On the weekend I was drunk and acted out of character and irresponsibly. I'm now not sure what to do.
I have herpes. I contracted it 6 months ago. On Friday night I slept with someone and didn't disclose to her before hand that I have Herpes. I was really drunk and just didn't even think about it. When I initially contracted Herpes I was angry, upset, etc. but I soon came to terms with it and entered a relationship shortly after where she really didn't care about my Herpes. I've never experience any severe symptoms and to our knowledge never infected my ex girlfriend. My initial outbreak was one small bump on the pubic area. I occasionally have tingling/burning but no visible symptoms.
The girl on Friday was also drunk. She actually was telling me to go ahead without a condom, saying that she's on birth control. Since contracting Herpes I am careful, so I insisted her use a condom. Unfortunately it broke at the tip (always do!) but I stopped as soon as I realised what had happened. We didn't continue as we didn't have another.
I met this girl on Friday. She's a friend of a friend. She lives a few hours drive away. I have her phone number, but I don't really know her. She's contacted me a few times since the weekend, but my replies have been short as I feel guilty and shame regarding my actions.
I don't know what the chances of her catching it off me are. I don't know whether to tell her retrospectively. If I did, it would be best to do it face to face, but that's not really possible. It was just a one night stand and I don't think either of us plan to take it any further.
I want to be honest with her but I also don't want to panic her. The chances are that I wouldn't have given it to her. She could have it already. She wanted to sleep together unprotected so she didn't act responsibly either. For all I know, I could have caught something off of her. We were both very drunk. I know the right and moral thing to do is to tell her, but I am not sure whether that would do more damage then good…
I would not be in this situation if I wasn't drunk at the time. I am not sure how best to proceed from here. She's a nice girl and deserves to have been told before sleeping with her.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so, what do you suggest?
I could call her, email, but I am nervous she'll start panicking and talking to our mutual friends. I don't really want everyone to know I have herpes and I don't want her freaking out about it.
I know I need to be more responsible when drinking. When I first got it I swore to myself I would never sleep with anyone without disclosing but because I've never suffered badly and never been rejected after disclosing I pretty much just forgot about it.
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