Cali

If that is so.. What about h makes you want to see a therapist?

I didn't plan on going to a therapist. I'm not as bothered as others and any questions I have I usually come here for the answers. :-) I was just wondering why others went to therapist and I guess being diagnosed and the stigma has them worked up. I understand

I see a few people speak of Therapist but some have them for other reasons before h came along. Did anyone get a therapist to cope or learn how to deal with h?

Yeaa thanks!

If I'm not mistaken I spoke of him in a different discussion. He's more than a friend but that's the title we claim to each other, if someone else asked who knows what he would say because we've talked about being together and finally I made up in my mind that I don't want to be with him. It has nothing to do with being untrustworthy or betrayal or anything that would make me not want to be his friend. The relationship we share is why we can't JUST BE FRIENDS.. He's asked me before I was diagnosed did I have something and if that was why I wouldn't sleep with him and I didn't have a reason. Now I have H and I was torn between telling him because he has been a friend that always listens and that I trust and love or don't tell him because even though he wants to be with me I don't want to be with him but he's still been a genuine friend. Like a husband your best friend and lover.. Do you guys get it? You would have to be there first hand to understand. Disclosing to him is like me disclosing to my best friend which I did. But I also use to sleep with him and Never slept with my best friend. Talked about being together things I didn't talk about with my best friend.. But I can't make you guys understand. He's a good friend, but I don't want to be with him for other reasons. So because I don't want to be with him I shouldn't disclose because we can't just be friends because of the relationship we've shared?

I only disclosed to my best friend the day I was diagnosed. But this guy I've been on again off again for years with is still around and before I mentioned he asks why won't I let him touch me... For one I'm not ready to disclose to him. &2, he's not someone I can see myself in a long term relationship with; I felt that way before H. In my dream he went to my dad to ask him why wasn't I giving him a chance, he dropped a few tears and in my dream I felt soo bad. He said that how could I love someone so much and she not want to be with me. Okay, now in reality that is something he has actually said to me. But I'm ready to end everything we have. Should I disclose to him and then go on to say that I don't see a future that's why I didn't tell him earlier or should I just stop talking and leave him wondering what happened..

My BESTFRIEND just found out she has Herpes too! Wow! Is it really that common? She thought it was an ingrown hair it only appeared after shaving... Sucks! Happy she didn't take it soo bad seeing how well I deal with it. I told her get on the forum! It's a good resource...

Well you can't really choose the people you work with or determine their attitudes, you also can't choose you're family. So even if you surround yourself with understanding and compassionate people, some of the most important people to us aren't always as understanding and compassionate as others.

I knoooow :-(

I didn't really take being diagnosed bad. I knew something was wrong, I just didn't know what... I've noticed outside of the forum it's easy to talk to someone about H who has had an STD before PERIOD. They aren't easily disgusted or terrified. They understand. I said if I ever gain the guts to tell someone besides my best friend they would have to be someone that listens to comprehend and not one that listens to respond. Those are the hardest people to get to understand what you're saying, feeling, what you mean. Having H gets better with time. After all the research, discussions, after coming to LET IT ALL OUT.. You'll feel a lot better. I have!

Today makes two weeks and I think about H less and less. I HATE that before I didn't save myself for MY husband. Before, I saved myself for who I thought was the right guy and ALWAYS was wrong, now I feel like I can't make mistakes of choosing the wrong guy cause I'll have to tell him something he may not be able to handle. I JUST WISH I WOULD WAITED UNTIL MARRIAGE! :-)

This guy and I have been on and off for 2 years AS FRIENDS! Quick history: kissed probably twice, slept in the same bed never too much intimacy, no sexual intercourse. We've always liked each other but didn't think it would work until NOW.. where we want the same things... We went on a friendly date the other night and tonight he said "we need to have a sit down and talk about what's expected on both ends" I'm still not sure if it'll work so I don't want to jump the gun and tell him about h+ but I feel like if I don't he'll fall for me and not be able to handle it in the end. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

AGREED

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has thought like that in this lifetime.. But yeaaa that changed quick as I see it can happen to anyone. :-)

Awwww... I wouldn't turn myself down either. &there are really awesome people like myself ;-). I use to be so close minded to things like this.. It was like eww.. I'm 22 so you can imagine. I'm still growing. A lot more mature and understanding. Especially after it happened to me!

I wish everyone was as understanding as me. I use to be disgusted by STD's I figured you had to have been out sleeping with EVERYONE; Now I see all it takes is that ONE person you trust to not care &to not tell... I wasn't as understanding as I am now! Thanks a lot (h)

I read something about a lady comparing heart disease to herpes and made it like we're not living with the worst thing because her husband is dying from this(heart disease) &she assumes that's why the vows are "through sickness and health". She wouldn't change her life but she'd much rather him have H+. This was my 1st STD I've always been pretty cautious. I NEVER thought I'd have one or I'd sleep with someone who had one. My question is: if the shoe was on the other foot with your knowledge would you have sex with someone who had it, date or marry someone with it? If someone disclosed this to you that you enjoyed spending time with but not quite loved, could you guys still move forward or would you run away?

Yeaa that makes sense. I forgot the website, I know you can't believe everything you read that's why I brought it here to ask. :-)

I just read Herpes is a skin disease not a vagina/penis infection... It just chooses those places to breakout because of the type of skin and moisture that is there!?!? I guess that's right... I mean I have Ob between my buttcheeks... >sorry< &I've NEVER had anal sex sooo I don't really understand!

After I was diagnosed I kind of had my mind made up that I wasn't taking any anti- virals. I didn't want to make any type of medicine apart of my everyday. I've always had a fear of it being in my immune system and not working well with any other medicine I may have to take one day. So I've never been on birth control and I don't usually take pain medicine unless the pain is unbareable. I've been taking Valtrex everyday 3 times a day... Should I? Do you guys take any anti- virals? Is there something different I can do? I really just do not want to face an OB that's painful like the ones I've read about!

I see now, interesting.

Sorry.

No.. I use a different one for my face. I'm asking is it Ok to use the same one for my body and down under or should I have 3 different cloths!? Lol

I use a different wash cloth for my face, but should I use a different one for private area also? Can I spread it if I don't use different cloths?

Thanks guys! I try to stay positive.. I think about this EVERYDAY, like no one can see any OB's unless my clothes are off which they won't be so why am I acting like I can't go on Normal. I feel like I'm hiding! What can I do to think less of it? Also I was able to get it cultured, so did I have an OB? like those times I was shaving and thought I was cut, was it an OB? I haven't had any bumps or blisters. Only punctured skin, red and hurtful, stings, hurts when washing.. Was that an OB? it's happened 3 times over the course of 3 months...