networking groups on fb that are "secret" that you have to be invited to and everyone posts about 10+ activities a week in any city you are in :D

@kaybee make a meetup.com account (don't link your facebook account to it and you can hide your groups if you like so no one can search them). The group link is: It takes a day or two to get approved since it is a "private/secret" group but the organizer is AMAZING and everyone is really friendly and incredible. @Whitedaisies seriously love, give it a try *heart* @Seeker, when you are ready go out and do it! It's the second best thing I did for myself after I found out (after joining this forum of course)!

I apologize for the repetitiveness and jumbled speech lol im more than a bit tipsy after too many rounds of delicious shots :D But please go, you are not alone. Sometimes seeing others in person who are going through and have been through what you are experiencing can really drive home that you CAN and WILL get through this.

Seriously! Go out! I joined a meetup group for people with H in San Diego and WOW! I am sooooo glad I did! There were 30ish people there and let me tell you: It didn't feel like a dreary, depressing, emo gathering for a funeral! Everyone was vibrant, happy and beaming with happiness! I think often times we can feel like we are having to deal with all of this on our own and while forums are helpful and a source of positivity, we can forget that there are real people living happily with this. I have been inspired, motivated and filled with hope. It felt just like any other social gathering i've been to but with one key difference: everyone was genuinely happy and full of real support and understanding. They meet at restaurants, go scuba diving, snorkeling, whale watching, hiking, hold parties and game nights JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Not only that, but apparently there are GIGANTIC SOCIAL NETWORKS for people with H where people meet IRL all over the freaking place. For those of you that feel alone and unable to talk to people....I would STRONGLY STRONGLY STRONGLY encourage you to go out and join some of these groups. Go. See them face to face and take a deep breath and comfort in that you can talk honestly and openly about everything to people who won't judge you and who understand. Please. Please. Please. Go. Do not fall victim to your own sadness and woe. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. ....and you know what? I got three numbers from some GORGEOUS MEN that were at the get together ;) and the best part? I won't have to worry about them running away when we have "the talk." :D

Great thread! I see quite often on this site that a large number of people got it either by someone who didn't tell them they had it, didn't know they had it or something of the like. I, like the two of you, was told by my partner that he had it. We went and got educated together about it and learned all that we could and decided after some time that since he was on suppressive therapy that condoms weren't necessary any longer...... He didn't know that he had to take his pill every day and he neglected to tell me that he had gone a week without taking it...I often feel stupid for trusting and not using condoms. It was a definite error in judgment on my part. But I figured that we had been together for 8 months without a condom and he was on the pill, what could go wrong, right? -_- I wonder how many others like me will willingly take the chance and moreover, how will I not be ridden with guilt if someone wants to go there with me? I was in their shoes and I still got it. @Unbroken I love your post!! Thank you so much for that insight! Truly needed and appreciated <3

/cheer! Thank you! I needed to see this today :)

Update: He JUST left. After WEEKS of talking about it, about going THERE with my best friend. He came and spent three days here. Laughter, good food, friends, took him to his first nude beach with two of my girlfriends :D. Good trip. First night we were both nervous. Not about the sex but about the smallest little kiss that'd cross the line between friends to..closerrrrrrrrrrrr friends. Here's the jist: He knew, he was ok with and educated about it and we both wanted it. We were intimate and it was so COMFORTABLE. so nice. BUT, we did NOT have sex. He asked how I felt about it and I told him that it hasn't yet been 6 months since diagnosis and I want to be as careful as possible so, i'm not ready. He said he wanted to be with me like that very much but that he respects me and whatever decision I make, that he wasn't mad or disappointed but that he supports and is there for me. You know what?! What @Dancer has said is true!!!! We were JUST AS INTIMATE IF NOT MORESO just exploring each other in THAT way. We didn't have sex. We were closer than that. I can't really explain how I feel right now. HERPES IS NOT AN AUTOMATIC DENIAL. IT IS A...GIFT? WTF? A GIFT? You really do find out about who really gives a shit about you and what their real intentions are. Someone who really cares about you...won't give a flying fuck. I'm the one that said no...not him. He still wanted to. It wasn't even a concern. This was the best possible outcome that could have occurred and i'm happy for knowing that herpes...can actually have a beautiful silver lining. Be happy and have hope <3

First of all, take a deep breath lovey. It's going to be ok!! I promise. Secondly, you did the right thing by having it checked out and knowing so that you can take the correct steps to heal and educate yourself. I'm so sorry that they were harassing you! That really infuriates me. Here's something I want you to consider though: If you tell him, and I suggest that you do, don't worry about him telling people and making your life hell. Think of how it'd make him look to his friends who already know that you slept together! It'd be obvious that he gave it to you and it would only make him look bad. If he decided to tell people it'd only backfire on him. Telling him in private face to face would be my suggestion. OR at the very least, ask him about his sexual history and if he's ever had any cold sores? He may just not know he has it. It will be ok. I promise. *hugs*

Update: He's coming next Monday! We've talked even more about it and he's still more than ok with it :D I'm really excited!

@all I CANNOT possibly express how grateful I am for you guys and this community! Thank you for the comfort, wisdom and compassion. I woke up today feeling a bit better and realized that ya, while it sucks that i'm having an OB and no SO to make me feel wanted/loved etc. and that...it doesn't exactly look pretty... the pain is not even 2% of what I experienced during my first OB! It's manageable. And i'll be OK! Thank you for the responses and personal messages. They really truly do make ALL OF THE DIFFERENCE <3