In 2011 I contracted herpes simplex 2 from my ex . We were serious but he also seriously cheated on me . Despite all that we remained friends until last month . ( yes taboo, I know ) . I was defestated , angry , depressed . I shut down cried everyday . I hated everyone & everything . I had a darker outlook on life . My ex idk he was the first person I told but I didn't go out blaming him . I wanted him to admit it with no pressure from me . In a sick way he gave me advice on coping & dating . He claimed he still loved me while with someone else . A yr later he messaged me panicking saying his gf ( now wife / babies mother ) was pist cause she found a bump while shaving . ( just like how I found out I was infected ) . Yeahhhh . That time period was rough being abstenent but also embarrassed . I would break down at work & my boss confronted me . I couldn't hold it in anymore so I told him I had herpes . He was like bitch I do too. He told me his story & about being healthy & being treated . For a whole month he kept up with me making sure I was doing treatment . For once I didn't feel alone.
Coping for me i turned to heavy body modification & crazy hair colors .I finally felt able to get back into dating . Let me just say dating people with herpes or without is no different . Everyone has something wrong with them . So dont assume its always you . Example: I got serious with this guy he knew of my condition & accepted me . We were extremely Intimate. Then he pulled away from the relationship . He had a brain illness I didn't know about at the time & deceased last yr . Dating is weird but honesty is the key role just be honest . Even if its embarassing . I've witnessed lots of judgment especially at school . Like we went over a lesson about diseases . Classmates saying " eww or those kind of people , gift that keeps on giving , fire crotch . Shit like that gets to me but fuck em that's why I keep it to myself and only choice people know .
A recent event I got knocked up . By a dude I was in the midst of marrying . I felt like I finally found someone but nope. Every courthouse wedding appointment we had he would dodge. It got embarassing to keep reacheduling friends & fam . Then insult to injury he wanted an undocumented " anarchist style wedding " which was a certificate from a Christian store & claim I'm his wife & do a real wedding later . I left & then shortly found out I was prego . Also he was with his ex and cheated on me also awol from the military . And my herpes was an issue after all. I carried on this pregnancy alone . Herpes only affects the pregnancy if its your first initial outbreak ever or if you have sex with someone who has it while prego ( why) lol . Yes I had an c section & my kid is healthy & awesome .
Life with herpes it took me time to realize . It doesn't hold you back. It's okay to cry to be mad & lost . I've learned to be positive about it . Cause dead or alive that shits gonna be with me . People who can't accept it kick em to the curve don't give them a second thought . Also don't just jump into shit your not ready for . Learn to love yourself , get on medication . if you have noone to vent too vent here . I'm proud I'm not where I use to be . Just keep your head up.