Frightened

I'm a train wreck. I miss my family so much, and it's just amplified X 100 thinking I have H on top of that. I start feeling like I can't make it on my own and with this disease. The DR's said its jock itch, but there's three bumps in there that I think are H. It seems like they would have went away by now after putting ointment on them. I'm paralyzed with fear and sorrow right now. My therapist says I might need residential treatment.

I'm sure that is playing into a lot. I'm afraid of being on my own, which I never thought would be an issue. There's a lot of guilt and a lot of fear that's involved.

I feel like I'll be alone forever.

So, the saga continues. I'm vacillating between being OK, whether I have it or not, to sobbing uncontrollably. I miss my family so much. I'm all alone. I left thinking that I wasn't happy and that I'd find something better. Now I'm all alone and probably have H. It seems like a cruel joke. I developed a rash on my inner thigh

well, there's nothing really raised with fluid to swab. Now, I have a much larger red spot forming in my pubic area. Between that, and feeling under the weather, I'm pretty sure I'm about to have something they can swab. Unfortunately, I'm back out of town Tomorrow-Friday.

Well, I went to PP and the lady said that it doesn't look like herpes, and there's nothing for her to swab. I felt better, but now I noticed this am that the couple of bumps look a little different, kinda scabby, but still very subtle. You wouldn't notice them if you weren't looking very hard. I'm also feeling a little under the weather today, so that's not helping. I'm scared because I know that H can be symptomless or look like a lot of different things. I do feel like even if I have it, i'll be fine, but I am having a bad day today.

You might be right. I'm flying back home for a couple of days, and I just noticed that one of the bumps now has a whitehead. I have an appointment at PP tomorrow am, so I hope they can get a good swab of that. I'm pretty sure I have it. It would be weird to have five or six bumps come and go in my pubic area over a week. Maybe I could be getting pimples from touching it so much, but I doubt it. I have accepted my fate if I'm positive.

So, I went to the urgent care clinic and the dr seemed very knowledgable. He said it doesn't look like H, and he had nothing to swab, since it's just two red bumps with no fluid. He said that I'm probably just nervous, but to keep an eye on it. Meanwhile, while the two small bumps are going away, a new one is appearing right around my waist band .

Just checking in with you guys. I went to primary the following day to see what he thought. He said that it doesn't look like H at all. My swab results from the urgent care place came back negative, and the second girl that I slept with' blood work came back negative. I still feel like I might have it though, as two new small red bumps appeared in my public area yesterday. They are very subtle and don't hurt or itch, but looking at google images, it seems like it can look like almost anything. I have no symptoms, and I know that the first outbreak is usually accompanied by lots of symptoms. Again, I know that it can look and feel like anything, which really sucks. I feel like I'm in a place of acceptance if I do have it. I know that my life isn't over, burin will say, in really missing my wife and son right now. I had good meetings and went to my company Christmas party last night. Being newly single, I met a few girls, but feel like it's pointless, as I could never disclose such a thing to anyone one in my industry. I'm off to another city for the weekend, and will tryntonfind an urgent care place to swab these two new bumps. Thanks for your help and support, guys!

So, you're saying that I should stop looking at it and twisting it around every 15 mins?

I just left the doctor and she said it didn't look like herpes, but a skin irritation. However, I noticed one of the three bumps looks redder than it did before. She swabbed it, and will get the results in about 5 days, although she said there wasn't really any discharge to swab. I'm sobbing uncontrollably still and have to leave on business Thursday. I can't get out of it, and will have to be around my colleagues for two days straight. I can't do it. I'm a mess. I called Planned Parenthood, so I could see somebody and get an expert's opinion, but they are booked.

How long does it take for the subtle red bumps to turn into sores? so far, i've had the slight bumps for 24 hrs, but they haven't changed. I feel good physically, but really up and down emotionally. I see a doctor at 11.

Calling the doc first thing.

What's the soonest I can do blood tests? And thank you for your kind words.

Thanks for your feedback. I am paralyzed right now, and supposed to travel for work later this week for some important meetings that I can't miss. I feel like I can't do anything but curl up and sob. I hope that I'm overreacting, as I tend to overwork/think especially about medical stuff, but I have a terrible feeling about this. This isn't what I had in mind when imagining the single life.