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  1. Thanks all. I checked out the info and was able to explain it better to him. He was just trying to research what the testing was all about and got a bit confused. Test was taken yesterday soooooo ... idk, fingers crossed?
  2. So my boyfriend has agreed to get a blood test. We've been sexually active for about a month now. I asked him to get a blood test within the next month to see what his status is. I've given him this time frame because if he gets tested now and comes back positive, then I know he had it before me. If not, then I'll know not. Selfish reason I know, but he is aware of why and is ok with it. I gave him the info on where to get tested. And of course he is now Googling this and reads that a blood test only takes a few weeks to show positive. To be honest, other than being told here that
  3. just wanted to say thank you @seeker. I found a place in SH for him to go to ... $59 ... walk-in, test and get the results emailed. easy-peasy :-)
  4. thanks all. I tried google dancer ... and got overwhelmed! hahaha Thanks Seeker! That was what I was looking for.
  5. Hi all! So, we had a follow up talk this weekend. He is on board to take the test. I offered to look up some testing facilities for him. Who thought that would be an overwhelming task???? Just want to make sure I get him to the right place and ask for the right test. I need to make sure they do the IgG test, correct? and can he go to any kind of blood-test lab, like a Quest Diagnostics or a LabCorp? Or does it have to be a clinic? He doesn't have a PCP, but I'm wondering if a walk-in clinic could do the same thing?
  6. thank you @positivelybeautiful. It's definitely different with him. He always jokes that he has a bigger vagina than most women he knows :-P because he likes to talk things out. That is fine by me ;-) What was great is, once we were done talking about herpes, we moved right on to the next conversation. I asked him if he was thinking about not seeing me anymore because of this. He goes "nnnnooooooooo. shut off your brain" haha
  7. Hi everyone. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice. It really helped me "simmer down" and have a rational conversation about this with him. So, I get his feelings about people finding out and then looking at him like "he must have herpes since he's with her". My choice of disclosing is my choice. Even if I choose to tell my status to someone, they do not have a right to "out" me to others. They do not have the right to discuss this around the water cooler with others that I have disclosed to. What I was not realizing was, that although he is H- (assuming, since he's nev
  8. Thanks @Sil88. You're right, I made the choice to tell. Unfortunately, one of the people I told just happens to be a mutual friend. He asked me to not tell any of his other friends. Which made my jaw drop. Like I would say "hey nice to meet you and btw I have herpes and I'm f'ing your friend." Believe me, i get the whole "it's my choice to tell, not your choice to tell for me" and I get that if he decides to stay with me, he will have to deal with this. And he will have to deal with the stigma just as much as I will (well, not just as much, but some). This whole conversation
  9. Thanks @NMissouri. I'm trying to breathe about this and calm down. You're right, when it's someone else's issue, it's easy to say it's "don't beat yourself up" but when you are in the situation, well it's looked at differently. I told him I'm pretty torn up about what he said. He said he didn't mean it like that. Whatever. I'll keep in mind that he is H- and has never had to deal with this, so he is not sensitive to these kinds of remarks and doesn't really "get it". I'm not going to sugar coat my feelings, but I will calm down a bit before having this discussion.
  10. So, I've been dating this guy for about a month. We've been friends for a year and a half, I told him about me being H+ before anything sexual ever happened. So, we are talking today via text and I let him know that one of our mutual friends, I'll call her Amy, asked me how things were going with us. Amy also knows I'm H+. So, I told him that I told her we have been seeing each other. His comment was this "Since you've told her your situation, if we don't work out and she runs her mouth, then I'll be marked". Marked? Are you fucking kidding me? This is the same man who told me I sh
  11. Hahahaha no, was actually baking cookies. Hahaha
  12. You are so right Dancer. Everything is really a risk. I know it's just a worry I have, but I'm not really letting it consume me. I've done all I can to educate him and let him know there is always open communication - and that is really all I can do. Sooooo, with that, I need to go freshen up the hair and makeup some since he is coming by in a bit and we are going to bake cookies :-) Thank you everyone for the words of advice :-) It also warms my heart a bit to know that my own post helped someone else in their day :-)
  13. Thank you all so much. You all are right, I need to live in the present and enjoy the time and connection with this man now. He's a good man - I wonder why I ever got so upset over the idiots I dated in the past. But, you know how it gets, if it wasn't herpes making me doubt, then it would be something else I'm sure :-P Just how my brain works. The cynical side of me is like, something is going good, soooo what is going to happen that will mess it up? However, I am working on that :-) I think the thing that worries me the most is me transmitting this to him. I know we are taking every
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