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kallyL

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  1. I just discovered yesterday that my boyfriend gave me herpes. We have been dating a few months. A few weeks ago he had a slight rash on his penis and he said he thought it was chafing due to the fact we had been having sex quite often. The next week I came down with bad flu like symptoms and then the week after that the pain started. So I asked him about the rash and he said he had had it once before after a one night stand but it had gone away quickly. That set off alarm bells so I said we should both get checked up. We live in different towns and I am much further from a doctor so he managed to see a doctor before I did and was told he had genital herpes . He came to my town to bring me the antivirals. I'm still going to talk to a doctor this week so I can find out more myself. My boyfriend was very upset yesterday about it because he thought I would break up with him. But when he discovered I didn't blame him he become very nonchalant about it just assuming everything will be back to normal. For example he was talking about looking forward to us being able to have sex again when my symptoms clear up. I think he is taking it much easier as he never has shown major symptoms only a bit or a rash and a small blister whereas I was in agony for a good week. I know I was not sensible myself and have to take responsibility for that. I started taking the pill when we started dating instead of suggesting we both get tested. To be honest I assumed I was the one more likely to have something as I had a stage of being a bit promiscuous although I have been tested since then whereas he said he was more of a relationship type of guy and has not had many partners. Despite logically knowing it's not his fault resentment is still building up at how easily he has dismissed it. He does show concern for me being upset but I think doesn't understand why I'm taking it so badly. I was crying this morning thinking about how it's a stigma that will be with me for life. I think another reason it's affected me a lot is that I have had self esteem issues and guilt surrounding my feeling that I was promiscuous in the past although ironically I never caught an std when I dated the bad boy player type of guys. I don't know if I will 100% feel the same way about relationships and sex for a long time and maybe never feel the exact same way about him. I was just wondering about other people's experiences with these issues and how herpes has affected your relationships?
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