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  1. Today I was reading a Men's Health magazine (Tim mcgraw was on the cover and I was interested lol) and they had this article called dating deal breakers or something like that. Well surprise surprise, there was one subline that said 'her STD rhymes with burpees' and im thinking theyre totally just going to say ditch her, dont deal with that. To my surprise, however, they actually had a nice little blurb on it. Ill quote a little of the article. "Consider this: Genital herpes is more common than you think it, it roughly affects one in six people. But hey she got tested and was honest with you.
  2. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this....whenever I am about to get an outbreak I noticed I have weird red bumps on random spots on my body. When I got my first outbreak I had a TON all over my legs but more like my calf/ankle area. They look like ingrown hairs sort of...a red zit but with no head. Most recently its on my side hip area but just one...im wondering if they're part of thr outbreak or what? Anyone else experience this?
  3. Thanks guys! It was a rough few days but imnso happy im out in the open w him now! @wcsdancer yes I did tell him where to go because I know the places I ran into when I did my research... @beachluvr like wcsdancer said just do it. Its always so nerve racking leading up to it, I hate that part the most. But my process is to write it down so I can get a general gist of what im gonna say..like u said half of it doesn't end up in the conversation, but I get the point across. I tell my friends so that way I feel like I need to have this talk today and they'll hold me accountable for it. I p
  4. I had the herpes disclosure just now and i just wanted to share with everyone my first ever success!!! Id been dreading it all damn day, just freaking out and thinking the worst, like im never going to talk to him again... but it went well. Here's the back story...I meet this guy online, we have this great connection and he's fun to hang out with, the calmest guy Ive ever met in my life. We really hit it off and like pretty much hung out every otehr day since weve met. Well Ive been trying to take things slow and not get super attatched because the last guy I dated, I disclosed to him
  5. I wanted to say that I was like the both of you too. Except his was on his lip, and I was like oh thats definitely a cold sore. But didnt put two and two together when I let him go down on me. Like oh I can get herpes from a coldsore...even though I knew. I feel like herpes is so tricky since it looks pretty much like a zit or an ingrown hair or a number of things. And i remember always thinking before that oh ill be able to recognize if someone has an std or theyll tell me. Until I got herpes I didnt realize how very wrong I was...and I know im not the only one who thought/thinks that way whi
  6. Sometimes its hard for me to look at the big picture and not get caught up in the details. I know that if it doesnt work out that its meant to be that way but its hard not to get sad over it. Ugh I know im setting myself up for failure with my thinking, but sometimes I just would rather be pleasantly surprised than severely disappointed. Ahh..im so scared. I am just gonna reread what ive wrote so I can stick to what I wanna say. Thanks for the links WCS! And damn OBs always come when im freaking out about them and nothing else. So strange, its like they can hear me lol jk
  7. Having the herpes talk.....yet again. The last time I did It went good then he changed his mind after a day. This is a new guy and I need to remember that theyre not the same person. Today im going to try to spin it off positively and see how it works. Ughh I hate getting prepped for these and usually bail on doing it...but I have to do this today and just need a lot of confidence building because I only see it going badly. Although I want it to go well and will hope for the best, I just havent had a totally successful talk yet. I hate this. Ugh and just got an outbreak today what are the chan
  8. In the past, it was usually time to disclose when I had a feeling we were close to having sex...not right before sex, but like i knew it would be coming up in the next date or so. And like I said, it's usually the sex comes first and then the relationship, never the other way around...which is dumb but Im just telling like it is. I guess it is determined by how emotionally close I feel with them, if a good opportunity comes up of me telling them I need to have a talk with them, or something along those lines. In the past opportune times just happened to come up, but I never was in a relationsh
  9. So like most of the posts I have, they usually start off with Im seeing this guy and it's starting to get serious. He doesn't know I have herpes yet, and yes I want to tell him, i just have no clue when I should. Unlike most of my situations, we haven't been anywhere near having sex, so it hasn't come up. I have this feeling a relationship is going to happen first before having sex, which is totally fine and really ideal, but Im just scared that if we're in a relationship first and I wait to tell him it might go badly. I just have no clue how to bring it up!!! It's just so hard, I feel like ev
  10. Rogue: I am glad you were inspired by this. :) I can relate with your mother situation, my parents are really close to me and I want to let them into my life and feel all I am feeling. It's hard when they won't acknowledge, this HUGE part of me. You're right though, they probably are just not knowing how to react to it. I know my parents mean well and only want to watch what theyre saying in order to keep from offending me. But sometimes I just wish theyd ask or talk about it with me. i know I definitely feel like all that shapes me to be a better parent. I feel like if I had someone to talk t
  11. I don't think this makes you immoral or distrustful at all. The fact that you told him before even putting him at risk is AWESOME! Shows you have integrity! It's really scary to disclose ANYTHING to anyone. Like lulu said its your timetable, and you werent putting him at risk, so it was up to you when to disclose. I feel like to be perfectly honest with him from here on out is the best thing to do. If he allows. I mean if he wasn't willing to stick around and here your side of the story maybe he wasn't the man for you? Thats the way I always look at it. Good luck I hope everything turns out ok
  12. Listening to this John Mayer song, Say, the lyrics always pop into my head whenever I am about to disclose to someone. "Even if your hands are shaking And your faith is broken Even as the eyes are closing Do it with a heart wide open Say what you need to say" It's like he wrote the song for that reason or at least I pretend he did. hehe. It just gets me thinking though, i need to say what i need to say. It's just a skin condition, they're just words, why is it so hard to disclose. Once it's out there and said it's not as scary! It's just the initial saying it and bringing it
  13. I could cry from this post. I relate soooo much to all of what you have said. Thank you for posting this, I definitely needed to hear something like this today :)
  14. I know that is what is upsetting me! I think we're saying the same thing, just not realizing it lol I know Im upset because of my low self esteem, been a problem all my life. All I'm saying is that it is magnified by like 100 when it comes to herpes and 100 more when it comes to relationships and 30000000000000000 times more when the two are combined. Im saying I always have low self esteem, and i try to build myself back up, but then things set me back. I understand the root of all the problems, i get it. I know what's wrong with me, I'm just trying to sort through the feelings I have associa
  15. Well Im not a last resort, and I know that nor should i be treated like one. I know I am NOT i just feel hurt he would even trick me like that. I understand your point that I'm only feeling this way because of me. but going with your example, your mom tells you that you're a handsome son everyday, but when someone tells you otherwise-you have a fat ass-of course you're going to be upset...doesnt mean you are a fat ass,but you're still going to be upset over it. thats just what im saying, of course im not a last resort, but im hurt anyone would think so. And i was writing all this in anger and
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