sw85

Hello! It's early days but iv been seeing a girl last few weeks, and I disclosed last night on WhatsApp. We spent a great Sunday together and planned to talk to her then but I didn't want to spoil the day. I'll admit a factor was being scared to do it in person, it's easier through a message, anyway the methods not important. After initially being super shocked and scared I had the answers, I could explain most things, and moments later she was saying OK we just need to be careful when we have sex. I was pretty shocked that was even before I explained about tablets I could take to reduce the risk. This will be the first time I'll have had sex since catching herpes 2 years ago and mentally iv battled with it ever since really. I'll do a full write up at some point particularly from male perspective as there's not so many stories for the guys. (there are some and they really helped me). In short become empowered do your homework, figure it out, and own it! I wanted to check about Suppressive therapy. I've got 200mg acyclovir, I've read that 400mg twice a day / 12 hours is the dosage. Also it takes a week for the drugs to build up to be more effective at reducing risk. Want to check my research, also iv got 200mg tablets. I can just take 2 tablets at the same time I. E. 2 x 200g =400mg twice a day? Or do I need to take a 200mg tablet every 6 hours? Thanks for any help... And perhaps this time next week I'll have had sex after a positive disclosure!

I neglected to update this post, sorry for that. I had clear results from everything else, which is a huge relief. Thanks for info about hva. This hasn't been on my mind for a while unfortunately larger things have taken over. I haven't had an outbreak for 7 months which is good, as ive had tough times recently and stress is meant to be a big trigger, I'm not sure what will trigger an outbreak as stress has been pretty high recently. Would be great for those UK people to have a chat too, about your experiences

Its more the possibility of someone I may know finding out seeing my profile and outing me so to speak. This I realise is utterly letting stigma control me, but am to scared.

Hi all, I wanted a bit of a sounding board about my situation. I discovered blisters on my penis 6 months ago when In Peru, I got visually diagnosed by a doctor and prescribed herpes medication which cleared it up. I've had 2 outbreaks very close together at the start but nothing since. I am now back in my home country the UK and just called my local GUM clinic to check about what tests they offer Herpes. I am keen to get blood tests as a tiny part of me has a tiny hope that I haven't got it even though there are many signs which indicate it is (im still working on acceptance) and also to know whether its HSV 1 or HSV 2. After explaining the situation to receptionist, and I wanted to know what type, she asked me why do I want to know? I was gob smacked by this questions, or more the tone she asked it, I explained knowing had different implications (from the research I have done, differences in able to receive oral sex and possible others I haven't researched yet). I then spoke to resident nurse who Ill meet tomorrow and had the same attitude. Unless I have an outbreak they can swab they cant test for it. I asked if any other lab could and he said one place does it but its not conclusive testing, and basically don't waste my money. But their attitude was almost kind of it doesn't really matter which it is, like it doesn't matter at all (I wish I thought like this) when I mentioned I want to know for when I disclose to future partners the type, to which he commented its your personal choice whether you tell someone or not we cant advice you either way. But one example he gave was if your in a relationship and want to have un protected sex, you should have that discussion with your partner before unprotected sex. WTF? This makes my mind boggle.... this is coming from a sexual health professional? Surely you would disclose before things got sexual with protection, and if you didn't, the outcome of this scenario is guaranteed right? that person walking away? I'm going to the clinic tomorrow to get a full test for STIs which I'm nervous about, I had bloods done for HIV and others 3 months ago and negative, but have read HIV has a 6 month window, and I have to some times stop my mind from racing away!! Will also meet with the nurse to discuss things more. I've read a few posts where the different tests give false results, is it worth opening this can of worms with the different test types? Am I too fixated about knowing the type? Does it matter? Thoughts please. Stu

Thank you so kuch for this detailed post, Your honesty, and ideas and ways to nave the talk are really insightful. Ive had it for 5 months, and only told close friends, and havent been able to imagine how I would go about doing this with a romantic partner. Very interesting about you not being the herpes doctor as you put it. I had always thpught of providing them the hopp hand outs with the intro and facts, but it sounds like you just explain that you got it, how, and relate it to cold sores being in a private area, and the rest of the research is up to them? ill be bookmarking this post, as wcsdancer said great to have male perspective.

You should think about disclosing to him soon I think, in the heat of the moment its hard to think straight, I had a clse call recently, we just made out, but I couldnt think straightinthe momentand wanted to go back to hers, but that didnt happen. But you should tell him, itsgoing to be difficult, but itll be the correct thing to do. Its likely he'll be upset and possibly angry, but you know what you have to do. Try to stay composed, explain how much youve enjoyed your time together, say that you were waiting for the correct time, and the other night your mind was foggy and didnt think straight. Have the facts ready, practice saying the words out loud even infront of a mirror or a close friend. Saying them outloud helps when it comes to the real moment. Feel free to message me, hope it goes as smooth as possible.

thanks for the comments, yes I guess its the same in whatever format the man chases the woman. That was my understanding that women get way more messages, and me having h has got to be an easy filter. I didn't set anything up in the end, my plans changed and I'm moving on to Australia. So didnt try any dating. . Ill try when im based back at home, but for the same reason as @vanessayee I wont be putting it in my profile for fear of people in my city finding out. Sad I know, Im buying into the stigma, but I can't help it, it's too scary. This whole situation is. I'm off to find a distraction its too upsetting. Thanks for your advice and responses

Thanks ladies, I hope for a positive experience too. Maybe I'll draft something and maybe you guys could proof it, maybe advise me on it? I've had a brief spell with online dating few years ago, and never had a message from women unless I initiated contact, as ladies do you look for guys and message them?

Hiey all, I was wondering if some of the brave ones that have come completely out could give me some wisdom. Im going to be based in a city for a few weeks, and am considering making an online profile stating I have herpes, and conducting a bit of a experiment really. I'm not sure Im brave enough to do it when Im back at home, but currently I don't know the locals, so its not a biggy if a few strangers see a photo and my status. But how do you drop that in on a profile? Im not talking about a specific STI dating website, I am probably going to use Plenty of Fish or OKCupid, a generic dating site. Obviously its not the first thing you put in your bio, or intro paragraph, so how have you done it? Much appreciated any ideas Stu

I'm really interested in this, does anyone have more info on techniques or ideas how to train these concepts?

Its easier said than done, but try and stay calm. If getting herpes has taught me one thing is that its way better to base your decisions and thought process' on facts, so wait for the final results. Are you about to be intimate with someome soon? If not then you dont need to worry about this right now.

Hi, Not on antivirals at the mo, I dont think im having an outbreak, no prodome sensation recently, currently no tingling or blisters where they usually appear on my penis, but lower on the shaft I have a patch of dry skin. Wondered if other people get this symptom? I do suffer from eczema on other parts of my body, hands and sometimes eyelids. Perhaps its a new area of eczema un related to herpes, interested to see if other people experience this also. Anyone got any recommendation or experience with prolonged spells of tiredness. Ive been getting regular 8 hours sleep last 4 nights or, but feel tired and lathergic. Thanks for the help chaps

Thats great help thanks. I should have also said im looking to redo, as all the paperwork was lost in the post, gutted what a waste of cash. in hindsight sending it from bolivia may have been a poor choice haha

Thanks for this guys. I have already applied once for a visa, I saw hiv was tested, but at the time on the bloods exam which was in spanish, I didnt even know what hsv was, so couldnt remember if it was on there or not. As part of the medical the dr did ask if I take any medication, prior to herpes I just said aspirin from time to time. Would the urine test pick up if I had recently taken herpes medication? I should say that I take herpes meds but would be worried it would affect the application.

Really sorry, I didnt think the original one posted, im using a tablet and sometimes its not clear when things are posted. Thanks for answer.