sanngrior

I never argued "big pharma" wasn't corrupt or that research can't be skewed. I simply stated that its unlikely scientists are holding back cures and research because they make more profit off of treatment. There are several, very tragic historical cases of pharmaceutical companies and government agencies doing terrible things in the name of research. Nothing will ever make that okay, or make it better. But these cases are the extreme rarity, not the norm. Many of the statements Pfizer makes about problematic scientific methods are true - and true for all scientific disciplines, not just medicine. Unfortunately most scientific journals publish big, positive results. Its anticlimactic to public an article stating "we spent thousands of dollars and years looking for an effect, but statistically couldn't find one." In a world of publish or perish for scientists, this creates a pressure to both pursue only research that will likely show large effect (aka, things we already know) and skew our statistics towards an effect. This focus on "positive results" is wrong, and something that most scientific communities recognize and attempt to address. Additionally the inherit issue with human trials is that it is almost impossible to have any control over other factors - a person's diet, exercise level, genetic make up, environment, and other health issues can also greatly impact the effectiveness (or not) of any given drug. This leads to smaller sample size. Have you smoked before? Can't participate in study. Do you have any other medical conditions? Can't participate . . . etc. Furthermore, the idea that there is NO research being done on herpes simply isn't true. A Google Scholar search (academic, research level articles) for the past 5 years pulls up over 26,000 research papers, editorials, and books covering herpes simplex from a variety of journals. Hell, a couple days ago NASA committed $80,000 to studying increased herpes simplex outbreaks and in space! HERPES. IN. SPACE. Additionally, the vast majority of ground breaking research is not done by private pharmaceutical companies - its done by universities and government agencies. In these situations there is no incentive to hide breakthroughs, because large results equate to more funding and tenured positions. Most research projects have multiple scientist working on them at a time, making it unlikely a pharmaceutical company could scare all parties out of sharing results. Furthermore prestige is a much larger incentive than money for the vast majority of scientists. Nobody goes into research for money - there are far more lucrative things bright people could be doing. But a Nobel Prize? Being the next Darwin? Every scientist's fantasy. The reality is that whoever came up with a cure or vaccine would make a TON of money off of it. Think about it – many people with herpes avoid antivirals because they don’t have frequent outbreaks, their partner also has herpes, or they don’t like the side effects. If a vaccine was created, EVERYONE would take it, including people who don’t have herpes! It would become standard with all the other vaccines you get as a kid. How do I know all this? Because I'm a biologist. I study fish and wildlife, not people, but regardless, scientific research is how I make a living. I have dedicated the past 7 years of my life to biology, and will probably dedicate the rest of my life to it. If you want to buy into conspiracy theories and stop trusting the scientific community, go for it. But maybe think about where science has gotten us so far as a species. I sure like not worrying about polio, having two living parents that have beaten cancer, and learning more about the beautiful world around me in way as objective as I can.

You know, I honestly find the idea of big pharmacy ignoring herpes because they make money off treatment, not cure, is kind of silly. You could argue that about any currently uncured condition. The reality is that research and treatment/cure development takes a very long time and a ton of money, and there isn't enough money to go around for every illness. Why spend that money on what is primarily a cosmetic, is sometimes mildly painful skin condition (herpes) when you can focus on a virus or illness that is much more harmful and lethal (zika, HIV, etc). Honestly, while I wish there was less of a stigma around herpes, I'm glad that research money goes to more serious conditions. Progress in medicine is being made - a cure for hepatitis C was developed a few years ago and saved my uncle's (and many other) lives. Also, research is not necessarily linear - a medical treatment developed for another virus could potentially end up cure herpes.

@desertlove I haven't noticed any scent from it, but if there is one or if it has an ingredient that is irritating to you, dove makes an unscented baby powder that works as well. Just make sure to apply carefully or you'll get dusty white powder all over your pants!

Self acceptance is definitely a big part of life, not only with herpes but with all aspects of ourselves. I do want to tell you that with time, it gets better. I have a friend who I'm pretty sure knows I have herpes. He lived with my ex boyfriend who I disclosed to, who probably told him (pretty shitty of him I think, but I don't feel embarrassed). So my friend will make comments about herpes occasionally, more than I think would come up if he weren't hinting that he knew. When I originally found out, comments like this would have devastated me. I probably would have gone home and cried about it. But now, being more self accepting and confident, I respond in a way to try to get him to think about what he's saying instead of accepting defeat. I say things like "getting herpes only takes getting unlucky once" or "you know, I've had cold sores since I was a kid, its the same virus and really isn't a big deal." Generally it stops him in his tracks. I don't owe it to him to disclose, but I owe it to myself to not feel shitty about it or accept his shitty comments. And you know, its kind of a dumb thing for him to do, but otherwise he's a great friend. He has no idea what its like, and I hope he never does. But I'm not going to label him a terrible person because of it.

In my experience, bum rashes can either be part of an outbreak, or just monkey-butt that potentially makes me more susceptible to an outbreak. Either way, I have found that staying away from tight-fitting, sweaty outfits (skinny jeans, leggings, panty hose, non-cotton undies), going comando in pj pants when home, and a little bit of gold bond down there does the trick within a couple days.

The first step is for you to get tested. If you come back positive, the second step is for him to get tested. If he has it, there is no way of knowing who had it first, who gave it to who, or even if you both already had it before you started dating. Try not to play the "what if" game too much. Take step one, get your results, then worry about step two.

@bootox Genitals are kind of strange looking all the time. I occasionally get a little irritation on my labia from biking, chaffing from running, or wearing waders all day while fishing. Initially I freak out, but generally I give it a day and everything is back to normal, or I realize that what I was scared of was just part of my labia I hadn't really noticed before. And you are correct - we use condoms so he doesn't get HSV1 genitally from me. Have you been tested for both types of herpes? If you didn't test positive for HSV1, you are likely in the clear for giving your partner oral without protection. Don't give up on sex. Its way too much fun. It might take a little figuring out, but ultimately you will get back too it with someone who's compassionate and who is really into you!

That depends - do you have HSV orally? I do and I personally choose to tell people - especially because I have it genitally too and its a (somewhat) good indicator of how they will respond to finding out I have it genitally. It doesn't have to be a big thing though. Generally I just say "Do you mind that I get coldsores?" Or "Do you get soldsores? Does it bother you that I get them?" No one has ever turned me down for a kiss after me telling them.

@2legit2quit Skyn is the name of a brand of polyisoprene condoms. They aren't lambskin condoms - they are just non-latex. They prevent against STDs as well as latex condoms. The website is here http://www.skyncondoms.com/us/ @bootox my partner and I use condoms when I give him oral, but we don't use protection when he gives me oral sex. He is uncircumcised as well but to my knowledge doesn't have that same issue with condoms. Maybe try putting on the condom without pulling your foreskin back?

You know what? I grew up with coldsores - I'm sure I got them from my parents. I am a pretty happy, healthy adult. So continue to try and prevent your kid from getting it from you, but also remember his life will probably not be seriously affected by it if he does get it from you.

This is going to sound silly - but have you tried using different condoms? I am female, but past partners and I have tried different ones and some suck and feel terrible, and others aren't so bad. My current partner and I use skyn ones and really its not a big deal.

Take a bath (warm - not hot) once or twice a day with a cup of apple cider vinegar mixed in. It also helps to drink a cup of water with a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. In addition, look in to taking some probiotics. All of these things help me way more than monistat or even prescription drugs!

I have HSV1 orally and genitally as well, and personally I choose to tell people I get coldsores before I kiss them. However, it doesn't have to be a big, intense disclosure. Usually when I want to kiss someone, I just ask "Does it gross you out that I get coldsores?" or "Have you ever gotten a coldsore? If not, does it bother you that I have?" I have never had anyone tell me they didn't want to kiss me because of it.

Honestly - one peck on the lips, about 4 days after you think you contracted it? Especially when there is a really decent chance they already have it? I don't think I would worry too much about it. Maybe I have a different opinion because I have had it orally my whole life, but unless you intend some future make out sessions with this person, I wouldn't mention it.

Please don't freak out. Maybe he has it, maybe he doesn't. But assuming you aren't getting back together with him, does it really matter? Is it really any of your business? I wouldn't necessarily take his calmness as a sign that he has it. My partner was incredibly calm and collected when I told him, but mainly its because he's just a stoic person in general. You did the right thing and disclosed. He knew that he was taking a risk (albeit a very small one) when he slept with you. You have done nothing wrong - so please don't beat yourself up about this. It gets better - I promise you.