Mandymoon I completely get why your saying about some "veterans" being such an inspiration, and others scaring me because they have struggled with it for so long. I've thought about that a lot and I've decided that i'm not going to LET this get the best of me and let this control me for the rest of my life.
After all life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% how we react to it. Yeh some days i just want to stay in bed, but i don't let myself.
as for your concerns about not doing "skin to skin", new mothers are so hard on themselves. You are definitely your own biggest critic! I don't have my own kids, and i'm sure i'll be exactly the same, but I've worked in Family Support work and you're not alone!