wevegotthis

@jennie Oh, I cried. I freaked out for the first bit. I was upset, confused, hurt.. Both physically and emotionally LOL. But.. These are the cards I was dealt. This is half my fault - if I would have used protection, if I would have been smarter. If HE would have told me, if he knows.. A lot of things play into this - I am just lucky enough to have actually had an outbreak. "Lucky" because I know - and now I can take all precautions to not spread it on to someone else. I am LUCKY for not getting something far worse. I put myself at risk of tetanus constantly when I go out adventuring on abandoned farms.. And trust me, I'd rather have herpes. :p Having all of the support on this site makes it feel so surreal, by completely abolishing the stigma. All of a sudden, thanks to HOpp, you don't have something "bad" or something "gross". You're just you, like you were before. :)

You're the best, Dancer :)

That's why I asked for someone to correct me if I was wrong - I had a feeling LOL. I just thought that, like HPV, once you have had it for a while and haven't had outbreaks, it is sometimes undetectable through a blood test. I assumed - that was my mistake! Sorry

Thank you so much, Dancer (I love that that has become your first name to everyone. LOL) Any insight as to why you think he's so standoffish when it comes to anything sexual? Even if I jokingly kiss his neck he actually gets physically uncomfortable.. Just starting to feel like it's me.. (I know it isn't and that is completely irrational, but how do you ask someone about that!)

I am thinking so, too. He is acting all, "wow, my life is over. I'm just gonna marry you. Nobody will ever sleep with me again." But I am pretty sure it is just a facade. I educated C and continue to do so every time I find out more information. I'd love to be here for younger people to talk to as I know it is sometimes nicer to have someone who can relate a little closer. Thank you! I am glad to be surrounded by wonderful people like you :)

Well, when you have had herpes for long enough, it can lie dormant in your body and it is harder to test for on a blood test. When you're having an outbreak, your body is actively fighting it, making it easier to detect (anyone feel free to correct me if I am wrong on that one). Yet again as some people have said, if he DID know, he was probably absolutely terrified. He gave in to the stigma as you did earlier. Herpes isn't that bad. It really isn't. I am 22 years old in two weeks and I was just diagnosed with herpes. You know what that does? It helps weed out the shitty assholes who just want you for sex. The fact that this guy gave this to you REALLY sucks. Keep in mind you aren't even close to being alone, and a LOT of people carry herpes. As Dancer said, it's really just.. a nuisance skin condition in an inconvenient place. Stop panicking - stress makes your outbreaks worse! Breathe!! Realize you're not dying. You're going to be a-okay. You WILL get through this. As for the pain, I find leaning forward when I pee helps a lot (doesn't run back), and instead of wiping I use a spray bottle or a tiny plastic cup to splash water on myself. DON'T use soap directly on your outbreak! Of course it's going to burn, you're putting soap on an open wound! You can make it even worse as the soap will completely dry out that entire area, making everything even more sore. You can have a baby just fine. Your doctor will monitor you during your pregnancy and if there is ANY chance at all of you passing it on to your baby, or your baby being at risk of being harmed, they will perform a c-section opposed to a natural birth. You still get your healthy baby! Yes, you can be a doctor you goof. They can't deny you that from having herpes. You aren't a walking disease, girl. You're just the same person that you were before, and eventually, you'll actually become an even better person than you were before. Having herpes really makes you more.. connected. Down to earth. Understanding. You said you haven't told him - I really don't know what to say to that. I would just ask him straight up, "Did you know you had herpes?" (Legally he has to tell you.. at least in Canada. You can sue someone for knowingly giving you herpes without informing you that they were a carrier). Best of luck - feel free to PM me. Sorry if my reply was scattered!! You've got this. We've got this. <3

Alrighty friends. I have a bit of a confusing situation going on here and if anyone would like to weigh in, I'd gladly like to hear opinions! I had my first OB a week before I left the city for work for a month. Had one small one while I was gone. While I was gone I started texting this guy. We texted every day for 5 weeks straight until we met - completely smitten via text. Our first date went well. Our second date, we held hands and he kissed me good night. (This being a first for me - I wasn't afraid to put out on the first date.. that's what got me here.) Our third date, he came over to my house. We cuddled up on the couch together and watched a movie. Fourth date, fifth date.. Sixth date, at this point we have still done NOTHING but kiss. We were rubbing each other's backs, getting into some heavy kissing.. Nothing more. He slept in my bed that night, in his boxers. And still.. nothing more. We just finished date 7. Still nothing. When I bring up anything sexual/make a sexual joke he turns red and gets visibly uncomfortable. I can't tell if he is just genuinely nervous, being a gentleman, a virgin (I doubt it, but hey!), or .. maybe he has H, too! ( Yeah right :p ) He really likes me. I hope you can understand as to why I would feel confused, though. He's an attractive, 24 year old guy.. So now comes disclosure: Clearly, sexual contact isn't a pressing issue at ALL right now.. And I've given him ample opportunity to get to know me for who I really am, and he really likes me. I JUST met his roommates for the first time tonight, though, and we aren't officially "dating".. When do I disclose?! Is there some magical feeling, where you just KNOW when the time is right? This is my first (potential) disclosure. I feel like I haven't known him long enough (we met a month ago). I feel like it would be alright to just let things play out on their own.. Tell him when I know it's right. When it feels right, I mean. I plan on clarifying if what we have is going to go further (i.e committed relationship) before disclosing. What I had planned out in my head to say was just, "So.. I want to tell you something. I recently found out that I came into sexual contact with someone who carries the herpes virus, and I tested positive for it as well. Now, what this means for you and I, if we continue to move forward in this relationship, is that we need to take extra precautions and use protection at all times...." And then obviously continue on with the questioning, answering, etc. I am completely terrified that he will not be alright with it. I have a feeling he will be, and I will approach the situation as such. But.. this is the first time in 6 years I have let a guy get this close to me (not because of H, I was only OFFICIALLY diagnosed 2 weeks ago - I have just had really bad relationship issues) Is that an alright way to approach that situation? What do you think his deal is? Gah!

Hello everyone! I have just, as of two weeks ago, been officially diagnosed with HSV2. I have cried about it a couple of times, especially when I first starting having symptoms (timeline to follow), but all in all.. I'd say I have handled this all pretty well. The first thing I did was GOOGLE, GOOGLE, GOOGLE. I read every single damned page I could find that had ANYTHING to do with herpes. I read success stories, I read advice, I watched videos, and did anything in my power to keep myself from letting this virus get the best of me. That was honestly the best decision I could have made - to immediately surround myself with information and support. My timeline (I hope this doesn't cross any boundaries, trying to keep it PG) In June, I met a guy - we will call him C. We started sleeping together. He is a WONDERFUL, caring man who has become one of my best friends, and supports me through everything (including this). The beginning of July, however, an online friend of mine was in the city - D. I met up with him for dinner. We ended up, er.. "shacking up" later that night. Due to certain circumstances, I ended up with a tear in my skin.. I'm assuming that was what sealed my fate. The next two weeks were utter and complete HELL. I have never, ever in my life been in as much pain as I had been during my first outbreak, not to mention it was during that time of the month! (Sorry if that scares anyone). I was upset, I was hurt, I was confused. Both of these men claimed they knew nothing about what was going on with me. C and I actually continued on with our sexual relationship even after my initial OB because we had figured if I had it, he had it. (Really dumb in retrospect). He got tested once, it was negative. He got tested again yesterday - as I explained to him how there is a chance of the antibodies not being present yet.. etc. We will find out those results soon! D, however.. seems to not be rushing to get tested. It has been two months.. I then left my city for work, for a month. My blood tests came back negative. Both types of HSV, both times. Thankfully, my doctor was able to take a swab and I knew what it was going to say - positive. So here I am. Positive with HSV2 at 22 years old. Thankfully, it isn't even remotely as scary as the stigma seems to imply! Thank GOODNESS. When I found out what herpes really was, I was RELIEVED that that was all that I had! I was so afraid it was so much worse! If you want to talk to me about my experience, if you have questions for me personally, or if you need some advice.. throw me a line. I am here for anyone who needs. We can make it through this together. :)