kimmie

Ps perhaps a blood test could provide some kind of indication of a timeline (recent infection vs acquired years ago) but I don't have details on that: hopefully one of our vets here can help on that part of your question better than I. :)

Unfortunately, there is no set time for 'dormancy' prior to onset of noticeable symptoms. Some people have breakouts within days of exposure, some much later, but most don't recognize symptoms at all. I will let one of our resident experts give you better specifics, but I've heard of people finding out they carry the virus after 30 years of monogamous marriage. I don't blame you for being concerned about potential infidelity but this virus is so tricky, and can hide in people so long, there is no way to know for sure if it was picked up prior to, or during your marriage.

Congrats!!! Sounds like you did things just right, great encouraging story for all of us!!

Me too

Thanks for all the kind words!!

I will let one of the vet experts provide the info on potential nerve damage part, but I think the constipation is very common during first OB. For me it was due to the terrible pain from the sores themselves, I just couldn't bring myself to exert any pressure to "go." For the first couple of days, wiping, urinating etc was just excruciating. I don't think the Valtrex caused it though; I take it for suppressive therapy and have no problems now.

For a little background-I was diagnosed about a year ago during my first OB, which was subsequently swiftly followed by a breakup. The breakup in and of itself wouldn't have been a problem at all, but the timing couldn't have felt any worse. After almost a year's break from dating, I met a great guy. We have been taking things slow. Finally, at what felt like the right time (after about 2 and a half months, and of course BEFORE sex) I took a deep breath and disclosed. It was important to me that I deliver my message not from a place of shame, but of confidence and knowledge. I spent a couple of weeks prior preparing myself, making sure I was armed with as much accurate information as possible. I put together a mental outline just like I would for a presentation at work, which helped me organize my thoughts and ensure I covered the points important to me. 1. a quick explanation of my situation (GHSV-1) 2. some stats relating to herpes types (oral vs. genital, 1 vs. 2, etc.) and prevalence in my age group (single women over 40) 3. explanation of how it is transmitted, and that majority of people who carry the virus don't know it 4. how suppressive therapy and condoms minimize, but not fully eliminate, the risk of transmission Once I got all this out on the table, I then answered his questions to the best of my ability, and told him about the resources that have been helpful to me (Adrial's handouts, this website, etc). No hand-wringing, didn't ask for his acceptance, no mention of my deep fears of rejection. Just the facts while looking him straight in the eye. He was a total sweetheart : didn't freak out, appreciated and respected my honesty, and told me that he wasn't going anywhere. We discussed in further detail for about 30 minutes, then went on to other things. He hasn't brought it up since. I know that oftentimes men need to hibernate in order to process this stuff, but that didn't happen here. He has been even more attentive than before. I know I am definitely lucky and understand that no amount of preparation, confidence, nor delay of sex guarantee a positive outcome, but I do know these elements definitely make a difference for those of us looking for a long term partner. Thanks to all who regularly post here, this forum has been a huge support and resource for me. Kimmie

No redness no itching just mild irritation I can feel. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I think I psych myself into making it feel worse. I've been on meds for a month, feels the same as it did before.

I am not worried so much about the timing of the disclosure (as long as before we have sex), I'm ready for that now, maybe tonight. I am well prepared for that part after all the good info from this site. I'm more concerned about my interpretation of these symptoms in relation to timing of sex, to know whether Prodromes or not, since I know I'm more apt to pass along during one. But I just can't tell either way if what I'm experiencing is that or not; I can't perceive any correlation of their timing with an OB. If I want to stay on safe side and treat these symptoms as potential shedding episodes, then I feel like I should just give up and be celibate the rest of my life, because I'm feeling 'something' going on down there 2/3's of time. :/

Never an OB on the mouth that I remember, just genitals which started 1 year ago. I was swabbed and test came back for HSV-1. Since my first OB was so bad, my guess is that was my first exposure.

I have had GHS-1 for about a year. My first OB was horrible , but only 3 fairly minor ones since, and a random lone bump here and there. I have been seeing this guy for almost 3 months. I began suppressive therapy a couple of weeks ago, and planned on disclosing tonight. No, we haven't had sex yet; he has been super-respectful about waiting. I do think he is sincere and feel pretty optimistic about the outcome of the 'big conversation.' My question is about Prodromes. I have experienced mild feeling of irritation in my genital area on and off most of my life. I haven't been able identity Prodromes before any OB at all. Everything feels the same down there as before my infection. And of course I feel something the day I want to disclose-grrrrr. No itching, no pain, no redness, just a mild irritation that comes and goes. And of course, since I'm a recovering hypochondriac (seriously) and I'm worried about it, my brain is probably magnifying the sensation I'm feeling artificially. So, I'm looking for some input here. It's important to me to be responsible, and want to minimize chance of passing this on. However, if I wait for when I have no irritation, that would only be a few days out of the month. Does my symptoms sound like a real Prodromes? And how long should a person wait for sex after one? Your thoughts are appreciated.

Hello all! I've been a faithful lurker since first introducing myself in mid October. I've handled this mess pretty damn well (if I do say so myself) largely in part to reading all of your informational and encouraging posts, and am grateful for all of you. I have a few new questions: 1. GHSV1+, and thinking I might be having 2nd outbreak. I check things out daily to keep an eye out (yes I'm a bit of a hypochondriac). As of last night, nothing. At 5:00 am , 5-6 bumps (one looked like maybe a blister?). As of 5 this afternoon, bumps already all shrunken, faded, and nothing even remotely resembling a blister left. No discomfort. Can an outbreak come and go in 12 hours? Or does this sound like something else? 2. I sometimes have a problem with fatigue, and have felt utterly exhausted this week. I've read (along with menstruation and eating too many cashews!) that exhaustion could be a pre-curser to an OB. Does the OB itself cause the fatigue? Or if I let myself get rundown, am I more susceptible to one? 3. Lets say it is an OB; if I hit it with my anti-viral arsenal, will it diminish my body's production of antibodies? I want to build up my immune system as quickly as possible to mitigate future occurrences. 4. I'm pretty close to hitting menopause; will likelihood of OBs diminish once my girly hormones settle down? Thanks for all your insight and patience with us newbies! xoxo Kimmie

Everyone has posted some awesome points here. As someone who has struggled with self-esteem issues all her life, I feel I can contribute a bit here too. It is amazing how accomplishments, both big and small, can boost your self esteem. And, the better you feel about yourself, the less you will worry about someone else wanting you. There are small things you can do that take little effort, depending upon your personality and present habits. For me, it is keeping my house cleaner (seeing my bed made before I do anything else just makes me feel GOOD), learning to cook different dishes, learn a little about history, etc. These little things make me feel more in control, smarter, more competent, etc. Also, there are big things you can do that may take a real investment of your time and energy, but once you accomplish them, you'll feel like you can tackle anything. Maybe learn a foreign language, play guitar, get into community theatre, etc. For me, it was getting fit. After 25 years of no exercise and gaining 100 pounds, at the age of 47, I decided to start running. Crazy, I know! My first goal was to run a 5K. 6 months into the training, I ran and finished a half marathon. Me, who for years was always the fattest girl in the room! I'm not telling you to brag (I was one of sloooooowest), but to let you know how good this made me feel about myself. I felt like hot stuff! LOL Seriously, I felt like I could conquer the world! I didn't have to convince myself, my new sassy attitude came naturally, because I knew that if I could do that, I could do anything I wanted. A girl with that kind of attitude exudes confidence, which is attractive to any man. If you can get to this place, you won't worry about finding a man, because they will just find you. You sound like a sweet girl that does have a lot to offer. A good man appreciates a good girl, so give yourself some credit. Try to take a deep breath, and just focus on yourself for awhile; your dreams, goals, etc, start working at what makes you feel good. Tke care of your body, take recommended medicine and supplements to cut back on OBs. And before you know it, you will feel better, more confident, and less fear about your romantic future. xoxoxoxo kimmie

Mom2one-you are not alone! I'm in same boat, newly diagnosed and dumped by the guy that gave it me. I understand the "feeling alone" thing. I work from home, live 350 miles from my family, and feel a little lost here. But lets promise each to just keep soaking in all the information, support, and encouragement that is always available here on the website. I ALWAYS feel better after reading some of the posts here. I promise you, if we take steps now to stay positive, lean on our support systems, take care of our bodies, and become informed, 6 months from now, we can look back at this crummy time and think "...you know, it hasn't been nearly as bad as I feared!" xoxoxo Kimmie

@WCSDancer: I have a kidney thing, so UTIs are very dangerous for me. The docs usually bring out the heavy guns (Cipro) to knock it out. Good news is I don't have this problem often. I do like Cranberry juice though, so I need to drink more of that. @forgivenessandpeace, your comments make sense. Doctor put me on Valacyclovir for 10 days; no side affects thank God. (I was a little worried about edema which can sometimes be a problem with these drugs but no issues there.) Thanks ladies!