confused79

Okay, sorry but I'm spinning again. I guess I'm still a little concerned that there hasn't been outreach in two days just to ask how I'm feeling. I need to relax, right? Not be so selfish...but it's hard because it's not like I can tell all my girlfriends why my new guy isn't speaking to me. And it's not like I knew and gave it to him...I found out and had to tell the bad news! This is ridiculous thought behavior...I get it. I feel so alone and wondering if things will ever even be close to how great they were, or will he never want to touch or see me again. Ugh, this whole two week period has been tough. But I keep putting it into perspective ; I realize things could be much worse. Just venting. Any encouragement would help.

Thank you. I'm going back in three months to be retested by blood.

Thanks. I understand that a male or female could be a carrier without symptoms. I'm just trying to figure out if this was definitely him or perhaps I got it a few months back and don't have antibodies yet. The fact that the culture can't differentiate is confusing me. The nurse was even confused. I'm not even sure why I'm asking the question to be honest. No matter the type, I'm positive regardless.

He's never had a cold sore or OB. We've only been together a month. I'm confused as to why my culture doesn't differentiate between 1 & 2.

Thank you.I felt so helpless until this site..I was beginning to spin up awful stories in my mind about why he's not talking to me. It's such a new relationship that my fear was that avoiding me would be easier than dealing with his shame; although I've said I'm not angry he can't hear it right now. Thank you for pointing out all of the scenarios that I'd forgotten he's processing: I'm dealing with a diagnosis, he's dealing with diagnosis AND guilt. I'm hoping things work out between us because he's a very special person. Right now, this site is helping me focus on MY healing instead of his, which is the first time I've done that. I'm feeling less burdened and tainted and more hopeful. When the time is right over the next few days, I will offer him the information suggested.

Does this mean my current partner definitely gave this to me? I was with someone else a few months ago, but I'm just trying to figure things out. My current partner is coming undone at the thought that a) He did this to me and b) the shock of finding this out for himself. I've suggested he get tested, but he's still reeling right now. Just searching for answers so I can move on with this.

Deleted

I began having symptoms immediately after our first time together. We just thought it was my body acting weird to a new partner, so we kept exploring each other and being excited about this awesome, incredible new relationship. Unfortunately, things got worse; he was constantly concerned, thinking I was allergic to him or he had been too rough. I finally went to the doctor again after she had first told me it was a bacterial infection...she then said I think we need to test for herpes. I got a swab and blood test. After 4days of holding this in, I finally told him I was being tested and placed on medicine for it. He immediately freaked out, asked why I wasn't mad at him, began asking a million questions. He was trusting through all of it, never considered it was me that did this. When my blood test came back negative, he had some hope that it wasn't herpes but I knew it had to be....just waiting on the culture to confirm. My negative blood test only meant the virus was brand new to my body. After the billion questions, he went military silent, only reaching out to see if I'd heard from my doctor. Then the news came that my culture was positive but so new that they can't even yet tell if it's 1 or 2. He competely melted down; said he's guilt stricken, feels disgusting, etc. We've only been together a month. I told him again I'm not angry at him, the situation, yes. He doesn't understand why. I asked if I'd ever see him again, and he said I dont know what to do, I'm not myself, I'm totally stressed. He hasn't reached out since that telephone call. I am trying to give him space to process, realizing that I've had more time to deal, but I need support too. That pill is a daily reminder of reality. We are both recently divorced and have children. He's with his children this weekend so I didn't expect to discuss further, but curious if anyone has dealt with this. The only blogs I find are not similar. I have no doubt He didn't know based on his reaction; he's competely devastated. I'm struggling with the diagnosis AND the fact that I may have lost a really great guy over something that wasn't my fault-I feel like I'm the one being punished here.