vanessayee

Wow!

That sounds just like what I had! Gets graphic yes but I too had a yeast infection as well and the tops would rip off :S

This is the same as me! Both got tested and had a safety talk but was unlucky and didn't know they don't test for it!!! He was asymptomatic, how was I suppose to know!?

This is beautifully written and you made some fantastic points that I really find to be true to help. Thankfully I have been doing most of these things. You're right this is just a part of life and everyone out there is at least dealing with some sort of disease.

Nice Job! So cool, it's a yes. How long was it before you disclosed? I disclosed once on the first night but it was too soon

WOW! What a great story!! Have fun girl!!!

@jessicarabbit89 Thank you for this post, it is a positive one and I have not read a positive post in a long time and it has made me feel better. I love that that guy still kissed you and made a joke about it. Sounds like there are still some good men out there who can be mature about this. Love your attitude and how you keep moving fwd. I need to start dating and disclosing and showing what I have to offer. :)

Hey thanks for the positive outlook. It was a good read and so true that it could be so much worse. Life throws us curveballs and compared to other problems this one is ain't a big deal

@WCSDancer2010. Thank you:)))

Hi there, someone I talked to yesterday said they have hsv1 orally and she told me that Lysine really works for her. I'm not sure which type, I think just regular Lysine. I use Super Lysine I got from a food health store or you can get it online, I use it for my GHSV2. Thank you for sharing your story and we are all here for you.

Omg that's wonderful, so will you guys be getting back together? That's very nice when someone reaches out to apologize esp the giver who realizes it. I'm glad peace is being made in your situation. :) Also seeing Hsv as a lifesaver is a nice perspective to take on. Who knows, maybe moving fwd you guys will pursue something serious together. Great post

Someone was telling me that they researched that the shingles/chicken pox vaccine might do the job to cure HSV. I don't know though and might ask my doctor what she thinks of that... If that were the case, I'd be pretty interested in getting that...

I have been on okcupid and just disclosed when private messaging to some guys after talking to them for a while, but I haven't put in up front on my profile, I was thinking if I should do that though. Haven't been brave enough to put it on my profile since I don't want ppl in my city who know me to find out, but I kinda like the idea because it would save time. I disclosed to 2 guys when it was relatively early but not too late but so far after I disclosed to them on there, I never heard back from them again. One guy said it was scary and didn't know enough about it and didn't bother to want to know more about it and then we stopped talking. Anyways, sometimes I throw a "like" on someones profile if I'm interested in them and then that guy usually messages me first. Usually I don't have to though and I'd get msgs initiated from guys, but I haven't had lasting success on there so far. Sometimes these sites have something where it shows who likes who and who is a match with who or you will see who has been checking out your profile then from there it should be easy to msg them. I think on some of these sites there might even be an std column that you can check or uncheck as well. I didn't see it on ok cupid, but I've heard somewhere that some generic dating sites have that option

I've had this for 2 years and still I am trying to adjust to it.

Hi, I'm a 26 year old female with hsv2 and since having this my social life has greatly changed. I just want to be alone most of the time and I hate talking about myself with others. I love my job right now but that seems to be all I'd ever talk about and even that's tiring to talk about because I want to socialize about other things besides work when I'm away from work. I only feel like socializing if it is in a setting where there is another activity or hobby involved so I can talk about that activity most of the time, something that takes the attention away from myself. That's when I feel free, but it feels impersonal still because ppl don't really get to know me as I'd rather just talk about that thing instead of myself. I also shut down when it comes to talking about our love lives, I will try to not say anything that would open the door to someone asking about my love life because it is pretty non-existing right now or just full of dates that didn't work out so I just don't want to get in to it and I act completely Vanilla and uninterested to talk about dating, guys and relationships. It makes girls night out difficult cuz I cannot relate to other girls anymore so I avoid going out on girls nights now. It makes me really uncomfortable. It sucks cuz all I mostly do is have small talk with others cuz that is all I can handle right now but it feels so unfulfilling and trivial. I like having deep meaningful conversations and I feel like I can't get in to that unless I mention I have H in the process cuz it has honestly shaped me differently now and affected almost every part of my life which is bad but it has. I try to talk generally so no one will figure out my secret but it just feels unfulfilling. I really enjoy being able to talk about anything with my friends and my most fulfilling relationships are the ones where I've told those friends, but I don't want to tell everyone. Therefore, I am not very fulfilled or interested in my other relationships cuz I can't talk openly and about life with them so I just have very few friends right now and a bunch of aquaintences. I mostly filter out many things too when talking to ppl now and it sucks that I can't just be open or socially free. Does anyone else struggle with this? If ppl do ask me if I'm dating right now I just make up an excuse like "Oh no, I'm just focusing on myself right now", but honestly I am interested and wanting to find someone and how long am I going to keep saying that excuse? It's hard to talk about details about why your previous dates didn't work out when you don't want to reveal why dating is so difficult for you. So how does everyone deal socially with this? I really miss having girl talk or talking about love and relationships and to some extent I still can, but it's very restricted now and I don't share much cuz I can't relate as much.

Thanks! @WCSDancer2010

@ihaveittoo1975 Oh awesome if you can get the Super Lysine for less online at Amazon. I found mine in a health supplement store. Should I enter a committed relationship I too would get Valtrex as that would be the best peace of mind for me. At the moment when not in a relationship I prefer not to be on meds (plus I can't always afford it either) and will just take the natural lysine supplement or just let it run it's course. But If I'm having a bad breakout and just want it to subside sooner for the sake of comfort, I have gone to get the antivirals like Acyclovir or Vacyclovir whatever they call it now which is similar to Valtrex. So @kate33, you don't always have to take Valtrex, you can let it run it's course on it's own or try natural things that help it on it's own then when in a serious relationship you can use the Valtrex. But if you like using Valtrex all the time for peace of mind to minimize outbreaks then do what works for you. :)

I personally like taking something called "Super Lysine" (not just ordinary lysine) and it's the one where the back of the bottle also says it's good for cold sores, you can google it. It has a turquoise lid. Mine comes with 180 tablets for around $30-40 and they taste garlicy and I really feel they help. They are not perfect though as some outbreaks have still come back but I felt there were many amazing clear days when I took this. I would take it once a day and they are a lot cheaper than the antivirals like acyclovir and Valtrex which is very expensive if one doesn't have insurance like me and this Lysine comes with a lot of tablets. Some ppl find that Lysine does nothing for them, others find it helps. But it's effectiveness might depend on what stage someone is at in your diagnosis too. I started taking them on year 2 and the longer someone has had H then the less frequent the outbreaks should be anyways. I'm not sure if they would have helped me a ton when I was on my first year when the outbreaks were more strong and frequent.

Hello Kasbeen1818, your story sounds quite familiar to mine though I was diagnosed right on Remembrance Day which is Ironic because when that day comes and the rest of the world is mourning, I too have reason to mourn. I was just 24 and I as well had an extreme reaction 1 week after sex with a guy I was seeing for months monogamously. A nurse told me that if you have an extreme reaction a few days after then it is most likely that you got it from that last person you slept with and that your body was not exposed to the virus before so your body is having a strong reaction now and that the incubation period is about 7-10 days for a reaction to occur. So I too knew it was him that I got it from, some ppl may have it appear years later but will only have a smaller breakout. Unfortunately while I made sure we got tested before no condoms that night, I didn't know that they didn't test for Herpes and I didn't know that it's not included in the standard sti tests even unless you ask for it. Good thing he didn't turn the tables on me, instead he cried when I told him he gave it to me and he said he did not know and he was asymptomatic as well, so this virus likes to hide. He was only my 4th sexual partner I had when I got it and the first one I didn't use a condom with, so it was even more clear who I had got it from. It will be hard to pee and sleep with during this time of the first outbreak which might take 3 weeks to completely heal over. During those first hard days I got my hands on Acycolvir medication which gave me more peace of mind (taken 3 times a day) and the outbreaks started to go down as well. Even though my area was still raw from the first outbreak, believe it or not I still went to work when I had to! So if I can make it through, you can too! The first year will be the hardest as I had frequent outbreaks still, but I wasn't on meds so it might have been less if I was taking something to help the first year go by. I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to talk to anyone initially so that's when turning to online forums like this is great. At this point I've only told a few good friends that I trust and who have been very supportive and leant me good advice, helped me put life in perspective and always cheer me up when I get down about it =) Your story just really reminded me of all the feelings I was going through at that age too. I am going on 2 years with this now. You will get through this initial shock. Stay Strong =)

It could be something called Molluscum. A male friend of mine had it but I think it goes away and is not forever although it can be spread through skin to skin contact when present. I had never heard of it before until my friend said he had it. You should look it up.

Awesome thank you! It would be great if the world would become more accepting of it someday because it is quite common. We need to first start with ourselves and not feed in to the stigma of it.

Such a great thread, thanks everyone for your posts and I really enjoyed reading yours @sickoflifelessons. I'm so afraid to tell potential mates because I feel it will alienate them from me or if I told family but if it really is so common that maybe it won't alienate everyone. Just by the way ppl talk it seems like they are all clean and have normal dating lives or maybe they just don't know that they too might have it. I have told this to some close friends though and they are still supportive and in my life so I am grateful for them. It is Just hard to disclose to potential mates now. I know they are going to even go around asking their friends for opinions of what they should do and if they should be with a girl like me who has Herpes and I don't want them to even do that.

It's been 2 years for me too and I just don't want to have to tell anybody so I just don't bother to date anymore at this point. I just keep to myself so I can stay out of trouble and not have to worry about giving this to someone. I've tried the sti dating sites but I've had bad experiences on there and meeting the person that turned out nothing like they were online or on skype and it was always disappointing. To meet a decent person on there I might have to pay the monthly fee to find someone good.

@RookieBex In my situation I have felt like it was a lose lose too but it is now teaching me more independence for sure and is opportunity to get my life, career, finances, hobbies and living situation together. Thank you for sharing, you expressed and wrote that very well. It is very frustrating that little was taught to us about how to prevent herpes and that no one told us that it wasn't tested for yet it can be spread without symptoms. I could have always wore a condom with my partner but after a while you just don't and we even both got tested before no condom yet he had it and it wasn't tested for so he didn't know. It angers me too that this is why it keeps on spreading to others and everyone is ignorant about it. I too am very grateful for this site and the awesome ppl here like Adrial who I look up to!

This isn't your fault or anyone's fault. I too was uninformed that they do not test for H in the regular sti screening which is where my downfall came because before having unprotected sex with my partner I made sure we got tested and his came back all clear but he actually had it the whole time and was a symptomatic and showed no signs. As for me I had a violent reaction 1 week later which is a sign that I never was exposed to it before and had got it from him. Sigh for a long time I blamed myself for getting this but I gotta remind myself to be gentle and kind on myself because it is a sneaky virus and they don't even test for it so it's not entirely my fault. I was uninformed and didn't know one had to ask for H testing so my partner thought he got tested for everything too. Society judges but they don't realize how easy and misleading it is to catch. Merry Christmas and you are not alone. :)