oyvey

Hi everyone, thank you all for sharing and being a support for each other on here. I think this a beautiful forum and community and I am excited to be a part of it. So here is my story: Recently I tested positive for HSV-1, through blood work. I have no idea if it is oral or genital or both. I was tested after 8 months of celibacy so I know it is my accurate status. Last year was filled with casual and not always fully protected sex, trying to get over someone ... and many previous years of ignorant but blissful oral sex (thought you couldn't get it that way), so it is highly possible I got it genitally. But I also grew up in a household where my mom & brother had facial outbreaks, and I found out my aunt has them too. My sister just tested HSV-1 positive (which her doc called "oral" but who knows?) and the list goes on and on!!! I know that it is harder to get a genital HSV-1 infection when you already have antibodies to the oral infection. I had one experience that I feel like a complete and total idiot for — my ex-boyfriend, who had been "tested" had a scab on his you-know-what, then an indent in that same general area, then a new scab in that general area maybe a week or two later. I can't remember the details because at the time I seriously thought it was nothing (he didn't notice it until I mentioned it). I thought it was a cut from his fingernail ... from masturbating too roughly without lube. And I think I used a condom anyhow since we did most of the time. But I learned months later some things that disturb me: almost any symptom could be herpes: a tiny cut, an abrasion of any sort. And the second scab might have been a "recurrence." And even if he was "tested" for herpes, when we're dealing with HSV-1, he probably had no idea that it could be genital. I hadn't been tested for herpes myself, so I have no idea if I potentially contributed to or have been impacted by this experience. I went to my gyno. She said she doesn't ever test for herpes because having antibodies only means that you are a carrier for the virus but not that you are going to ever have an outbreak. I accepted her reasoning the first time but the second time when they fought me on it, assuming "You're gonna go crazy because the results are hard to interpret," I said, "But I know you can spread it even when you are asymptomatic so how is that responsible?" and they backed off. It was truly horrifying for me that I had to INSIST on this test and that my gyno, knowing I was recently promiscuous, never told me I was at risk for it, even when I expressed concern about HPV. But how is that legal AND as far as the positioning from the CDC is concerned, not being a stand for routine screening, why does it feel like pharmaceutical companies might have an unfair influence in this arena? But yeah, I'm still a little funky on how to disclose my particularly ambiguous situation, so I would appreciate a little guidance on it. I want to be ethical about it, and explain the possible genital infection, but I feel like sharing the scab story would be a total turnoff. Is there any way to be in integrity without analyzing and interpreting the gory details with my partner? Seems like there isn't. And the cultural double standard is annoying, isn't it? I can give it to someone through oral sex if it's just on my mouth, but culturally speaking nobody ever needs to "discuss that." But because people never discuss it, nobody ever knows. Some people have to be the voice of reason, and now that I know the truth, I can't turn back. HSV-1 counts, and now I'm reading that it is counting for 50% of all new genital infections: http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/28/can-oral-sex-spread-herpes/ Thanks for listening, guys. Best of luck to all of you on your journey, feel free to ask me any questions. Happy new year and thanks in advance for your advice.