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  1. Sure have... I was told that lymph nodes swelling is a sign that your body is attacking a virus- the ones in the neck for a virus above the belt, and the groin ones for below. So they should swell right before you experience an outbreak and stay swollen until a little after. I think mine were pretty tender during the outbreak and it took a few weeks for the swelling to go down.
  2. Isn't it possible that your ex is extremely insecure and defensive and less possibly thaaat vindictive? I am by no means suggesting that you shouldn't leave her; I am just trying to understand how she is human (eg. I know I can say terrible/irrational things when I am being defensive or angry- I'm working on it ;) ). Hopefully you ending it will be the kick in the butt that she needs to deal properly with her diagnosis. Either way, it sounds like you are dealing with it much better, even though you have to go through a lot of ridiculous shit right now. I am sorry about that. I'll look out for your small claims court trial on TV :), and wish you the best!
  3. Oh my gosh, I am going through the same stuff! I love it! I am looking forward to your new developments, so keep me updated! :)
  4. best of luck WD! he obviously likes you a lot, you heartbreaker you. and watch out for yourself as Adrial suggests- sometimes we get a little blinded by the excitement of having a crush and I am also starting to think that there is something to the idea that we want what we can't have, whether its good for us or not- so take care of yourself!
  5. Hi WD, I actually heard "It's not personal, it's biological" a few times last week... Not fun. Though I think the guy is being a little illogical because while he doesn't want to take that maybe 1% chance, you know he isn't going to be screening future girls that want to go down on him for oral herpes, which is apparently more contagious than gshv1. Anyway, you... if it works out, congrats! And if not, congrats for accomplishing the Talk! And guess what? You will soon remember all the indications of why the guy wasn't really all that great that having a crush makes you ignore :)
  6. @Mariah, I am not close with my mom, never share anything personal with her, but I was around her when I couldn't think of anything else but Herpes and all of my relationships going wrong. So I ended up telling her and it was actually one of the least uncomfortable things I have ever shared with her. Even if you don't have a sharing relationship with your parents, its still part of being a parent to love and want to protect your children. For me it helped to share the burden I felt at the time, and I think especially with someone whose responsibility it has been to care for me. I have always felt my parents have had high expectations for me and especially wouldn't want to share something they might "disapprove" of, but when it comes down to it, they should be expecting mistakes (we are young!) and will always be on your side.
  7. Thanks Kristin, I have been going through a lot of personal transformation in the last few days-months, and though its been really inconvenient with school and work and the rest of life, I think it has been nice to get a new perspective. This community has been awesome for information, support and insight. Katie
  8. I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 20 months ago and still have "Why Me?!" moments. I know that it is not fair to anyone, but really — Why Me? — I got it when I was with a loving and committed boyfriend, my first ever (something that I was embarrassed to admit before herpes at 26 — never having a boyfriend until 24 — but now I find myself having to say it a lot). I was also a Peace Corps volunteer, trying to be selfless but ignoring that I was in an unhappy living situation and frustrated that couldn't do all the world-saving I had hoped to (while also getting sick all the time, bathing in a freezing river, etc). Ignoring my unhappiness led to extreme stress and eventually an extreme oral herpes break out (I think I had maybe had 1 cold-sore ever before). Somehow, I stuck it out, things improved, until a year later I found out that my grant for a project that had to start soon had been sitting on someone's desk, had not even been reviewed, and that would be unlikely to be approved in time. So another bout of stress from all my efforts failing ensued, and BAM, genital herpes. My boyfriend got it at the same time, and I went through all the emotions that everyone seems to have gone through at diagnosis... But then I ignored it because my boyfriend didn't care and because I didn't want to have to internalize it. Now that relationship has ended and I do have to face it. And I have made huge mistakes in the time that I was not informed: I did not even know how it was transmitted and put someone I care about at risk and lost some of his confidence in me. I did not have any statistics to offer him. I didn't even know what type I had. I did not even once consider that he would possibly still choose to be with me (even though in retrospect he clearly wanted to, what a guy...), because I had not done any research. Had I done the research, not only would it have shown me transmission rates to be very low, it would have shown me that people make these choices every day and would have advised me on how to go about it. Instead, I ignored all the signs that showed he liked me, changed all the lovely things he said to me to have a "but you are going to dump me" ending, and I guess I just waited to be convinced of something that I wouldn't let myself be convinced of, soon losing most of the rest of his confidence in me. I really don't live with any regrets, but I do regret not informing myself about Herpes before I got all excited about a new relationship. It's good to know that I will never make that mistake again, but I really wish that I hadn't messed up with such a good friend.
  9. Thanks Adrial! Your experience gives me lots of hope. I found this article this morning and the "How Easily Spread" section pretty hopeful too: http://herpeslife.com/good-herpes-virus-bad-herpes-virus-the-truth-about-hsv1-hsv2/
  10. I am hoping to hear some stories on h- people choosing h+ partners, if they got herpes or didn't and how long... Statistical data has been hard to come by. I have seen one study that women->men had a transmission rate of 4% over a 320-something day period, without reporting on condom use, and not taking an antiviral. Another study by a drug company reported 50% reduction in transmission rates while taking suppressive meds, where there was less than 50% reported condom-use, also over a period of less than 1 year. In my case, I have GHSV1, have only had 1 outbreak ever- over a year and a half ago, and my boyfriend at the time had one too at about the same time. Everyone reports that transmission rates are lower for 1, even lower for women to pass on, lower if you don't do anything during an OB, lower if condoms are used, lower if taking meds, lower if the partner knows- but no actual info on what this number boils down to (if there is, let me know!). I haven't found a good doctor who can give me some good anecdotal evidence either. The doctors who diagnosed me told me to calm down, that I could live with this, forever, but gave no practical information (eg. they didn't tell me that there was a blood test that could be performed beyond the culture that I had done at the time. My fault too- I wasn't in a hurry to delve into finding more information when I thought that it was hopeless either. It took me 1.5 years, a breakup and a new crush, to bother to tell another human being, doctors included). My primary Dr. could only tell me that rates are low. And my crush (who is awesome, but I totally messed up with him because I was not prepared or even thinking about my having herpes) asked his doctor, who told him that there was a 18-20% chance (wtf). I imagine that I can find more anecdotes here- thanks for your input!
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