babs

How is everyone? Reread everything and feeling down today....it's amazing how resilient the mind and body are...

Hi Justanotherone- I too just read all of your words and I feel your pain! I am 28 years old and I contracted hsv 1 orally when I was 24. I know it's not the same as having it below the belt, I promise, I understand this...but my diagnosis has really changed my entire life...my inner being...who I use to be. I am afraid to do anything! I am constantly thinking about who I was before...and how one stupid kiss from a guy who was not worth my time has forever marked me a 'cold sore' sufferer. I use to love my lips. I am suffering here lately...and no I do not have a present OB, as we all know, that can trigger self-loathing for a few days...but I think I have read way to much. Knowing now that hsv1 is linked to so many other problems is really getting to my psyche. I am so scared of something like this...something so unknown...something forever...a virus lurking inside me. Are we going to be ok? FUCK yes we are. Do we really know the long-term effects of this virus? No. But what else are we to do? FIGHT. I mean we all face something right? No smooth sailing allowed!! I don't know. I really am not saying what I meant to say here...losing thoughts...so overwhelmed. I hate this. I hate the stigma. I hate the fear. I hate the feeling of being dirty - tho so irrational!! I know. I hate that I am not the virus free loving girl who liked to kiss anymore. All I did was kiss someone! I should count myself lucky...I was careless before...I was...It could have been worse. Hell should have been. I deserved it. I just need help coping I suppose. Anyways, ALL of your words speak to my heart. thank you... :)