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Cedar1122

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  1. Hey Max, I'm sorry that you have been feeling depressed, scared, lost and hopeless. That makes me feel sad to think you're going through that. You are right that loving ourselves is a work in progress. It's a daily practice. Have you ever thought about journaling? That's one thing that makes me feel more connected with myself. When I write out my thoughts, I feel a huge relief. You are the author of your life and you can create whatever you want. I just don't want you to feel hopeless, feeling like nothing good will come your way. Not true; because you have the power to create what
  2. Whoopsidaysi, "I think some of us feel guilty when we're being kind to ourselves and feel like we just need to "suck it up". I know for myself, I need to be as kind and loving to myself as I am to my friends." yes! yes, yes, yes. You're so right. It can be really difficult to give ourselves the kindness. I really struggled with it for a long time until I became really conscious of it. I taking on pain that I thought I deserved. I wouldn't wish it for anyone, so why administer upon myself? I started to treat myself as I would someone else, and the compassion and love came out full force
  3. That is beautiful that you are happy for your sisters. I've been reading a book called the Mastery of Love. And I've been getting some wonderful life lessons from it. Our love and happiness need to come from within ourselves. It is so easy to look outside for happiness, but it will often dissapoint. Others can't meet our needs and always make us happy, but we have that power within ourselves. One of the most important things in life is to give ourselves the love that we often give other people. It's so important to be in charge of our own happiness first, and then once you are settled int
  4. Great questions. Even if you are having an outbreak, a guy can't get it from fingering you. I suppose the only way that could happen is if they finger you and then directly put their hands on their genitals. A good hand washing should do the trick for sure. Outbreaks are shorter and come in wider spans as time goes on. Your body builds the appropriate antibodies so that the outbreaks clear up much faster. I compare it to having your period for a week or less and just having to hold off on the sexual stuff. There's always other options to make you feel connected with your p
  5. Aahhh yes. I just love this conversation. I'm taking it in a little bit different of a direction, but only because this reminds me of an article that my friend, Dave wrote. The article is entitled "Why finding the right man isn't working" Some key things he writes that really spoke to me were: "We don’t date whom we want, we date a mirror reflection of ourselves." " Our “choice” is mostly an illusion, a cosmic joke played on us to think we are in total control of our lives. Dating isn’t about selection, it’s about resonation." "To find the man of your dreams your job is not to
  6. Welcome Shannon, and thanks for sharing. Whatever it turns out to be, I just want you to know it's not the end of the world. Although it felt like the end of the world at first, I've come to find out after a year of having herpes, that it's actually more physically and emotionally managable than I ever imagined. I imagine that you must be feeling really frustrated, knowing that you've been so careful all these years and now there's a possibility of having herpes. I am sorry. It just goes to show how wrong the stigma is. It's estimated that 80% of people who have genital herpes don't ev
  7. Jassabell, Hi. So its only been a week, huh? I'm so happy you found this forum. Way to take care of yourself, finding community and answers :) I'm happy that you have your sister for support too! It can be really nice to have a shoulder to cry on, and a big wise sis reassuring you that you don't look like a huge herpes germ lol. I am posting the links to 2 handouts that Adrial made up. I find them to be really helpful, answering some really important questions. http://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnos
  8. Yes, yes. I totally hear you. I went to a therapist one time and didn't go back. There's just so different ways to process everything, and I think that therapy is a great choice. It wasn't my choice after I tried it out, but who knows what your experience will be. Maybe you and your therapist will have a great connection; maybe not. But it's worth a shot. I'm happy that you're exploring options. Thank you for taking care of yourself :) I also used to think about herpes constantly. It was an everyday occurance. 1st thing in the morning, different moments throughout the day, then last thing
  9. Sjj, I feel for you. I feel protective over you, bc I know what it's like to get herpes from a hookup, and to hate myself for not being more considerate of the consequences. I imagine that you're feeling drained, fearful, and confused about what herpes actually is and how it will impact your life. Being newly diagnosed is the worst part bc it's easy to sink into feeling the social stigma of herpes. The public actually knows very little about the statistics of herpes. If the information was out there in the open, I have a strong feeling that the stigma would be much less powerful. 80%
  10. yes. yes. yes. Thank you WhoopsiDaysi. Beautifully said :)
  11. Thanks for the positivity Dom :) I wrote in a blog one time something that pertains to this. It was about a favorite quote of mine "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." - Maria Robinson. I create my story. I am the author of my life. Sometimes I write with a pen and can't erase it, but what I can do is keep writing and moving forward. Our lives. Our stories. We have the power to live however we choose. :)
  12. Nice to have you here, Ben. :) -Katie
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