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In_The_Same_Boat

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  1. @MMissouri, it makes no difference to me if my giver has genital HSV or not, because we have never had intercourse… To any other non-believers, hey, I thought it was impossible, too. Believe me- I wish it were impossible- I would give up everything I own if only it could be impossible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not saying it is always present in the saliva if you have oral hsv. I am not saying it is often in your saliva if you have oral hsv. I'm saying that if you are symptomatically or asymptomatically shedding, it can be present in your saliva, and if this were not possible, I wouldn't have it. I know it may be easy to think, well, it could have been from someone else, but I had no contact with anyone else for years and years AND- because of the precise location of the outbreak- it's in a location that I wouldn't normally utilize during sex.
  2. Anyway, if you google it, most (reputable) sites state that it can be present in saliva for oral hsv, and in semen and vaginal fluids for genital hsv. I don't want to cause anyone to panic… just to be aware.
  3. Yes, he licked or spat on his hand, then stuck it someplace he shouldn't have. I wouldn't have believed it either, if it hadn't happened to me. At first, when the itching started, I thought, no… there is just no way… he developed cold sores the same day I broke out- exactly one week after exposing me to it… so he was shedding, with no knowledge of it…I think it was the CDC's website that says shedding is very common about a week prior to and after an ob.
  4. I'll let someone else fill in the details about the other fluids, but I just wanted to tell you that yes, if you are shedding, and you have oral hsv, it can be spread by saliva- yes, just through saliva- even without any skin to skin contact- I'm living proof of that! I would think the CDC's website should have reasonably accurate info.
  5. You know… life can be weird. A few days BEFORE I had my first ever OB, I had a friend over. I asked her how a mutual friend was doing- who my friend knows better than I do. She told me that she was ok, but that she had gotten herpes, and for this reason, my friend no longer wanted to go to her house, use her towels, etc. I was just so surprised that this poor woman had contacted herpes, that I really didn't know what to say, except "oh my gosh… how?" Meanwhile… throughout the evening, my friend kept telling me how amazing my new place was, and, would I possibly consider letting her move in with me, and be roommates…? Well, first of all, I don't want a roommate. But this all happened before I knew I had been exposed to herpes. When I had my first OB, complete with flu like symptoms a few days later, that conversation flashed through my mind. And guess what…? I knew exactly who NOT to tell! And guess what else? I know exactly who NOT to invite over when she needs a place to stay! She would be over here every weekend if I let her, not to mention the whole horrible "let's be roommates" idea. So, @ele3, I think it was wise not to share your situation with them- at least not yet- I think it sounds like they may not have the maturity to handle it. And you have to try to get out of your funk… Maybe just try to focus on school, interests, yoga, meditation, etc… I know people always say "don't compare yourself to others", but it's true… Don't worry too much about not having met "anybody" yet. You don't want to meet just "anybody", anyway… you want to meet somebody really worth meeting, am I wrong? Don't rush it… It will happen, but probably not until you are in a bit of a better place. So… get there! Take care and feel better.
  6. Wow. I really like this… Don't worry, when the time is right, you will find the "1"…
  7. I feel for you… not sure what to tell you. I think it would be good to tell him. In regard to those last two lines… for future reference- yeah, it does seem to be the norm for people not to disclose oral hsv1… and as a result, isn't that how most of us here got it? Disclose before kissing? Yeah, not sure, but disclose before oral? Definitely. Yes, even though you are not positive you have it orally, and yes, even though 80% of the population has it. The way I got it- the chances were soooo remote, yet I still got it. For that reason, I'd say err on the side of caution!
  8. Well, @seeker, I love reading your posts, btw… No, you are not going to get in trouble! I hear you about "what's wrong with two people drinking together" but… but… but...in these two gal's cases… they seem to have been MUCH more drunk than the guys in question. The shy gal was "blackout drunk", yet they still managed to get back to the guy's house somehow… the guy wasn't too drunk to get it up, so it seems like she was WAY more drunk… In Miss Cleopatra's case, he had to assure her that a condom was used, because she does't seem to have any memory of what happened… he was able to perform, put on a condom, remember what took place… When I first read these posts, my first thought was… I actually wanted to ask these women if they were absolutely sure if they were just really drunk… or if something had been slipped into their drinks! Shy gal seemed to be drunk so "suddenly", after all, and woke up "in a trance"… sounds like someone who could have gotten blackout drunk, also sounds like someone who could have been drugged. If two people are equally drunk, ok, both equally responsible, I guess, but I thought that most guys couldn't get much of an erection in the first place!
  9. Best of luck telling him. Yes, fear of rejection is a very real thing, but telling him is the right thing to do. If you love each other, I don't see how you can possibly lose him- over something like this… And you have known each other for ten years! Sounds like you know each other very well, and this shouldn't turn out to be a huge issue. Wishing you the best of luck!
  10. Yeah, I was going to say… H makes it easier for us to contract HIV… so yes, we are in a higher risk group for that.
  11. How very astute of you, James… Well put! Particularly the part about people who see h as a deal breaker. Not that I'm happy I have this- because I'm not, but it does show you very quickly what other people are REALLY about. Best of luck disclosing! : )
  12. I think it's great idea to experiment in a new city! Sounds like a good way to try it out. About women messaging men: When I was "looking", I would occasionally message someone if I liked his profile, but the trouble is, women tend to get LOTS of messages, partly because there are more men than women on many sites… So- if a woman gets more messages than she can read and sort through on a daily basis, she might be more inclined to check as many profiles of the guys who have sent her messages as she can- and looking at other profiles might go by the wayside. That's my two cents. Good luck!
  13. Wait… What?!?!?!? She wants to put someone at risk… without telling them… again? Wow. What else is there to say, really? Just, WOW.
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