superwoman

Hi there, I'm not an expert at this because I'm pretty newly diagnosed (this past November), but I have shaved in that area and accidentally knicked myself twice doing it, and fortunately this did not result in an outbreak for me. So I bet you'll be fine. We can be really great at making ourselves crazy with the paranoia though - hang in there!

Sugarplumfairy, Two of your comments really hit home for me too: "You can lead a man to an std but you can't make him get tested" and "thank you to hsv for weeding out the jackasses faster than my woman's intuition ever could". These are bits of wisdom that I will remember when the going gets tough, those pesky down days :) Thank you for the comments - much appreciated!

I was officially diagnosed with HSV1 on Nov.7. I disclosed to someone I cared about for the first time last Friday. And this is what I learned... 1. Actually saying the words HSV and episode is a lot easier than saying Herpes and outbreak. Using these words made it easier to actually tell him. Thank you to this site for teaching me those tools. 2. After I told him, he did not run away screaming. 3. When telling someone that you have Herpes, you should not be in the middle of a passionate make-out session. No one is thinking straight. I did this, and what happened next was sex (with a condom). 4. Do not expect that when telling someone you have Herpes in the middle of a passionate make-out session and then having sex, that they will be all okay with it afterward. Remember, when hormones are dictating actions, people are not thinking clearly to make any decisions. 5. Do expect that he will go home and immediately research the Herpes on the Internet. He (or she) will see the bad info and the rare horror stories first if no direction is provided. It's best to provide them some sites to go to in the beginning. This would have helped all of us after we learned of our diagnosis; it's just as smart and kind to provide that for our potential partners. 6. Avoid expressing all of your own fears with the diagnosis when you disclose. Your partner will have their own fears and questions; the focus is on helping them understand your diagnosis - not to unload on them right away. There will be plenty of time for that as you build your relationship. 7. Do not feel shame, guilt, or less self-worth due to the Herpes when you disclose. We are not less of a person. We are better, stronger people because we had the strength to disclose to our partner, just as we wish our H-givers would have done for us. This makes us incredible, caring, and strong people. 8. If he decides he doesn't want to continue in a relationship with you due to the Herpes factor, such as in my case, then realize that there is someone else out there with everything you still want in a partner, and on top of that, that person that accepts all of you will have the understanding that Herpes doesn't define you, and that really, it can be a minor factor in the relationship. This person will be outstanding, and Herpes does not mean you have to settle for less. 9. If your potential partner does bow out after you disclose, such as mine did, don't be angry at yourself or tell yourself to get over it because you hurt. Give yourself permission to hurt and be sad, and then walk through it with the knowledge that you will come out the other side okay. And you'll try again. And there is my good, bad, and really, it wasn't so ugly. And I'll try again.

I had some flu like symptoms a couple months before my first full outbreak. However, looking back, I also had a small sore that my doctor originally dismissed as an ingrown hair. I wonder now, looking back, if that was in fact a herpes sore. And then I had the flu like symptoms again with the full outbreak.

Thank you for the quick response...my outbreak occurred in genital region (vagina), so it seems I have genital herpes. I'll definitely look at those links above - thanks...

I'm newly diagnosed with genital Herpes and am still learning what I can and can't do. There is someone that I started spending time with just before I was diagnosed and we are still going out on dates, although I haven't disclosed yet. Things are going very slowly (thank god), and we've only just had our first kiss. That's one thing Herpes will definitely do for ya - slow things down.. Anyway, if we do become more intimate and/or I do eventually disclose, if things continue to go well, I want to be knowledgeable about this STD I now have. So some basic questions that I keep getting contradictory answers for when I look online (and my doctor seems pretty wishy-washy about): If he fingers me, can I pass it onto him? Is this something he could get on his fingers and/or spread to other areas of his body? If I give him a blow job, can I pass it onto him? And I assume kissing is safe, correct?... I know a condom is a must, but I've read that some of you decided to go with no condom but medication daily...either way, I know there is still a chance I could pass it onto him. Is either method a lower risk? Or are these options about equal in their risk actor? I apologize for the bluntness of my questions, but I thought this would be the safest place to ask. And just an FYI - I'm not sure if I have HSV-1 or HSV-2; I was diagnosed after the doctor looked at my first outbreak and the blood test is still coming back negative. I will test again in Feb. However, I've talked to the person who most likely infected me, and he has HSV-1, but has never had symptoms (which he believed that this was not something to worry about or disclose - lucky me). Thank you for any help/input you can provide...

I appreciated this video. I'm newly diagnosed and am struggling with a lot of what that means for how I live my life from here on now. Shortly before I was diagnosed, I had met someone I was interested in, and since then we have still been talking and going out some. However, he has no idea that I have Herpes, and I'm still trying to figure out if he is someone I want to continue the relationship with and disclose to. It seems to put a whole new spin on continuing a relationship when I have Herpes, especially when I'm so new at learning about it myself. However, if I do decide to continue this in the direction of a relationship and disclose at some point, it was so helpful to hear how it can actually go. Your "good" model and "bad" model were extremely helpful. Thank you.

Hi there, I'm a 35 year old single mother of two boys and very newly diagnosed with genital herpes and my doctor, while he is genuinely trying, just doesn't seem to know much about it. I am looking for someone to answer a few questions about my symptoms - kind of at a loss as to where to turn to.