redroses

@thisislife I was just diagnosed with type 1 & 2. My partner tested negative for type 2. I explained it all to him and he researched it on his own. His choice was to continue our sex life as we always had- no protection. I had difficulty accepting this because the last thing I want is to put him at risk. I had a lot of support from this site and came to realize that I am not his mother and he is smart enough and strong enough of a man to make his own decisions. I have never had an outbreak. After doing my own research, I found out that 50% of the time a score of less than 3.5 could give a false positive. I hope that is my case and I am going for additional testing to confirm whether or not I have it. I am leaning toward doubting that I do because I was married twice and I don't think either of my husband's had it-they never had an OB either. Mine was found in a routine test by my OBGYN so it was a shock to me. I am not on anti-virals because I am going for more tests and it could affect the results. I had to quiet my mind, get past this condition, learn to accept it and continue with my life. I'm trying to live more in the present and not worry about the future. Hope my experience helps.

Just to let you know, I was successful in shutting down my brain last night and receptive to a warm, loving evening. Glad that's behind me.

@WCSDancer2010 I am forever posting that on my facebook page. Now, I can only live it every day. I have gotten better, but not far enough.

Thanks for sharing this. I needed to hear these words: "I pray that anyone who has herpes does not allow the stigma to dictate their happiness." Struggling with this right now.

@whitedaisies : you are soooooo right- "You can't control this and that's why you are struggling."

I'm trying to control my anxiety. But it's hard- I'm a control freak & think im everyones mother. I know I need to back off & let him be the strong, smart man he is. As he always says, " you can be so mean to yourself." The thought is in the back of my head, whst of he gets it 6 months or a year from now? Will he be angry at me? Will he be able to accept it- that it was his decision to continue as we always did. I'm alwsys projecting & I have to stop it. Can't wait to get my other blood work back tomorrow- maybe l'll feel better if its negative. If not, it's on to the western blot & more waiting. Thanks for all your positive thoughts and good advice.

@forgivenessandpeace, I would feel terrible if I gave this to him.

@wcsdancer2010, I think my Drs were just the opposite. They made it sound like a really big deal. I felt I was doomed. I think that's why I'm reluctant to go to bed with him. I'm so afraid l'll give it to him. I guess what bothers me the most is that 2 of them both said, "oh your partner has it too, for sure." And he doesn't. I mailed my Drs the information & told them about this site as you suggested.

I have the valtrex prescription, but Westover didn't want me to use now. Not sure why- maybe it would affect the test results on the blot???? I still have no symptoms. Went to OBGYN last week and she said my anxiety is taking over- she saw nothing. The other day, I went to Quest for another blood test. I should have the results by Tuesday at the latest. This is a different lab than the first test. I was reading that results vary from lab to lab and since I've had problems with lab results from the first lab before for different things, I thought it wouldn't hurt to have the test redone.

@victoriaxxx, I was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago and it has been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. For me the downs were lasting longer than the ups. First off, I just got a job too. I thought my life was finally coming together because I also have a wonderful man in my life and although the relationship was rocky at first, we worked through things and now are on solid ground. We've been together for a year and a half. Then Bam! the diagnosis. He got tested too and we heard this week that he's negative. That was a HUGE blow to me and I am having difficulty getting past that. He said it doesn't matter and things between us will not change. I guess it's my own insecurities that are popping up because that's how it was when we first starting dating. All the problems I thought we had were really my problems. I had a troubled childhood- came from a very dysfunctional, violent, untrustworthy family. Even though he tried to reassure me that things would not change I was very depressed this week. Then I saw what it was doing to our relationship, so I tried things to make me feel better- especially in front of him. I cried a lot when I was alone and even in front of him. He's my best friend and the only one who knows that I'm type 2 positive. I'm hoping it's a false positive because my number was low, but this waiting for more tests is very upsetting and unnerving. I do have valium, but I try to take it as infrequently as I can to take the edge off. This week It's been dark and dreary out. I felt I reached a new low. So I tried putting on all the lights on in the house and lit some nice smelling candles. Then I had a glass of wine. It worked wonders for me. Not that I wasn't depressed anymore, but it did relax me and lift my spirit a bit when he came over for dinner. Then I just passed out in the recliner. Too much stress for me and my body needed to relax. Today, even though it was cold and windy, I took a ride to Montauk (I live in N Y and in case you're not familar with the area, Montauk is the end of Long Island. I just drove there, did some shopping, and drove back. I thought I would be exhausted, but instead I was energized and had one of the best days so far. I start my new job Monday and I'm hoping that will help take my mind off things. My suggestion is to find something that makes you happy or that you enjoy. It may be something as simple as leaving the lights on or burning a nice candle. Whatever you think will help lift your spirits. There's always this site for you to post when you need support. But I think the most important thing to remember is to listen to your body; if you need to veg out, just do it and take care of yourself. Take each day as it comes.

For those of you who read my other posts, you know that I was positive for type 1 and 2, but my partner was negative for type 2. My number was low so I was told that there's a chance of it being a false positive. I have to go out of state for the blot test, so that won't happen immediatley as it needs to be arranged by Westover. Today I went to another lab for another test. I'll have the results in a few days. My partner said it doesn't make a difference to him. Although he read up on all this and was initially a little concerned, as the days went by he became more comfortable with it, I think. We've been together for a year and a half and he said we've been very sexually active all that time and he didn't get it. He wants to continue to have sex as we've always done, but I'm afraid to and don't want to put him at risk. My Dr gave me the prescription for Valtrx, but Westover doesn't want me to take it until I'm tested again. I've never had signs of an OB and don't have a clue as to where I got this from. I was in a long term marriage and my boyfriend is the first man I've had a sexual relationship with since my husband passed away. All I can think of is this may be from my younger single days, if it is indeed positive. Any suggestions on handling this?

@Anonemess, please don't sell yourself short. I have just realized what I truely wonderful man I have in my life for the past year and a half. I just found out I tested positive for type 1 and 2; he was tested and we just found out that he's negative for type 2. We had a long talk about all this and his attitude is we'll stay together. He made it clear that he's not going anywhere. Since my score was low, there's a chance I might have a false positive and I want to be re-tested with the blot test to be sure. He said he doesn't see the reason; nothing will change between us. Let's just get on with our life together. Plus this man was with me when I got my breast cancer diagnosis a few months back. He's really been my rock, although I didn't realize how much until now. I don't think there's anything special about me; except I'm me and that's one-of-a-kind. We're all special in our own way; sometimes it just takes someone else to see it and love us for it. There are good men out there. You'll find the one perfect for you.

@Yadira , how long have you been together? Just curious because you said you don't use condoms anymore. I'm positive for type 2 and my partner isn't. We just got his results today and I got mine last week. Also, what do you mean "let your body build up antibodies"? I thought if we tested positive it meant we have antibodies because we have the virus.

Westover Heights is arranging it with a Quest lab. Haven't heard back from them yet. Did you have that test?

My boyfriend just called- he's positive for type 1 and negative for type 2. Guess I'm going to NJ for additional testing. This is really upsetting, but that's life. Got to learn to roll with the punches. I'll know if he's had a change of heart now.