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LionTiger

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  1. I recently met a really cool guy. He is a doctor and is an all around good person, as far as I can tell. He has done a lot of volunteer work in the community and has worked on patients with other STDs in the past. I've known him a couple weeks but we've only gone on a few dates. We've made out and done some other zero risk activities (there was absolutely no skin to skin contact). I have GHSV II. Of course, I want to continue to date him until I feel comfortable sharing this with him. On one hand, this guy could be the real deal. We connect on so many levels and we get along very well. There is a lot of chemistry and I think his medical background and history in treating STDs will be a good thing. On the other hand, we have many mutual friends together. If he does freak out and he tells everyone, then everyone will know it. Our social circles interconnect in many ways. And tbh I still have work to do on being out and proud with having herpes. I've worked really hard to get to the place I am. As my primary care doctor correctly predicted, Ive learned to put my diagnosis with having herpes into better perspective. At first, I thought I'd never date or have sex again. I've learned that is not true. I've disclosed to three partners. Two have not been ok with it and one was (but I ended up not wanting to continue it). I'm on daily suppressive medication and I don't get outbreaks. Initially I didn't want to date in my social circles because that might hit too close to home. However, I'm realizing the people in my social circles are good people. So it's a big step for me to even entertain the possibility of dating someone like him. I feel like there is too much at stake so maybe I should pull back. But at the same time, I feel like this could be the potential love of my life passing me by and why not give him the choice. And then, continue to make choices based on his genuine reaction rather than creating stories in my head about what I think will happen. Lastly in some ways, I almost want to come out as having herpes. It was only when I came out as gay that I could finally deal with the internalized homophobia and shame I had. Also, I met people who liked me for me rather than the person I was desperately trying to hide. Thoughts? Advice?
  2. Hello all: This message board has been a god send. Thanks for all of the valuable info and support. I have a question about disclosure. I was diagnosed with HSV 2. If we use a condom and if I'm on daily suppressive medication, do I have to disclose for casual hookups? Beyond potential intimacy issues, are there any legal repercussions to not disclosing? The reason I ask is that a mental health care professional said that if it's a causal hook up you don't have to disclose especially if no one brings up a conversation about STDs. At the same time, I'm full well knowing i don't know what else they may have. Any thoughts and insights would be greatly appreciated.
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