Reachout2014

I'm not sure of the type which is why I'm getting it tested tomorrow. I'll let you know!

Hello Everyone! I know it's been ages since I've posted. So far life has been crazy but mostly good. For anyone new to my story I was diagnosed with HSV2 four years ago. Since then, I've regained my strength, disclosed, embraced the idea, stopped. Wong afraid of it and am in a relationship where it'll never be the focus. Well, my world has been turned upside down again...this morning I woke up with a sore bump just at the edge of my lip. I'll be getting it swabbed tomorrow...I'm sure I know what it is. I'm just not sure which strain of the virus...but I'm stuck at square one. Feeling awful unsafe feelings. I'm not sure how I even contracted it. Unless bf has the virus dormant. Or I got it from a restaurant glass- I don't share. The only thing I've changed in my routine is my lip liners I ordered a new pack on amazon but I figure that was sterile when I received it.idk. I'm feeling fear because I'm not sure how to wash my face now without virus spreading to the eyes and how paranoid I have to be about my make up now. I love make up and general skin care. But I'm afraid of applying foundation anywhere beneath my nose because if I ever use my beauty blender or brush ever after that I'll have virus in my eyes. Is this being paranoid? Do I need to throw away lipsticks I've used in the last week? Do I have to have separate wash rags and brushes for the bottom of my face and keep brushes from touching other brushes? I'm blind in one eye, have been since birth and fear this virus taking away my sight: it's tsktj away some sexual courage, now my make up passion. I just don't want to lose my eyes too...:-( Amy help or suggestions welcome.

See As89? You are on your way! Realizing the positives of h is a step in the right direction. No need to rush yourself in feeling 100 percent ok. Take your time! Your feelings are valid and we all experience things a little differently! Keep your chin up! (Hugs)

Hi there friend! I think most of us have been where you stand right now. You aren't dillusional for having these feelings. I will tell you that it does get better with time. Honestly it took me about 4 months to exit the constantly thinking about herpes phase. We have good and bad days with it. I'm glad your boyfriend is there for you through this: I'm sure if you needed to talk things out with him he'd be happy to listen if it makes you feel better. Know that you are not going to ruin his life whether you pass on h or not. Herpes isn't a death sentence and does not ruin lives. I know that it's hard not to feel the initial shock and let the stigma eat at you for a while but try to relax and take things in stride. Remember your facts. You are beautiful. Heroes does not make one gross or less than anyone else. Herpes is a skin condition, thankfully your symptoms are minimal, your partner accepts you for who you are! If you are ever feeling down or need a buddy I and the rest of the forum are here for ya.

Thanks guys! @As89, try to relax about disclosing! I know in the beginning it seems very difficult. I was very nervous post early diagnosis. But I'm sure you know your facts and I'm sure you are a great person! The right one will reveal themself. As dancer often says herpes is a great wingman. If someone can't handle a pesky skin condition they probably wouldn't be able to handle some of the more important challenges life has to offer. Keep you head up and if you ever want to talk or have questions, just shoot me a message! @2legit2quit, I love your name! I didn't always take things in stride. I used to be exceptionally paranoid and couldn't let a pimple just be a pimple. Lol but time is the best teacher. My guy helps too. He's really been a voice of reason and continues to remind me that there is no need to be insanely upset over a couple of bumps that are temporary! I'm happy to come to a safe place here with positive uplifting people who know exactly what I'm going through!

Thank you both for your comments. This really helps. Post about the 4 month mark and us both being tested for stds. We haven't used confirms much as he hates them, we are monogomous and both understand our risks (well his at the time). I also used suppressives for a while last year before we met but slowly quit taking them as they gave me headaches and I don't love the idea of my body being super reliant on valtrex. I've only had two outbreaks. We discussed all of this back in January and I would have taken the meds if he wanted me to but he was pretty adamant that he'd prefer me not to. Honestly we both sort of expected this to happen because the day after we were intimate before his outbreak, I had one sneak up on me. I'm very in tune with my body and typically know when good old h is coming. I had a slight feeling that it was coming and expressed that to him but I guess we were both weak and we thought I might have been over analyzing things! Oops. So far he's taking it like a champ! His symptoms seem far less severe than my first one was. He's been very calm and sweet actually. He says he feels even closer because we have the silly thing in common. We used tea tree oil, bactine and valtrex so far and things look to be healing up! Again we really could have prevented this. So if anyone is nervous we were pretty sexually active like maybe 4-5 times a week for months with little protection and it took him 9 months to get it! So if you keep aware and take preventative measures you should be ok. Though we have no regrets. H hasn't ruined anything. If anything we've bonded a bit over it :)

Many views but anyone else in our boats?

Hello there everyone! Boy it's been a while! I haven't been on the boards in ten months or so but I'm back with news and yet again, more questions. I have had my hsv2 for over a year now and I'm definitely in a better place and have a waaaaay better outlook on things. Granted I do feel like I'm one of the lucky ones I've only had two other outbreaks since my initial. But that is beside the point. Since last I wrote, that wonderful guy that I disclosed to in December is now my boyfriend of almost 10 months. So for those of you thinking you won't find someone due to this virus-don't tell yourself that lie. It's a skin condition not a death sentence and if someone truly cares, they won't run. I have found that the virus itself isn't too difficult to manage. Most times I forget I have it. But on to the reason I'm here. My boyfriend and are are pretty sexually active. He was H free and I've done my part to keep him safe. He has a great attitude and seems to care less about me having it and him contracting it. Well three days ago he got his first outbreak. He seems very calm about the situation and nothing has really changed. We know it's hsv2 as we have both been screened for all stds including herpes and it's that classic appearance. We both know it was from me. So here are my/his questions? 1. Since the virus is new in him should we be insanely cautious with sex as not to cause leisons in other areas of his body? 2. Will we pass outbreaks back and forth? 3. Since he's new to the virus after he is healed do I have to be concerned about oral sex since in his first few months the shed will be real? 4. Basically is the hazard any greater with us both having the virus? 5. Sex during outbreaks? Dangerous? Out of the question? Thanks all! Any input or advice for him and I would be greatly appreciated.

Hello Everyone and Happy New Year! I don't know where to begin truly, so I apologize if this sounds like word vomit, so a month ago I was talked into trying the online dating route of action in order to meet people. I of course, was hesitant and felt sort of bad about doing it but I had decided to give it a go. I struggled with the idea of putting the fact they I am hsv2 positive on my profile. In the end I decided not to in fear that I might miss out on someone truly great if that's all they saw. Anyway, a brilliant man reached out to me, I have been away from home for a few weeks for the holidays so it gave us plenty of time to talk. We've messaged, spoken on the phone and skyped. We have great chemistry and I couldn't be happier, however those first fwo weeks were rough. I just kept thinking, "wow he's really great but herpes,,,,what would he do if he knew...well he is studying nursing maybe it won't bother him.,,,or maybe it will...". It was enough to drive me a bit batty, When we first started talking I told him I had three qualities in myself that I don't think are ideal that might turn him away. 1. Issues trusting, from passed relationships 2. My visual impairment (I'm completely blind in one eye, since birth) 3. The herpes I didn't tell him about the herpes and he didn't pressure me into spilling the beans. He just reassured me that whatever it was he was certain it wouldn't turn him away from me. The pressure became too much and I didn't want to build false hope in myself so over the phone (I don't condone this for disclosure but, I've been long distance for weeks) I just told him. "I am a carrier of the hsv virus"! Immediately he said "it chsnges nothing". I asked him if he knew what it was and he said, "HIV, yeah I do". I then had a good laugh with him because I told him it was herpes not pre-aids. He was relieved but he asid, even it was that it wouldn't have changed things, He said, "you are a beautiful person, not anything you carry. It's just a skin condition, it's not going to kill me and if everything works out, which I'm thinking it will, will not make me want you any less"!!! I was floored..,I didn't think anyone would be able to deal with this, yes I was a nay-sayer but, I'm finally starting to get it. Herpes isn't going to ruin things for me. Honestly maybe its just helping me find the right people for my life. Ok here comes the questions. I'm so scared of passing this thing on, I know it will be his choice as well should he sleep with me. I'm on the suppressives ( well started them again) and condoms will be a thing. Is there anything else I need to do or know about keeping him safe? Im guessing I'm doing things right and I plan on taking things slow. Just a little validation would be nice. I haven't been intimate with anyone since diagnosis so it makes me nervous but I am hopeful things will work out for the best. I hope, if anything, this gives the newbies some hope. Thank you all for the constant support!

Hey Everyone, I'm 5 months in on my lovely little journey with H. I went my first two months without taking antivirals but my paranoia of autoinnoculation got the best of me (you saw it in my posts) and to ease my fears I went on suppressive Valtrex. So I've been taking that for 3 months. Am I slowing my body down by taking antivirals. As in am I delaying my body in getting used to the virus and have I been delaying the build up of antibodies? Is long term use of Valtrex very bad for you? Just give me some thoughts. I kept telling myself at six months my body should be ok and autoinnoculation shouldn't be a fear. Is this not correct now because of me taking the meds?

Thank you everyone, It really is nice to hear from you all and to be cheered on through this mess! I've really been having a tough time with this and am trying to change my tude. But at times this gets absolutely exhausting and heavy. And believe me I want help through it all, its just hard to know where to get that comfort. Is it forums, doctors, psychologists, friends (not working none of them relate)? I just feel like I need a game plan. Yikes! I'm just feeling a little broken/damaged. I'll keep trying and keep my chin up as best as I can and try to get comfortable with my skin again maybe in another few months. Just suffering from a lot of emotional stess generated by fear of the virus. Thanks @seeker for the laugh. Your posts always give me a giggle and cheer me up . :) and dancer thanks for your constant care. It eases me a little to know that I'm not alone. Though you all seem like distant, far away obscure h+ people. Sometimes I feel like the only person in the state of Pennsylvania dealing with this.

We had a similar conversation here with some opinions. I tend to think women are a bit more forgiving but, i know that's not always the case. http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4579/is-dating-easier-for-h-women-than-men

You are not alone. Remember to ask as many questions as you need and I promise you, I'm only three months in, but it does get better over time.

Hi everyone, It has been three months since the beginning of my walk with H. I have come a long way and I am feeling more positive. I am comfortable with who I am and surprisingly I'm not feeling very afraid of future disclosures. What I need to get over at this point, is the fear of my own body. How can I expect someone else not to be afraid of it if I still am? For the past three months I have been particularly careful about hygiene. Probably too careful. Switching out towels, refraining from touching my lower area and vigorously washing my hands. The thing is I haven't really touched myself for the last three months down there. Too scared to shave, wear tampons or anything that involves touch (bummer). I obviously keep the area clean but have been terrified to touch any skin there. Rubber gloves have been my friends lol. I've read horror stories about whitlow and spreading outbreaks and that's what wigs me out. Essentially I am afraid of my own body and because I've only had one outbreak I'm not sure what future ones will be like for me. So I'm scared I'll touch myself and perhaps not realize I have an outbreak and spread the virus to my hands. How did you all get used to this? Any tips or suggestions? I do want to move forward from this. Also on a separate note. I wasn't sure if I should post this on that h buddies feed or not. I didn't see many recent posts. But Id really like to have a few H friends to talk to for support and of course to give it where I can. Male or female from any walk of life will be helpful. I'm 23 and a lady if it matters. But I tend to generate lots of questions and don't want to constantly bug everyone on the forum. I guess it would just be nice to go through my current situation with some reassurance. I feel like the only person in the world with this at times and it would be nice to know that I'm not! My email is reachout_2014@aol.com Have a lovely day friends

Thank you I value this post for several reasons. I am 3 months in to my journey with H and I have fears about no one wanting to deal with it. But more importantly I fear settling. I am afraid of feeling limmited to the first person who can cope with me having this. But the strength and independace you show inspires me for later. Just because I have herpes (a deal breaker) doesn't mean I can't have deal breakers. Thank you sincerely.