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jordenellisson

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Everything posted by jordenellisson

  1. Hi there I have been in several long term relationships one 12 years one four years I also had another partner for two years during a break in the 12 year relationship. Those two both knew about th h never contracted it fr me and neither of us ever thought about it when we had unprotected srx which was evrtytime. Go for it relax u r not a mess of contagious ness 24 hours
  2. She probably already knows he's a cheater but since she has kept him this long she's prob not going anywhere in a hurry. The way I play it out in my head is u run over there and tell her, she will act all shocked grill u for info then pretty much yell at him then forget the whole thing in a few days and u just end up getting yourself more upset then u already r.
  3. Ok thanks dancer! I just want to protected him from what I've been through
  4. My one year old sons grandma his dads mom has hsv1 I'm worried every time she kisses the baby she may be shedding and might pass hsv1 onto my beautiful little boy. How do I politely tell her to not kiss him or is it nessessary that I do? In a side note I have hsv down below not sure if its hsv1 or 2 I had it when I was pregnant does this hive my son any immunity to hsv?
  5. I was 17 and felt utterly alone cause people in the age group will never disclose info like that but as I got older I found a lot of people r more open to talk about it. I'm 32 now
  6. I can understand your complete rage at this woman. And please dont take this the wrong way, just want to do a little damage control here for her sake...yes it was very awful and dishonest for her not to disclose, however that doesn't make her a villan out there to seek and destroy your genitals. Trust me this woman is hiding because she is absolutly mortified she even hasnt come to terms with the stigma herpes is bringing her.the most honest person may not disclose purly because they r so afraid and humiliated. I would believe her is she said she is on valtrex I know she didnt disclose to u but its not cause she's a lier its because she's terrified. Anyway pretty good chances u didn't catch it. Not only cause its way harder for men to get it but most likey u would of had an outbreak by now
  7. I've had h for 15 years I get about one maybe two outbreaks a years. Does anyone know if taking anti virals would eliminate theses outbreaks? I only ever took antivirals once or twice when I was newly diagnosed.
  8. I had a normal vaginal delivery. Baby born healthy and hsv free!
  9. I didn t read all the comments so excuse me if I am releating info here. But I don't wantcu to fret about not being able to ride horses. I've had this crap for 15 years but let me tell u the out breaks get much milder and very less frequent I probably get one outbreak a year. While yes they hurt its nothing like when I first caught it.
  10. Think of it this way suiside is a permanent solution for a temporary perception of your problem. Yes herpes can give loads of shame and make u feel very isolated. Especially if u r newly diagnosed. I can only speak from my own experiences I've had it for 15 years in the beginning I cried daily felt like life was over. Well time heals all I never cry over this anymore its just something I have to live with and to b honest I hardly ever think about it unlill recently and that is only cause I've decided to live SHAMELESSLY with this still not in some corner like worth nothing. I hope u to r able to start the process of changing your perception of your wounderful self. U do not deserve a death sentence over herpes!
  11. Dancer I watched your ted talks links. Wow my eyes r opening g up to just how much I've let shame control my own happiness it is a little gremlin that keeps me quiet and afraid. It has limited me and put me in a horrible relationship cause it made me believe that no one decent would want me. It made me believe that if I disclosed the man would say to himself aww and that's w she's single that's the hitch...great girl but she has herpes...no thanks. But in reality the right man is gonna say great girl poor thing is living with a shMeful secret that really she shoyld not have shame about. What a great girl for coming forward and being so willing and confident to b to vunrable. What a great woman to have in my life. I realize now if he can't c past this stupid std he can't c me and I don't want him. Thanks for the links I have a lot of soul searching yo do. Thanks for educating me and help opening my eyes to a whole other perspective
  12. Hugs dancer.thanks for sharing. I never considered family time after the breakup. That is a really good idea. In my experience drug users rarely if never stop. Mine only does for a while then he relapes takes his anger out in me the cycle continues. I do need an exit plan and I have a few options I can turn to. So I'm just working up the courage to do so. I love my son more then anything and I feel like I let him down every time I let him back. So I will use my son as my motivator. I'm gonna check out your links now. Thanks again for all your encouragement good advice and kind words. Hugs!
  13. U r all so amazing wow thank u for the words of encouragement. Seeker its alright u just didn't know where I was at. Dancer u made me laugh "I don't usually tell people what to do but GET OUT lol so candid and such very good advice. Trust me everything u all have said goes through my mind daily. I will b starting to work with a therapist to build myself esteem up enough to leave. Oh and dancer like I said before u must have a crystal ball u r right I did get into this relationship at an all time low for me. U r such an educated smart intuitive lady and I am so happy to have been lucjey enough to b getting advice fr u. Willow yes my son is one I always thought it would make it easier to go when he is young but I think its just as hard at any age...ewww I'm not saying I'm right for staying u r all right its just so damn hard. FLnew yes I agree it sure is hard to b strong but I must as well as for your ex maybe he is the one who gave it to u? It sounds pretty suspect at any rate sounds like we both have /had a couple of real winners for husbands lol. So u asked w I went back...its b/c of my son its so hard to explain but I want my son to have his dad in his life so bad I want my family...but I most certainly don't want abuse...I said he gasent been violent yet cause I know he can't be trusted...hard to explain but when u r getting abused and living in a war zone its hard to think rationally...ewww hard to explain w I stay...but I do. I whole heartly agree with u all about leaving. Oh and seeker I know u r a good guy no hard feelings ok! Hugs!
  14. Ladies I thank u so much for these kind words. I to am all about disclosing but at first I made the mistake of not telling him and not long after the abuse began and my thoughts ran to where yours all r aswell. I guess I came here cause he's the people pleaser in me was saying do the right thing cause he hasn't hit u in a month...wahooo we all know his behavior will repeat...trust me I am building myself up to leave him. I'm just not there yet...and yes I do not want my son to learn his behaviors or feel guilty b/c of them. I know in no other situation non disclosure is acceptable but I've been struggling with this one and it does feel a bit better that others to think me leaving the relationship is a better way to deal with this at this point. Yeah it was tough not feeling attatacked but I didn't say the whole story either. Well feeling loved thanks for your thoughts!
  15. Dancer I will come back with my thoughts as soon as I can watch these. Thanks for saying we will work through this..that gives me hope. I truly believe this will help me disclose to the right man if he ever comes along lol...but first things first right...
  16. Inka first thank u for your opinions. I have hsv2 no he does not get cold sores and he is std free. I also am as I was tested for everything when I was pregnant.besides h. Its funny that u to can see my relationship is a joke and also question the point in disclosing. He has been emotional and physically abusive in the past. I have left many times each time he swears he will change so jetr we go again. This time round there has been no physical abuse yet...whew that was hard for me to publically admit. But after dancer pretty much nailed it on a previous post I guess its that obvious... So anyway this has been a big part in my non disclosure...I have thought many times how I would explain myself but to b honest I to keep asking myself if maybe herpes is the last thing that I should wry about. I just feel like a real asshole I feel as bad as he acts. daisysand dancer. First thank u for ur thoughts! I will check these links later today. Yes my son is number one and yes therapy is probably a great place to go also! Upon reading everyone's thoughts on my awful relationship it has again made me confront the fact I should leave this man. Just hard when my baby loves him so...anyway this is a herpes forum and I can work that out in therapy... I'm very thankful for your insights as I was thinking the same things but just felt like a horrible person... I swear I'm not a narsist as accused previously (which by the way made me feel so very bad about myself lol) I just made a very immature stupid decision and now iv gotta own up or do something...thanks again ladies hugs
  17. How on this earth do I go about disclosing to my bf of four years that I have a one year old baby with that hey, BTW I have herpes...I never meant for it to get like this. We have had such a rocky relationship and i have never felt safe in disclosing to him. For all who are maybe haters out there that r just foaming at the bit to attack me on this I just want to be very very clear I do not condone non disclosure. No I do not think its right to take someone's choice no I'm not ok with my lie etc etc. please know I am humiliated by this disease and I am terrified of disclosing. I think about it constantly and I just can't get this out. I'm worried he will become enraged and tell everyone we know including family members. I'm worried he will relapse on drugs as this is a struggle for him. I'm worried every time we fight he will bring it up and humiliate me. I know he ain't going no where I know he would not leave but I'm worried this will b used as amo in any fights we may have. Or maybe he will leave which scares me far less then this being spread around or thrown in my face...oh gawd dare I post this dare I ask for advice on how at this point to disclose? It truley my one huge reason for joining this forum
  18. I had hsv while I was pregnant. As I only had one ob at the beginning of my pregnancy my Dr did not have much concern. She said during the last month i could b placed on antivirals but as I did not have anymore obs I was not put on anything. I had my baby and h was not a concern. When he was born they placed some cream in his eyes to ensure he was safe and that was it. My baby came out perfect no problems!
  19. Yes I saw that after and I checked out your blog thanks
  20. I've seen a lot of people talk about drying up the sores. Does not this really work! I've always just suffered it out I had no idea u could dry them out. How fast does this work and does it speed up the helping time? What do u all reccomend?!
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