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rainyfeather

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Everything posted by rainyfeather

  1. Was in a 3 year relationship used condoms once, I'm on daily suppressant and she is still free from it.
  2. It really does seem to be a roll of the dice, my ex and I were together almost 4 years and never had protected sex. I use valtrex daily and made sure to monitor my self. Fortunately she never contracted anything in all that time.
  3. Use it every day since I found out a few years back and I can't remember my last ob.
  4. He's just a jerk who lashed out at your one vulnerable place he knew would be the most painful. He got caught and instead of accepting his role in his infidelity he tried changing the subject the only way he knew how. Stay strong.
  5. Great to hear, so many of us have been in those shoes before. Glad it worked out.
  6. To chime in, I would say just relax as well. You let your partner know and now that's it. You explained everything and gave all the information you could. Anything after this is how it will be no matter what. After my very recent and first disclosure to a partner, I really have not given it much thought. Stay strong and I am sure that it will all work out. If your partner uses this as an excuse to leave after you have been together for a while, then it is nothing but an easy scapegoat for them and if not for this it would have been something else. So sit back and search for happiness instead of misery. Life is better that way.
  7. @Beachdude1984 as hard as it was to tell her, I couldn't imagine the feeling of being turned down. I sure am glad for this forum.
  8. I think you are correct on the percentages there dancer. I guess it could go either way would be a more accurate assessment instead of the percentages
  9. Thanks dancer. I really did paraphrase so much durung the talk it was like I had this site in book format with pages dog eared. I think she really understood how hard it was for me to say out loud because I let her know I read both sides of other disclosures and it truly is a 50/50 chance of stay or go and that's the harsh reality of it. But worth the risk of honesty.
  10. Thank you Fairisle! Glad I could put my experience out there and return a little of what so many others have shared with me. Knowledge really is the key to an better disclosure.
  11. Maybe you should start one? This site was not always here. You could turn this into something posative for others in your country who are feeling the same as you now.
  12. Success! Guess we can move this to the happy ending category. I stayed calm this whole time leading up to the visit and discussion. Read tons of posts and got my talking points in order in my mind. Used examples of some of the storie's here, such as @wcsdancer2010 times being married and not passing it on, having kids and so on. I let her know how I felt about her and as soon as I started feeling like I was going down a feel sorry for me rout I changed it to what it is, a part of me not me. I think she really appreciated it when I let her know I would rather loose her then have her knowing what my circumstances are and her not been given the opportunity to say if she wanted to roll the dice on the 2% chance of getting H. Honestly I finally know the stress and difficulty that I thought I understood while reading other people's stories. But like combat nothing can prepare you for the moment except experiencein it. The good thing is that the training from all the videos here as well as everyone sharing their personal experiences really prepared me for this moment. In the end she said lots of people have it, and I then rattled off the percentages for her and told her to let me guide her to websites that will give her a better understanding if she wanted. Not freaking out and just giving a here it is take it or leave it explanation is the best way to go about disclosure. Because really that's what it came down to. Not saying I was Joe Cool the whole time by no means, I just remembered think bad it will be, think posative and it will be...everything the experts said from the get go. THANK YOU ALL!
  13. http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html
  14. @e9507 the with condom use stats are in consideration that the partner is not having an outbreak as well. From what I understand during an outbreak even using a condom is like a firefighter going into a burning house with protective gear on.
  15. @lasko, I take one Valtrex pill everyday, and have been doing so for around 2 years now. I really can't remember the last time I had a full blown outbreak. So for me it really seems to put the H in submission or dormancy.
  16. This is really great news to hear, and so happy that he was so understanding about everything. The release of all your pent up feelings must have been like dropping a heavy bag from your shoulder, the kind that makes you feel like you might float away because the burden has been released. Once again I am really happy for this news.
  17. Thanks all, I have been reading many of the posts as well as videos, I watched the one with the Dr. that discusses (with a bare foot Adrial) all about what H truly is 2x now. It is comforting to see on posts what many of us have had in our head for a while now, and it makes one realize there really is no reason to be alone. I agree I need to do it in person, so I'll book my flight and see how it goes. In the meantime I am definitely going to be continuously reading and educating my self about this virus as well as how to best approach people with it. It truly does look like it gets easier with each confession...like letting air out of a balloon I would imagine.
  18. WOW! hope29 that therapist comment how she judged you had my jaw hit the desk and eyes bug out. Sorry you had to endure that. I'm still kind of in shock and I just read it. Hope that each day gets a little brighter for you.
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