rterrell

And that's it I'm done not posting anymore moving on with my life good luck to you guys.

Ok I just got another IGG and IGM antibody test for herpes simplex this past week both types and both were negative for both types, so this is around three or four months now and I'm officially putting this behind me. I would never wish genital herpes on anyone and I would not wish to go through the "ups and downs" associated with this. I'm definitely not looking to add anything more in the "down" category, and I want to give myself the very very best things that are out there. I have not spoken to the woman who disclosed to me after the fact and I am not interested in any further contact with her ever. I'm glad that this website supports a pro-disclosure policy. But I don't want to go through this AGAIN and it made me very conscious of the fact that I want things to be a certain way and that I have the power to make things the way I want them. I don't want to get STDs and I have the power to prevent that. @PositivelyBeautiful, you can look at it any way you choose, but I choose to take the choice into MY hands and not go around thinking that something was taken away when I made the mistake of sleeping with her in the first place. I have a choice how I want to get sexually involved with people, and I have a choice to ask a person about STDs before I sleep with them, and I have a choice to ask them to get tested before we have sex and I have and had all of these choices that are and were MINE but I just didn't think about them and that's why I ended up having this terrifying scare. Now, I know better and it is empowering to me to realize that the choice is in MY HANDS where it always was, and what I do or don't do is going to affect my life, in all areas of my life.

@Im44 It's nice that you feel this way now. But be prepared for the feelings to go away. I've read a lot of stories like this: the HSV+ person is "doing great," in a relationship with someone they love. Then either (a) their HSV-negative partner gets herpes from them, or (b) they break up with their HSV-negative partner. A lot of times what happens next is all those negative feelings around herpes come rushing back in, as if the floodgates are open again. Just be prepared for the doubt, the uncertainty, the realization that the right thing to do is to disclose to your partners for the rest of your life, even casual ones.

Well look, uh, this was a SURPRISE. I didn't see this coming. One minute everything was on the up and up, and the next minute, she drops the bomb on me. I'm not the type of guy that likes surprises as it is. I like everything status quo, regular. So this was kind of a shock. We haven't spoken since she told me but yeah I guess I could accept that she was scared and all. But it's weird that she did disclose but after sex I mean it seems like if she was scared she shoud've either disclosed before sex or not disclosed and broken up with me. That's people for you I guess...

Well, my post was not condescending. It is expressing my anger and shock that she LIED TO ME about having an STD. Whether or not you felt my post was condescending is YOUR problem, not mine. Yeah, I should've asked if I was that worried about it. BUT she had a legal obligation to disclose to me. In my state, not disclosing ANY std, curable or incurable, is illegal. So she had a legal and moral obligation, and she blew it with me. Now I have to go through the distress of worrying whether I have herpes for the next several months, and I don't like it at all. No, I am not forgiving of people's deception and deceit when it concerns me and has the chance to affect me. And this can affect me in a major way. So I stop caring about people's shortcoming at the doorstep to my own self-interest.

I just found this website the other day, and I put myself in a situation that I shouldn't have. I had been seeing this woman and we had sex for the first time a month and a half ago. That was the first time. Then, a few days later, she confesses to me that she has genital herpes. I couldn't believe that she didn't disclose that to me earlier, and I told her that was extremely deceptive, dishonest, and self-serving. Anyway, I'm not seeing her anymore and I want no contact with her. BUT what if I contracted herpes from sleeping with her? She says that she was on Valtrex (yeah right), and we did use a condom. But still. She looked alright down below, didn't see anything wrong, but I don't know, I've read some things on this site over the past few days that are not encouraging. If I get herpes, I think that would be it for me. Plus, the way I feel now, I could murder the woman who didn't disclose to me first BEFORE sex (no not literally but I would really scream at her if I saw her on the street). I got a herpes test a few days ago, something called "igg" and "igm" and both were negative for both types of herpes. Does that mean I'm in the clear?