Hi, i was about your age when i first got my diagnosis so i know how you are feeling. I would first tell you that the information book that Adrial put together and the fact sheet is very helpful when you want to disclose. Also, the posts about disclosing i found are very helpful.
In my opinion, the first couple years is not easy in understanding the way this virus and your body works. Your OB's will be a little more frequent now and unpredictable because you need to recognize the symptoms. Sometimes a jolt of pain or itchiness is just that. Usually, for me when i have an OB in the genital area i feel tingling and numbness.. the area feels kinda heavy to begin with.
Yes, you now have herpes, but it is totally manageable and DO NOT be so hard on yourself. Unfortunately there is no rewind / erase button but with time, acceptance and patience you will be able to move forward. I promise :)