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hope29

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Everything posted by hope29

  1. She's like that about everything. Not sure why but she's a know it all.. I'm glad it went good too. Oh the look on her face when she realized she has it orally was priceless. But then she told me about her on again off again guy saying he had bumps so I think it clicked for her. She's understanding it was just all in my head. Once I became ok with H it is easier to get other people to see H isn't so bad. Sucks but not the end of the world. Just a bump in it. Lol pun intended ;)
  2. It's been awhile since I've been on. As most know I just moved half way cross the country. My mom came to visit :) we were discussing make up and she told me her lipstick gives her coldsores.. I'm laughing standing next to her and say that's herpes. We go back and forth couple times. Her saying no me saying yes... explaining it's common she says whatever you have herpes I said actually I do.. she turned and looked at me I guess to see if I'm lying she says no you don't. I said actually I do. Explained my distance from the family during my diagnosis the depression then the acceptance. I told her statistics. The fear of her judging me was all for nothing.. she said it is what it is.. I feel like a huge relief is off of me... it's out there. Ugh don't feel like I'm hiding it anymore. Asked her not to tell my sister. Unfortunately my sister is not understanding. She is younger with 2 kids if she thought I could give them h I'd never be well owed to see my nieces when I go home. Even tho its down south she would not beleive they wouldn't get it... even a doctor could tell her that she would disagree. Yes she's that person whose always right even if there's hard proof. So I'd rather have the relationship with my nieces. But good news is. It's OUT THERE!!!!!! 25 years old and afraid to tell my mom about herpes
  3. I try to do this. But in all fairness I have just started practicing this. It's hard to step back & take a hard look at what your feeling. Adrial if you ever have some free time id be extremely grateful if you could help a sista out.. I'm a hot mess :) ugh lol
  4. I don't if anyone saw but the show the doctors did a segment on ocular herpes & kinda helped destigmatie it.. just throwing that out there... my first ob was horrible I itched something fierce I'm surprised I have skin. Anyways I didn't know it was H next I wake up after a sleepless night of tossing scratching. I know that I'm extremely bad for touching my face. So I imagine at some point in that night I touched skin. I always wipe my eyes when I wake up & I don't have herpe eyes... ; ) I have thought I've had it everywhere. It's all in my head. Guess if you think I didn't know I had it there then where else could it be. Don't stress. Don't google herpes in your eye either you will instantly have every sysymptom :) smile it gets better
  5. Yea huge blonde moment on my part. Didn't think it was gonna be h idk what I thought but wow I regret that. Might not have been as bad had I not poked the bear
  6. Yea I had my first on the outside inside backside Damn everyside.. don't be like me and not know it's herpes & use a heating pad..
  7. You can also insert yogurt into the vagina for yeast. Not greek just plain yogurt. Had a few obgyns recommend it.
  8. My lymph node is huge & hard during my ob. Don't stress it too much. Like dancer said give it a few days.. mine took a few weeks cuz I was having a small ob after my big ob. So took a while
  9. I don't know if I'm much help but I'm a Lil over a month into my diagnosis or so I think.. I don't think I was over my first ob before the second one came charging in. This one not so bad like a paper cut or two lol but itching sucks. But I did not take my diagnosis well. I had the oh great nobody will want me too I don't even like me too I can't live with this onto so many dark places in a matter of days. I literally went through every emotion 50 times a day. A Rollercoaster. I am blessed to have a man who more than helped me through this he carried me through it. Then I wok up & realized it's not that bad. In all honesty I went through a period of my life where I used sex to find love & herpes was the result of my low self-esteem. So now I get to keep herpes forever :) I take a shower & I start laughing cuz it's all u can do. It's not going away. Breathe cuz someone will love you & at least they will love you & be with you cuz they want to. There are dating sites for people with H. Who want to be loved to. But you have to accept this first. Guess it's like the saying nobody can love you until you love yourself. It's going to be ok. But you can't go into a relationship feeling negative about h & expect someone to understand it hope that kinda helps chin up. Got to find the humor in this or it will bring you completely down.
  10. Lmao. That's the walk.... before I found about h. It would swell I cried cuz I thought it was going to stay like that. Lol when u tell kids not to make funny faces or it will get stuck like that. Yep that's how I felt. Beat red & looking like I had flap Jacks down there.
  11. He was literally laughing at me waddle to the bathroom. I was like omg this is the most it has ever swollen.. I do use lube I'll try more tho. Cant hurt until it turns into a slip n slide. Wow its funny to think all these signs and I never thought it was H.. Il try the cold wash cloth I usually just walk funny to bed then hope by morning I'm normal again. Thank you
  12. I have been experiencing vagina swelling after intercourse. I have read this is a part of having herpes. Looking back before my diagnosis this makes sense since I have been getting it for probably a month before I found out about my Lil side kick. So the question is can I do anything to stop or ease this. I guess an ice pack but any other things to do? Or is my findings wrong and this is not herpes related? Thank you
  13. Yea I take lysine & multI vitamin. Trying to avoid anti vitals so my body can fight this on its own.
  14. Many people suggest 1500 MG of lysine. This is what I take plus a multi vitamin with immune booster.I eat more oranges than a normal person should. That's what a lot of the people on here will suggest. I'm trying to do this as naturally as I can to get my body to fight it on its own. I get my vitamins from whole foods also. They are just processed differently than walmarts version. As far as who you got it from is a guess... the ex could have got it in the affair she could of always had it you could of always had it the gf could of always had it. I have no clue who I got it from. 10 years I've been sexually active test atreat once a year but they don't test for herpes. I never knew this. Too late now huh. It can go so long being dormant that you can't really be mad if they didn't know. So yes it's possible the gf had it & has never had symptoms. Like I said I could have got it 8 years or 8 months ago. Hopefully not 8 months cuz then the ol man has some explaining to do I'm joking he didn't cheat but my fiancé could have had it & never knew & my immune system was finally weak enough for it to come out in a blaze of fury.
  15. hope29

    Therapy

    I seen a therapist before h moved got new therapist literally seen her once got h seen her second appt. She was judgmental. So never went back to her. So I didn't go cuz of h... but it's the stigma of nobody wanting you again the disgust shame all the feelings you get after you get something that has such a horrible stigma not to mention you get to keep it forever :)
  16. It's been a month since my diagnosis. The itchiness hasn't really gone away. Not that I remember at least. Possible second ob? I had a cut that or thought it was looked like paper cut is that an ob? Can you have an ob with no lesions? My lymph node has not went down is this normal? Trying to avoid meds other than lysine but maybe I should take a dose of meds... can this still be the first ob? Wtf is going on down there? Sorry this is all over the place but Ive read to many posts lately & didn't realize that you don't have to be in pain with gross numbs to be having an ob. Does this sound like second ob or first still.. could my bost just be slowly fighting this
  17. Thank you for sharing that. I do try to find the humor in it. Oh I'm sure I've made nasty snarls about people I thought had herpes. Huh jokes on me cuz I might of had h then lol oh sweet irony. Oh well. Don't like that I have H then pls feel free to go somewhere else. Chances are you probably have it to. At least I won't be sharing it to everyone I feel like
  18. @dancer I love reading your posts. Such a great inspiration.
  19. I have discloses to one friend she pretty much said that sucks & we continued talking like I had just told her I ruined my favorite jeans. It was no big deal to her. Now I don't keep many friends & since I'm new to the area haven't made any here. I have looked at it like this if I feel like you are going to judge me then I distant myself from them. I think the girl I call my bff would be the most judgmental so I haven't talked to her. I don't need that in my life. I judge myself enough don't need the help. As for the therapist I will be sending her a letter I didn't realize how upsetting it was for me. @dancer I will send you the info of the radio station. It is inappropriate. Surely they can find another joke to go with. I feel like everyday I take another step forward with dealing with this. Wish I could tell my mom but I don't want to hear what she has to say. Well the bright side I'm 25 I'm healthy & this is manageable. Guess I'll find a new therapist. Hopefully one less judgemental
  20. Oo oh almost forgot I started seeing new therapist since I just moved to a new state. I had been seeing a therapist before my move to deal with things from childhood. Well I tell my new therapist about my diagnosis & the look of judgement almost brought me to tears. She looked directly at me eyes wide mouth dropped open then eyes go to my crotch then back to me. I rendered her speechless. I almost walked out of the appt. I never went back to her. Just couldn't believe she judged me so obviously
  21. No your right life does suck sometimes no its not always herpes fault but Def doesn't help. I guess that's y I have taken it so easily is cuz of him. But what If we don't work. Then I have to face this alone. Then what date again but with h tagging along. Sorry this sounds so neg. Just my thoughts
  22. Idk why everything keeps posting twice ugh
  23. I'm trying everyday.. I have managed not to cry over it which is a big step for me. Ive cracked a few h jokes on myself. I just remember the pain & I don't want to get that surprise again I just want to know so I can snip it in the butt. Sucks I don't want family to know so I can't talk to them. My fiance doesn't really care to talk about it. It's no big deal for him & doesn't understand why it bothers me. So thanks @inka for giving me some positive feedback
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