TheFoundOne

Hey Erica and Swimgirl, You're right this community is a God send. It's beautiful that we ALL have one another. Seriously, everyone here helped me up at my lowest point and if i could go to each and everyone of you and hug you i would! *virtual hugs to all* Erica, yes my symptoms were HORRENDOUS and believe it or not i'm still not over it all and it's been almost one month of non stop illness. You aren't alone hun because yes, our symptoms sound almost identical and boy do they suck! I'm on Valtrex now and have 4 more pills more until i'm done. I WILL NEVER forget how horrible it was to not be able to pee. I'm not suffering from severe constipation :( Pee is great but now it's the other end! Dr said it's all from the herpes since it affects nerves. Erica, as hard as it is, and i'll be the first to admit it, you must try to keep your head up. Heaven knows i'm still angry, scared, confused and just FED UP but Lelani and Breathe are right, They're right about positive thinking, changing lifestyle and first and foremost forgivness. It's all shit i swear i know but girls, what can we do? we have to fight H and say '' THIS WILL NOT BE THE END OF ME!'' we have to stay strong and positive as hard as that is. Life WILL get better and i'm really starting to believe that. Sending you all so much love! xxx

Hey guys! First off, I hope all of you are doing well , staying strong and living life to the fullest. I'm beyond grateful for all the wonderful responses and messages i have recieved since joining the h forum. You all make me feel so much better with each day and not so alone. I feel like i have a new family here :) Ok, so I'm a little confused between HSV1 and HSV2. I had a shingles outbreak when i was 11 yrs old. It was tingly and all over my chest. Never had another outbreak since i was 11 and never had cold sores. Now when my gyno told me about my H, it wasn't where she sat me down and explained everything to me in detail. She was in a rush to get home and told me i was positive and handed me my prescription for Zovirax. I was crying trying to get some information but she said she'd discuss everything with me in 1 weeks time. HORRIBLE experience as i honestly left the clinic in tears and confused with EVERYTHING. I called today as i wanted to go in earlier to discuss everything but they told me she's gone on 2 weeks leave! so i don't even get to see her in a week. I have to wait 2. I'm a little confused with my results ,any input would be great. I think i'll change doctors because i felt SHIT with the way she told me and treated me. Whether it was intentional or not i just feel it to be unprofessional. My Blood work reads - HSV 1&2 IgG, serum by CLIA - NEGATIVE (Less than 0.50) then HSV 1&2 IgM, serum by CLIA - POSITIVE (1.12) RECHECKED. What's the difference between the above? what's different about IgG and IgM? Is it like chronic and acute? is that the difference? also shouldn't it be specific for HSV1 AND 2? why RECHECKED? If you could give me your input that would be great. Anything related to my shingles when i was 11 yrs old? Thank you guys. Just stressing and pissed off with my gyno. I'm shocked she just left without even calling to tell me to reschedule for our talk! It was all very 'you have herpes , take this med, go home and don't stress' - basically. She has been great for years but very dissapointed with the way she disclosed this to me and honestly based on this.. thinking of finding a new dr!!

Breathe and Lelani, you guys have NO idea how much your words have helped me. As much as i'm in a confused state of mind i'm so so happy i found this site and even happier that the kindness of strangers extends across oceans and seas. I feel like now i may not 'belong' anymore but honestly after reading your sweet comments i feel like i now have another family. Breathe, i'm one hell of a STRESSER lol i stress over the tiniest things so you can imagine how stressed i was when found out about my H. My whole body went on full alert and i was a walking /talking panic attack. I took 3 valiums that day to just CALM me down. The antivirals are HORRIBLE. I feel so so TIRED but ive read lots online and they say antivirals are rather strong and will cause fatigue. I hear myself saying 'How am I ever going to accept this? What the hell has happened to my life?!' as you had mentioned too. Ive been thinking this over and over but you're right, i need to start HEALING on the inside and change the way i think. I do believe things will get better but im so inpatient i want things to be better right this second. Every night i used to pray that i wake up in perfect health but i guess i fucked up a little and not all prayers are answered. I have to work on getting the self hatred out of me more than anything. I'm so sorry that you're going through a divorce and stressing :( My heart goes out to you, breathe. Lelani, thank you for the love and i'm sending love right back out to you. I guess i have to think of H as a blessing in disguise and as you said keep the people i love around and get rid of things that make me sad. On a positive note i think you guys will be happy to know that i PEED today !! lol, omg i never ever knew how amazing the feeling of a good pee was until today! Hope i never have to deal with urinary retention/infection with another outbreak again. No more catheters for me ! ps- I think i will end up changing my name to 'TheFoundOne' :) You guys are amazing. Thank you for the love and support. No idea how much i appreciate it. Hugs and kisses xxx

Hi Alone!! SingBlueSilver is right we're all in the same boat and yes boy oh boy does it SUCK! I'm new to H and going through my first outbreak and wow, never felt so shitty in my life! i'm on zovirax too so i'm hoping it's as good as my dr says it is. I'm really sorry you're suffering with so many outbreaks hun :( i really hope the zovirax works quick and you feel better SOON. Good thing you're going out with your girlfriends :) go have lots of fun and forget!! I really think psychology plays a big part on H. My dr even told me just get on as normal and try not to think about it ( easier said than done i know lol) but you know what? FUCK H! let's not let it control US. Let's not give it that power. If H was infront of me id tell it to go fuck itself lol I'm super pissed off myself cause i had a shit day with H so i TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. You are not alone at all because EVERY SINGLE PERSON HERE can relate , never think you are alone. We're one big family :) I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel with 3 outbreaks in a short period of time but i agree with you, go out and have fun and just push it to the back of your mind. Wishing you a great and happy weekend. Sending you love and hugs and i hope you feel better SOON!! xxxx

SingBlueSilver, yes its fucking SUCKS BAD :( !! I'm taking my meds and my dr said i won't get this bad ever since first Outbreaks are the worst ones. Urgh yes i have a bladder infection too..i swear ive lost 2kg in the past 15 days from all the symptoms put together, it's just horrible. I pray that we ALL get through life as if nothing at all is wrong and if H doesn't exist. i hopeour outbreaks be rare and Barely there. Ive had H a total of about 15 days and i'm waiting for the day i wake up and feel like ME again. I NEVER want to have another bladder infection or peeing issue :( it really is just horrible. Hopefully my meds kick in soon and i'll be rid of this stupid peeing issue ! Hugs right back and sending LOVE xxx

Lenlani Thank you for your love and yes, as shitty as i feel i think it's time i got up and brushed myself off and quit feeling sorry for myself. I think once i feel better and not so weak i'll get back into gym and get back to living a healthy lifestyle which i was up until 2 months ago. I let myself go in terms of health and i think gym will help lift my spirits too. I peed a LITTLE easier today and NO catheter thank GOD lol I promise you i'll start nurturing myself and I'll keep you posted on how i do. I HATE these antivirals :( my whole body is in YUCK mode! Fingers crossed i dont have another ob for a LONG LONG TIME! Guess i can just think that i will never have to suffer THIS BAD with H again. I'll have a glass of wine to wave my first ob a farewell ! Hugs and love xxxx

Have the ob's gotten better over time? Meaning can you even compare them to your initial ob? I'm so glad your baby was born healthy and you didn't have to go through a c-section :) Heard recovery for c-sections is much harder and very painful! Also yes, i have noticed that when people talk about a cold sore no one even think twice or look at them different even though it still is H but when H goes down below it's all of a sudden a dirty,nasty 'only sluts get it' kind of skin condition! I call it ignorance and a lack of education. I just seem to be suffering with a horrendous first ob. I just got back from ER again for ANOTHER catheter :( Dr said once antivirals kick in i should be able to urinate normally again and won't suffer like this with the next ob. Urgh, it's such a horrible experience but i'm trying to stay positive and hoping these meds work ASAP.

Hey Kaande , Oh my gosh yes, the aches and pains were horrendous. Exactly what you had described. I felt like i had run a marathon and i couldn't walk 3-4 metres without killer aches and muscular pains. Those have gone now but i'm suffering with lower abdominal pain and urine retention. AHHH guess everyone has different kinds of ob but they ALL suck. I pray that this ob will be the worst one for LIFE since ive read that the first is always the worst and most severe. Guess my body is just super pissed at it lol You're lucky to have had 2 ob and i'll keep my fingers crossed that i'm lucky as you to maybe just get this one and not another ob for a long while. I'll try dumping water whilst peeing maybe it'll encourage the flow. AHH the things i used to take for granted like peeing a river in 10 seconds flat lol now it's a drop in 5 minutes :( Hopefully it'll pass. I will keep my head up and honestly with each msg get i feel more and more positive. Yes, you were a great help and you seriously made me feel better. Lol, as for my bf im meeting him tomorrow for a BIG and serious talk! He's getting tested on saturday NO excuses at all.

Hey guys, I'm a 29 yr old female and I'm going through my first herpes outbreak. Been suffering for about 11-12 days now but got blood work back today and tested positive. I wasn't that surprised since my Gyno already had her suspicions and all my symptoms matched that of herpes type 2. Thing is im suffering from real bad urinary retention to the point where i had to go to ER last night for a catheter. I posted this and my full story on the discussion board but i haven't had any responses yet :( I REALLY want to know if any of you guys suffered with the inability to pass urine during your first outbreak. Used dr google and ive read that indeed it can cause this. Anyone else? Ideas? Will the antivirals help /solve this problem. I think im too young to walk around with a pee bag strapped to my leg lol Also please if you get the chance read my story, i posted it on the discussion board titled 'herpes positive..here it goes...'' HOWEVER, thank you to the two angels who did private msg me :) Every single one of you is wonderful, just reading through all the msgs of hope and encouragment makes me feel a whole lot better. so... pee talk? lol HELP! - NEED TO PEE. Sending lots of hugs to all of you xx

Sending you lots of love Carlos x

Hey everyone. First of all i'm so thankful to have found this forum. I have been ill for 9 days now with what was thought to be a UTI but my symptoms got worse to the point of me avoiding to go bathroom because A) it stung like HELL and B) it would take forever for me to actually pee. My lymph nodes swelled up and i just felt like trash. Ive had one UTI before at 23 (i'm 29) and i even knew something wasn't right. I went back to my dr and she told me she suspected i had herpes because my urine culture came back clean so it wasn't a UTI. My swollen groin nodes, fatigue, pain on urination, feeling of full bladder then unable to pee and along with malaise she told me i needed a blood test for Herpes type2. As the results would take time i have had nothing to do but drive myself insane with worry, argue with my bf and abuse the google tool bar with searches. Yesterday i started getting severe body aches and chills, my back is still killing me and so is my buttocks. I now have tiny blisters on my butt. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. I called my doctor and she told me to come in tomorrow so she can check it out but told me her suspicions seem to be correct and that in all reality i need to start anti virals which she'll prescribe me tomorrow. I was hoping i wouldn't get any welts or blisters so to see them now.. im just crushed. My blood tests results won't be back for another 6 days but i'll get a diagnoses tomorrow just based on the look of the blisters plus my other illnesses the past 9 days. I JUST FEEL SO ALONE & helpless and SCARED. My bf had oral sex with a girl 2 months before him and i got together and i hadn't slept with anyone for 6 months prior. I was safe with that man but because im OCD and a germaphobe i still did a full STD check and got the all clear. I couldn't have gotten it from anyone else yet my bf insists he was tested BEFORE oral with this girl. I mean this drove me MAD because oral can transmit majority of STD's. My boyfriend and i just got together a month ago so the timeline fits. I'm being serious does he think i'm magically going to be crippled with pain. I shit you not yesterday and today have been HELL. i'm in so much pain. My body is aching and ive had a migraine non stop. If i start anti virals tomorrow will they make these aches and pains go away? I'm able to pee now with no burning but it just seems like it's one thing after another. Are initial outbreaks this bad? ive been sick for 9 days now & i can't imagine dealing with recurrences like this for life? Please anyone let me know and talk to me. I can't talk to anyone about this because i feel i'll be looked as a slut or whore which i'm not. UPDATE: I got the results and i tested positive. My bf's reaction? '' I'M STILL SKEPTICAL" what does he even fucking mean?!! I told him for his own sake to go get tested. I took my first Zovirax Pill (400mg) and i got another 4 to go. 5pills a day for 5 days. I was in hospital last night because i lost the ability to pee totally. Had to insert a catheter in me. WILL THIS ALL GO AWAY? PLEASE ANYONE HELP! Iv'e been crying all day and my best friend has been a help but i don't know what to do now. I don't even want to talk to my boyfriend right now because i'll smother him with a pillow. I feel like a part of me died. Thank you for taking the time to read this xx