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domh21

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  1. So I just wanted to share this article with you all. A friend of mine who also has H shared it with me. It's nice to hear and read about real people discussing the reality. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/q-and-a/a30090/sex-talk-realness-living-and-dating-with-an-sti/
  2. I went to therapy a few months after. I actually really needed it before for past issues and emotional trauma. I went with the sole reason of trying to cope with my diagnosis and the trauma of the relationship I was in.I started with a support group for depression and anxiety and it helped me so much and I have been meeting with a therapist regularly since. It's been 2 years now. Therapy helped me in so many ways to grow as a better and healthier person holistically. I love it!!
  3. Dear brokenbuthealed wow! you're story is a lot like mine almost. You got your answer the same way i did. Well welcome!! I am happy to read how much you have leaned on God, he will get you through and love you like no other. It is great to hear how much you realized how loved you are. You are amazing and so loved. You are coming out of this so much stronger already. It only gets better. I'm coming up on two years and my life with H has only gotten better. that H to me means Happiness, Healing, Heart...you are a beautiful person. I get that from you already. Glad you have joined and glad I logged on today. I haven't logged on in awhile. Hugs
  4. I completely agree with misskellyrenee and love the making H your wingman It's true. I think I overlooked people not being there for me in crisis but having H made me open my eyes even more. It wasn't the mere fact of having H but it could be any hard time you are facing and these people pull excuses and or leave because they just can't be there for you. Also maybe we could find a cool new name for you because honey you are not damaged goods even if that's how you feel. We have all felt that way but nope you are definitely not you are pretty amazing :)
  5. So I haven't posted in a while or checked in. All is going well, life is great and I rarely think about H at all. Anyways, I was reading another article today on huffington post and saw this link and thought I would share. I was happy to see this. This is only as big as we make it. If you're struggling know you are not alone and that it does get better!! Life is beautiful!! http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/highlight/pro-gun-robocall-went-out-day-after-mass-shooting/5384a973fe344460610002dc
  6. This is awesome!! I am sharing this because this can apply to how we approach our difficult conversations including how we disclose! "All a closet is, is a difficult conversation." Ash Beckham is awesome. She also happens to be gay, and she thinks it's hard for straight people coming out of the closet. At 2:30, she gently confronts a 4-year-old. At 3:30, she explains how hard it is for straight people to come out of the closet. At 7:53, she makes a hard decision. And at 8:56, she shares three rules about pancakes and life that you should follow. http://www.upworthy.com/a-4-year-old-girl-asked-a-lesbian-if-shes-a-boy-she-responded-the-awesomest-way-possible
  7. I've told almost 20 people and whole they were just friends and family or coworkers not romantic partners no one has rejected me it's quite the opposite I know how you feel I couldn't imagine telling anyone after I left the doctor I didn't even want to go home A year later I'm here I'm ok. Yes I still have down times like this. But it passes Actually a few months after my diagnosis a friend of mine wound up having HSV2 also. And she shared her mom has had it forever. My point is though it feels like you can never tell anyone you can do it. Think about it don't you wish someone had told you? Don't you wish someone had been honest with you that they cared or respected you enough to tell you? That's just my perspective. There are instances where people honestly don't know but in the case that they did know and were dishonest Keep posting were all here for you both
  8. domh21

    A Journey

    First, welcome to this site. Thank you for sharing your story and your feelings. Second, I would say do not accept something that you do not even know you have yet. You may be fine. You may have it. There is no answer yet. Yes, she should have been up front with you. You would hope people would be upfront. I hoped the person I was with was being up front but the reality as you spoke of is that there is a stigma here. And I'm sure Laura, not telling you probably felt ashamed in some way. She wanted to be "normal" she wanted to be intimate with you. I am not excusing her not disclosing. However, you also mentioned that Kari has been having multiple partners, here is the trippy thing. You may or may not have been exposed to HSV2 by either one if not both partners. Herpes is one of those viruses that you may not ever be able to pinpoint who you received it from. I know how you feel. This is how many of us felt in the early stages. We want to know more, we are scared, confused and feel guilty and anger. There are so many feelings, emotions and thoughts. My first advice, first get your results. Also, be careful online. There is a lot of bogus info out there. A lot of things will scare you. There are handouts here on the blog that can tell you more. And I'm sure Adrial will chime in with great info and advice. I have had HSV2 for one year now and I'm ok. I am living. I am happy. Not to say that it wasn't devastating or that it isn't difficult to figure out how I'm gonna carry out my romantic life now but for me it's not the worst thing that could happen. I hope that you get some answers soon. We're all here to listen and talk.
  9. Not sure about the blood test, as live culture is best method. However, if it turns out it's not herpes my friend had molluscum which causes bumps too. Not sure. Hope you guys get some answers soon.
  10. Adrial you always have the best metaphors. I can close my eyes and envision that wine haha Thank you!! Love you!!
  11. It's been a while since I've posted or been to the H opportunity site. Yesterday was my anniversary of when I found out I had H. I have been living with my wonderful gift of H or as my bff calls it, "my spidey sense" lol When I'm not feeling well or feeling prodrome, she asks if my spidey sense is tingling lol She is one of the most amazing people and one of the reasons I am happy to announce my anniversary. I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to turn this supposed "negative" thing into a totally "positive" thing. To those of you who are new, whether newly diagnosed or new to the site, welcome. Let me just encourage and remind you that you are alive and life is well worth living. In this past year I have blossomed. I went from wanting my life to end to fully embracing life and all it's tumultuous twists and turns. I am completely happy that H put an end to a relationship that needed to end. It put an end to self inflicted hurt and pain and sadness. These things still exist in life and life's obstacles still exist. However, I know now that H is just a pebble in my shoe in comparison to the things I've seen others go through. The first 3-6 weeks were hell for me. I felt everything in my body. I didn't want to eat certain things. I thought I was a walking herpe ready to explode everywhere. I feared everything. Then it got a little better. Than I digressed and so on and so on. I have disclosed to 20 or so people. People I know I can trust, both male and female. They include family, friends, coworkers, other colleagues, etc. I know that sounds like a lot. Each time I breathed a sigh of relief when they didn't bat an eye or judge. No one has rejected me or made me feel like crap. It is always my own perceptions of this virus and further more my own perceptions and insecurities that are bigger than the love people have for me. I have not yet disclosed to an intimate partner or romantic interest. I have gone a whole year not having sex, a huge thing for me. That is partly because of fear, partly because I choose to be with myself. I didn't think I could over come these things. H has forced me to look deeply into the mirror and stop. I have stopped to love myself, accept myself. I had to stop the noises, the world, the outside influences and be in the still. It's been a struggle. I have been in therapy. I have needed it so much. Not so much because of H but more because I have been living broken for so long. I fell in love, head over heels when I was 19 and I never looked back. When he let me go, I refused to let us go. I never let him go and in the lulls between our arguments and divisions I dated and met other men. I tried to start other relationships. When I pushed those away or they didn't work out I always ran back to him and him to me. Then I found out I had H, I believe from him but then again as we know that might not be. That was it. It ended. We argued. And I just had to close the door. A year later here I am. I can say that I am over that person. They are not who I fell in love with. I felt so abandoned by him. I still bump into him in the street and we are like strangers. He has a new woman in his life. I wonder if he is just as dishonest but quickly need to remind myself it is not my business anymore. I have stopped crying from pain, from the hole in my heart. If I cry it is from the pure happiness and love I have. I have a new outlook on life. I have overcome something that was supposed to destroy me. I overcame something I believed made me so unlovable. The only truth is we are as loved as WE want to be. While I still wonder if Mr. Right is out there, it is not what defines me. This has helped me to love myself and in turn be compassionate and loving toward others. I cannot judge anyone because everyone is carrying some burden, perhaps even worse than ours. I am like a brand new baby, born into a new world, curious about every little smell, taste, touch, experience. Am I scared? yes!! Does H suck sometimes?? Hell yes. Though I might not have it as bad as some, it still sucks, but it sucks just as much as acne, or my dry skin or the flu or anything else in life that sucks. How I deal with it, how I see it is what makes or breaks me. I have seen people suffer far much worse in losing loved ones, losing limbs, etc. They seem to keep going, they are strong, they find the will to go above and beyond. So why can't we?? We are no different. I am forever indebted to Adrial for creating this place, this safe haven for us to learn our value and how to live and love again. There is so much life worth living. Though one person left and rejected me, there have been many who have embraced me and in turn shared their secrets with me. It has been a beautiful journey. The journey is only beginning. As I look forward to the fall, to seasons changing, to turning 30, to weddings, to babies, to everything, I can't help but smile from ear to ear. My smile is so huge. If you are having a bad day please know that I am sending you my love and embrace. The dark will pass. You will get through this time and the next and the next. Before you know it you will wonder where the year went. Please love you, please take care of you and please share you with everyone. You are special and whoever doesn't want a piece of that pie well they aren't supposed to be in your life. Relish the moments you have in this life. Thank you for allowing me to share this long story with you and be part of such an amazing opportunity. Lots of love and life to you all!!
  12. Has anyone heard of the Whisper app?? It's so cool. It's similar to the concept of the book PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives (PostSecret). You post anonymously your secrets. The app gives you random user name and you are able to post your secrets like instagram but anonymous. My friend told me about it yesterday. So maybe...those of us who are having trouble disclosing or just having some secret would find this cathartic. I just downloaded it. It's pretty interesting. http://whisper.sh
  13. Hello Everyone. I hope you're all having a good day and if you're not I hope you are now with this happy greeting!! I know we all have had our days and especially with herpes and without it and as we are going through it. A recurring theme or thought I should say is that because we might get rejected by friends or lovers etc. we are unworthy. Because we are rejected because of herpes we are not worthy of love. That is just not true. The people and the person who is not right for you will focus only on that "flaw" and not look at the entire amazing person you are. I have been following this motivational speaker Trent Shelton. He does come from a spiritual perspective and emphasizes God. For me that is big. My point in sharing this particular video with you all is that the heart that is meant for us, meant to love us will love and accept us... all of us. Herpes will not be a big deal, it won't be a defining factor. If someone rejects us that's their issue. We are worth loving. Hope you like this video. Have an amazing day!!!
  14. Nigella everyone is different. I really don't have a problem eating nuts. For me it's kind of trial and error. I had read all nuts and peanut butter. But I have not had a problem. I used to not eat them. I would eat popcorn or peanut butter and be waiting for some H to come out and nothing. It was all in my head. Information is great but sometimes it makes us more paranoid.
  15. Pacific yes I think he prides himself on his sexual nature. How good he is in bed and his physique but deep down inside is masking his insecurities about his own disability. Newlife2013 that sounds like an awesome game I totally am down to play!! It is time to take my power and strength back!! Thank you both!!
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