Optimist13
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Posts posted by Optimist13
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So I have had to disclose once before and that went well, although the relationship didn't. I still felt sort of guilty for not making the relationship work knowing I could have given someone a virus that they have forever. But hey, that's no reason to stick with someone right? So for the past month or so I have been dating this guy. He seems really nice, he has stayed over a few times but nothing has happened just lots of chatting and kissing which is nice. The other night we were a bit drunk and then I just came out with it. I didn't get as upset as I did the first time I just said it how it was and he was alright with it. He didn't run out of the door at least :-) The next day I thought maybe he was just being polite and I wouldn't hear from him again. Which I was fine with because he is a bit younger than me so figured he didn't want to ruin his youth with someone like me and end up with a virus too. But I have seen him quite a few times since and I am just going to keep seeing him I think and see where it goes. At least he has had time to think about it and still wants to see me which is nice. Who knows it might not go anywhere but at least it won't be because of a virus :-)
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Love this!!
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Hey Skittles 1991,
My symptoms were exactly the same as yours when i had my first 'episode' I wasn't in pain at all but I knew what it looked like (just 2 tiny blisters) so I went to the docs who confirmed. I had also been tested about 3 times previous to this. In the 3 years before I was diagnosed I had only been with 1 guy and we both tested negative (standard STI tests don't include herpes). That is why so many people don't know they have it. Since I have been diagnosed I have told a few close friends and 2 guys. Turns out 2 of the close friends and 1 guy had it too. It is so common. If your test does turn out to be positive it isn't the end of the world. I think the only reason I had an 'episode' at all is because I was really ill and run down for a few months which triggered it I think. Might that be the same for you? I must have been carrying it for at least 2 years or more before I had any symptoms. So it will be really hard for you to find out when/who you contracted it from. Chin up fingers crossed for a negative result. If not, welcome to the club and you know where you are should you need support :-) xx
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Hey, I hear what you're saying but I disagree with your options. You are completely forgetting option C which is learn to love yourself and be happy with yourself and you will meet the right guy who you can trust and tell. I know how you are feeling but at the end of the day we are talking about a cold sore here! THATS IT!! A cold sore that happens to be in a private area.
Just go out with this great guy enjoy it you are entitled to it don't let this stupid virus stop you from living and loving and having fun! I have disclosed to 1 guy (now my ex) he was fine with it and still is fine with it. He says it was worth it to spend an amazing 9 months together but things don't always work out. But that was nothing to do with HSV.
I am now in a similar situation to you, really nice guy been seeing him quite a bit we talk lots and get on really well. But right now I don't feel like I can disclose to him. But what I am NOT going to do is stop seeing him altogether, I am going to keep on seeing him. If and when the time comes that I feel comfortable enough to sleep with him, then that has to be the time I trust him enough to disclose. It just means that I am more respectful to myself and my body by waiting and getting to know him. I am really very nervous about telling him in fact it is hanging over me each time I see him but I am not ready to tell him yet. I will just have to enjoy his company cuddles and kisses until it feels right :-)
I know most people only know what they hear about hsv, I know that's how I felt until I researched it, that is why I think it is important to read up on what you should say to someone when disclosing. I know there is so much info on this forum that can help you put it in a way that doesn't sound so horrific!
Good luck and keep me updated :-)
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Hello, I know it has been a long time.
I have been a bit down lately. I broke up with my boyfriend which didn't go well with him. I am much happier now but I am very anxious to keep in his good books or I am afraid he might tell others about my virus. I know this is silly but I just think that he is so upset that I ended it it is something he could do. This was about 4 months ago that we broke up but he still isn't taking it well.
There is another guy I like though, I am not sure how much he likes me yet but he seems nice. He is a typical lads lad though and I am just not sure if I can trust him. i hear him and his friends talking about girls and they tell each other everything I don't want to be a topic of conversation for this reason! I have decided to wait a good few months before deciding anything but I wish that I just didnt' have this virus and didn't have the anxiety of telling someone else about it. I wish it was just easy and I could enjoy it. I know things could be a lot worse. I have only ever had 1 outbreak and it was nothing. If only i hadn't decided to go and get it checked out. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose.
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Such good news :-) I am happy for you, and for all those who are still feeling down about their herpes please keep optimistic :-) xxx
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You are welcome Lelani I like it too :-)
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Hello everyone, so I read this article the other day and I just thought I would share it with everyone. I felt it was an interesting read and a little uplifted by it anyway :-) http://thehairpin.com/2012/04/the-perks-of-herpes
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Hello everyone,
So I found out I had HSV-2 last November I was devastated at first but just figured I should get on with it. I wasn't in a relationship and I was happy with life and ready for whatever came my way. I wasn't expecting to have the talk for a long time, when all of a sudden a friend of mine and I became more intimate (just kissing and seeing each other more). I panicked and felt I had to say something before he wanted to take things further. He got all worried because I absolutely freaked out that I had just been put in this situation out of the blue and I didn't have any "speech prepared" I didn't want to say anything because I haven't told any of my friends before let alone this one and it was all just so fast! Anyway I was crying A LOT! And I just came out with it, and he was like, erm ... so its just a cold sore down there?. I was like yeah technically I had 2 small blisters and that's it. He said oh my goodness you had me so worried there is that it!!! He was really really touched that I had the decency to say something to him and that I said it sooner rather than later and that it didn't change the way he felt about me and it really didn't matter. It isn't life threatening it is just a little skin blister.
I told him all I know about the virus and made him fully aware that if you get HSV-2 you have it for life. He says he is prepared to take the risk and it really doesn't matter to him. I have to say though I did get myself worked up over nothing I can't imagine how people cope if they just dragg it out and leave it any longer!
It was my first time 'having the talk' and it wasn't so bad :-) in fact it was fine. So just do it guys and gals I am very very glad I did. I don't know where it will go with this guy and neither of us mind he is just glad I said something sooner and I have the HSV-2 weights lifted off my shoulder too :-)
Doooo iiiit !!!
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Thank you Diversity :-)
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Haha no problem. I felt like I had abandoned this site by not posting for a while so thought I would just mention the lack of drama and worry :-)
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So I found out I have HSV-2 a while ago now. Haven't been with anyone since. I finally told a friend though. I was quite drunk at the time and was so fed up about keeping it inside. She then told me that her and her housemate have it too! No big deal. She happily has a boyfriend too which is great. I had 2 tiny blisters and that was my outbreak that's it. Nothing since. I seem to be 'normal' I feel 'normal'. I suppose the day will come when I will have to tell a potential partner but I am in no rush and am just happy that its 'only herpes' :-). Come on guys its not the end of the world!!! Smile xxx
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Thank you for this story, I am glad you don't feel cursed by herpes like lots of people do on here. I found out I have it 2 weeks ago and feel like everything happens for a reason :-) This is a pretty rubbish reason but I am just focusing on me, happy to be me and who knows what will happen. Swings and roundabouts :-)
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Normal guy - I think that just because you have herpes you can't let it define you! You are a person not a virus! I found out a few weeks ago that I have herpes, I have not got a boyfriend (we broke up about 8 months ago) I have not been with anyone apart from him for about 2 years so I must have had it that long and not known. I absolutely refuse to let this virus stop me believing I will find someone out there for me. Just go out there and have fun, do what you would do normally and see where life takes you, that's what I am doing anyway. Don't let it get you down.
RainbowStream - If you didn't know you had it you are not to blame for giving it to your boyfriend or if you did know and you told him then that was a risk he was willing to take for you. We can't let this take over our lives there is much more to life, yes it is an annoying skin irritation that we have to 'disclose' but it isn't life threatening!!! Go and do something nice today :-)
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Thank you lelani :-)
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Thank you Leani, I am not looking for anyone at the moment and am happy being the way I am. I think that is the important thing. I am a lucky one always have been and I am not going to let this change my mind about that. I hope that is the only episode I am going to have though, some of the stories I have read on here are so bad.
I must have had it for nearly 2 years now and not known about it so I figure that is a good thing.
When the time is right I am sure I will meet someone who realises this is just a skin virus that isn't too major. Just shows I care by disclosing :-)
This is really a lovely forum, I haven't told anybody except for my mum and I plan on keeping it that way for a while until I have dealt with it. To be honest nobody else needs to know. It would be nice to be able to tell my friends but gossip like this travels fast and I just don't need that really.
Having a lovely forum like this going is good enough for me so thank you for replying guys :-)
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Thank you Kaande, I have read the book and feel much better now. I know I won't be alone because there is definitely more to me than HSV. I do believe everything happens for a reason I just need to wait and see what this one is. I have had HSV for nearly 2 years and just not known about it so why should I be any different. I just need to disclose to anyone I decide to get close to and its up to them if they like me enough it won't matter to them just like it wouldn't matter to me. We'll see if I am feeling so optimistic when I have to do that :-/
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Hello, not really sure what to say really.
I have just had a phone call to confirm that I have HSV-2. I am 25, and a very very very happy outgoing person. I hope this wont' all change now.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year 8 months ago and I have not been with anyone since. I was tested before I got with him and I was all clear. After being with him for a while I found out he had paid 2 prostitutes in Thailand for sex before I met him. I have no idea if this is where I got it from but I can't help think that there is a good chance it was and I feel angry because of that.
For the year that we were together I constantly had yeast infections and sistitus but nothing else. I went to the doctors many times and they said that everything was fine. I had never had either of these before.
So far all I have had is 1 blister last week and then 3 more came up at the weekend and that is when I went to the doctors and they confirmed it as HSV-2 today. I think that I probably would not have gone to the doctors had I not have known what to look out for with HSV because they were gone within a day. I have had no other symptoms at all. Do you think this was my first proper outbreak? Could it get much worse?
I feel so horrible because I am dreading the day I meet someone I really care about and I am worried they won't want to know and I am ashamed at having to tell them. I have only told my mum about this because I feel she is the only one I can trust. I have just moved away so feeling pretty alone at the moment.
One minute I feel like its no big deal because its just like a cold sore only in a different area and others I freak out at all of the side effects and having to tell someone etc.
What are the chances of me passing it on to someone?
I have to say that I am one of the luckiest people in the world and generally a very happy person, I just don't want things to change but now I know that they have to but I just want to know that it won't be so bad. I just can't stop crying at the moment :-(
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Disclosed herpes again ...... not a bad experience
in Herpes talk success stories
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Just thought I would add an update. Things are still going great with this guy. I did have one 'episode' after we got together so the discussion of H came up again but he didn't let a virus stop him from seeing the person I am inside :-) Very happy indeed!!