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Ratpack1904

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Everything posted by Ratpack1904

  1. Hi sasssy , Your not alone . when I found out I was like 21 almost 22 . My first outbreak I experienced flu symptoms . I also had a bump which I assumed was a razor bump at first but when I got swab tested it was a different story . I felt really alone & I hated everyone & everything . I isolated myself . It was hard to deal with at first . I would try to wash myself alot avoid touching things . I felt contagious to everyone . Over time it got better . I opened up to people . I realized I wasn't alone when someone close to me told their story . Dating its hard . I've been on std dating sites & pof . It's the same you still have to deal with disclosing & people's opinions . But before all that give yourself sometime to find yourself & what you really want . Herpes isn't the end of it all . You find safer ways of having sex . Also working on becoming a better you . Healing does take time . I have bad days but also very good days . Today sucked. I'm on my period & have an outbreak . I feel like crap . But I'm being optimistic . As for treating it. There's prescribed meds available . Exercise helps but right now I'm having an outbreak from hell so I'm resting on that . Ultimately this virus is triggered by stress so try to be healthy mentally . My outbreaks at this point since. I'm healing from a c section , are frequent . But with that said I stress alot even though I try not to . I have a toddler doing random stuff all the time. Overtime it will become easier just say educated on h & stay positive .
  2. I feel you and could relate all my friends love to party and meet people . Before h I was always willing to party & " mingle". Years later in still finding myself holding back . I always make excuses and flake on almost every attempt to be social . Yes I know it's hurting me . But I always think like if I do go out and meet someone around my friends . I get this feeling in my stomach to automatically push them away cause if I get too deep they will out my secret . I know it's paranoia & probably won't happen but I can't chance it . I have forced myself into situations & it is uneasy at times . I also understand wanting to have a deep conversation with someone & too fully be open . I did have that once but it didn't work out . Mostly by my actions looking back . All i can say is from experience start off with baby steps . If something makes you uncomftorable socially follow your instinct . Don't cut yourself off .. Cause then you will be alone with your thoughts & it does nt help . It really sucks . Right now I have like 5 people I can open up too not romantically with them but it's a safe zone for me . But ultimately do what makes you comftorable & approach things slowly .
  3. I haven't been on here in a minute. And honestly I was feeling this way today just how your feeling . So I came here to gain something other than stay in my bed and eat cheesecake . Like all the other posts before overtime it does get better . Yes somedays it's hard and other days you forget you have it . Just hang in there and surround yourself with positive people . It's okay to have meltdowns we all do . As for romantic relations. Give it time the right people who understand will come . I experienced the same circumstances . Just do whatever it takes to find peace & good things will benefit from it
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  5. This was me when I first found out I had herpes . I was in pof & std dating sites . But after awhile stuff just got repeatative . I used ps alot & pof .I got tired of disclosing & being in fear of rejection . It seems like it's the end of the world but seriously there's 6.8 billion people in the world . Sorry if I got all cosmos lol . There's always going to be someone for anyone . I threw myself into college & art . There's always friends , hobbies just treat yourself . Spoil yourself & focus on what you really want Even I had to learn & I'm still learning . Even now I'm a single mom with a newborn . I was like shit not only do I have herpes but I'm a single mom . I had my worries but once people found out the father wasn't involved its like I got hit on alot more . It's weird. . Looking back I wish I took things slow . Mainly for emotional reasons worrying about acceptance stressed me out & caused depression . Which caused frequent outbreaks . But my opinion as a woman now days just love yourself & do what's best for you . Make sure you feel complete & amazing before anything .
  6. Reading this makes me so happy . This is awesome congrats
  7. @wcsdancer 2010 : Thankyou & yeah my boss is pretty awesome . He def taught me alot & gave me Hope. Especially seeing his relationship & how happy he was . I chose not to be on meds during my pregnancy . But i also get frequent outbreaks where the baby would come in contact if I gave natural birth . So I asked for the c - section . I just didn't want to risk anything .
  8. In 2011 I contracted herpes simplex 2 from my ex . We were serious but he also seriously cheated on me . Despite all that we remained friends until last month . ( yes taboo, I know ) . I was defestated , angry , depressed . I shut down cried everyday . I hated everyone & everything . I had a darker outlook on life . My ex idk he was the first person I told but I didn't go out blaming him . I wanted him to admit it with no pressure from me . In a sick way he gave me advice on coping & dating . He claimed he still loved me while with someone else . A yr later he messaged me panicking saying his gf ( now wife / babies mother ) was pist cause she found a bump while shaving . ( just like how I found out I was infected ) . Yeahhhh . That time period was rough being abstenent but also embarrassed . I would break down at work & my boss confronted me . I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him I had herpes . He was like bitch I do too. He told me his story & about being healthy & being treated . For a whole month he kept up with me making sure I was doing treatment . For once I didn't feel alone. Coping for me i turned to heavy body modification & crazy hair colors .I finally felt able to get back into dating . Let me just say dating people with herpes or without is no different . Everyone has something wrong with them . So dont assume its always you . Example: I got serious with this guy he knew of my condition & accepted me . We were extremely Intimate. Then he pulled away from the relationship . He had a brain illness I didn't know about at the time & deceased last yr . Dating is weird but honesty is the key role just be honest . Even if its embarassing . I've witnessed lots of judgment especially at school . Like we went over a lesson about diseases . Classmates saying " eww or those kind of people , gift that keeps on giving , fire crotch . Shit like that gets to me but fuck em that's why I keep it to myself and only choice people know . A recent event I got knocked up . By a dude I was in the midst of marrying . I felt like I finally found someone but nope. Every courthouse wedding appointment we had he would dodge. It got embarassing to keep reacheduling friends & fam . Then insult to injury he wanted an undocumented " anarchist style wedding " which was a certificate from a Christian store & claim I'm his wife & do a real wedding later . I left & then shortly found out I was prego . Also he was with his ex and cheated on me also awol from the military . And my herpes was an issue after all. I carried on this pregnancy alone . Herpes only affects the pregnancy if its your first initial outbreak ever or if you have sex with someone who has it while prego ( why) lol . Yes I had an c section & my kid is healthy & awesome . Life with herpes it took me time to realize . It doesn't hold you back. It's okay to cry to be mad & lost . I've learned to be positive about it . Cause dead or alive that shits gonna be with me . People who can't accept it kick em to the curve don't give them a second thought . Also don't just jump into shit your not ready for . Learn to love yourself , get on medication . if you have noone to vent too vent here . I'm proud I'm not where I use to be . Just keep your head up.
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